Wow, he lives in a 20 yuan buffet!

Well, it's been a minute. So I figured an update is in order. Unfortunately I don't have much to offer except a life update, so maybe skip this one if you're just looking for travel adventures. It's been about 3 months since we came to Qujing. And to be honest, I wasn't expecting to be here quite this long. I mean, it would be a nice change of pace, except I have been completely swamped. And this is fresh off the heels of being completely swamped in Shanghai. So, I think some changes are in order. But the main source of stress, and our delay, is all due to the Portuguese visa process. And I hear you all - I get messages every hour of every day saying "Please, Weg, talk more about visa paperwork! I am dying to know about Form 14-B! Well, ask and you shall receive! The main holdup this time was my background check. I needed to get one in China, and our plan was to just stroll into the police station in Yunnan to get it. After all, that's how Ella did it. For me however? Nope. It's got to come from Shanghai. Now, in theory I get why. I just arrived here, after all. But so did Ella. How come she can get it and I can't? The whole ordeal involved hiring an agency and getting them to notarize/apostille it. That was another 3 weeks wait, so, yay. But finally the day had come! Our agent booked us a slot at the visa office in the capital, Kunming. Wanting a change of pace, we decided to make a weekend out of it. I took some time off work, and we left 2 days early to see the sights. 

 

 

And Kunming is pretty great! I had visited ~8 years ago, but it's really come a long way. Lots of breweries, foreign food, and in general, a mini-Shanghai without the price. I quite like it there, and we discussed that maybe, one day, we could consider moving here. It's somewhat like Dali, but with big city conveniences. And the rent is fairly cheap, about 2000 yuan a month (~$300). That's about 1/3rd of Shanghai's rent, so, not bad. We even found a great bar with some pretty wild stuff I'd never be able to try elsewhere, like a Sichuan Pepper Ale, or an IPA from the Dai minority group. We were having a good time visiting a pet district (?), museums, etc., and then, a half day into our holiday, things came to a screeching halt. We got a call from the visa office. They said that the Portuguese Embassy has changed the processing of visas from Beijing to Guangzhou. So, since they are unsure if our application would make it before the switch, we should consider coming back in 2 weeks. To me, this didn't make sense. Are you recommending or telling? You're kind of in charge of this, after all. So of course, if it was sent too late, Beijing would send it to Guangzhou, right? And they didn't know.

I'm complaining, but I only have a dog this time.

Like, why don't you know? Because I certainly don't. So we spent the entire day calling people from the main visa processing center, the Guangzhou Consulate, and the Beijing Embassy to see if our application would be processed. You know... things that THE VISA PROCESSING CENTER SHOULD DO, because why is it my job to figure how your office works? Later when the Kunming office called us back, we told them what we found out, they checked, and said yes it's fine for us to submit tomorrow. So, thank you so much VFS, for letting us waste an entire day doing your job for you. Fortunately the next day, the actual application process went fairly smoothly. Unlike when Ella applied for the Schengen Tourist visa there a year or two ago, we knew exactly what we needed - through her experience, and our agent helping us out. So while I was a nervous wreck, they were actually very nice, and we apparently had everything. But now, it's up to the embassy. I think we gave it our best shot, and so the wait begins - up to 2 months.

 

You can diagnose your pee. Technology!

But the silliness did not end there. You see, I am now without a passport. Of course I anticipated this, so a few days before I called China Railways - explaining the situation and asking if I could travel back home with just a copy and something official from the agency. They said yes. Just to be extra sure, we stopped at the ticket office when we arrived in Kunming, and asked the clerk the same. They also said yes. So after we left the agency, stamped passport copy in hand, we went to the train station to catch a ride home. We went to buy a ticket, and they said sorry, the stamp from the visa office wouldn't do.

…

After some arguing and speaking with the manager, that was that. So now we needed to figure out another way to get home. Fortunately we found a coach station, and even though it was on the outskirts of town, and the ride was 2 1/2 hours as opposed to 1, we did eventually make it back. But what did I make it back to? Well, let me catch you up on life for the past few months.

A tower I hiked to in Qujing

Last time, I said I was getting some of my own students, which is true. I'm up to 4 now. I'll say 3/4 of my students, great people. Two of them I previously taught in Shanghai, and they're both lovely. Another is a 6 year old who is also very polite and kind. The last student... well, let's just say he is a handful. He is constantly bouncing around, refusing to study, and screaming. I've tried to change strategies until I find one that works, but whew, every class is a battle. But then, I get messages from his mom saying how much he likes me, and he talks about the two of us like we're best friends. So... I dunno? Personally I think he is an advertisement for birth control, but hey, glad they're happy.

I'm also working for some other online teaching platforms - one gives me work here and there for standardized test prep, but most of my work is teaching business English. The money isn't exactly fantastic, but living with mom and dad, our expenses are essentially 0. Almost all of my work is in the evenings and weekends, which I'm not thrilled by, but it'll do for now. It was pretty hard to juggle 3 schedules with the stress of preparing the visa, but fortunately with that out of the way, things are a lot better now. Unfortunately as my work picked up, I've dropped doing the Chinese videos, or any Chinese study at all actually. I think as I get older, and/or process my trauma of the DELTA, I am really struggling to cope when my workload gets high. Of course this is something I need to overcome, because there will certainly be times in my life where I get busy. But my strategy for now is to try and keep things under control, even if it involves turning down work - money we could use, since we're obviously saving up for Portugal. But doing the math, we should be okay for a while, even if it'll be a little tight at first.

Actually, Qujing can be very pretty.

Anyway, my business learners are with some pretty large Chinese companies you've probably heard of. While we do talk about exciting things like meetings, agendas, and reports, I get to hear the tea on crazy coworkers, and their opinions on a range of topics. If this was just a few times a day I'd actually like it a lot, but when I meet up to 8 people a day for 45 minutes... oof. That's too much. By the end I feel all talked out. Ella asked me if I like my current work or my previous work more, and honestly it's a mixed bag. Certainly my current work is less physically demanding - I'm not trying to corral a squadron of kids. I also like the conversations with my students, since many are legitimately cool people. On the other hand, there isn't much distinction between my personal and work life. My lessons are spread throughout the day, in the same place I relax, so there is no "switching off". I think it makes me feel busier than I actually am, which isn't ideal. For the time being though, it's what we have, so I don't really have a choice. I think I would prefer getting out of the house, and having a clear boundary between your home life and work life. But it also could be a lot worse - like if all of my students were Mr. ADHD.

Let's start with a cat.

So, it's been a while. There's a lot to catch up on, so let's get started. We can start with the life update, and then end on our latest adventures. If you don't care about my personal ramblings (understandable), I'll put an ASCII cat to separate them - so you can scroll down and skip to the fun stuff.

I realize the last blog entry was from Vietnam, which feels like an eternity ago. Well, to state the obvious, we're not there anymore, as we went back to our life in Shanghai. My time since that holiday has been.. well, not so great. Maybe I've mentioned before, maybe not, but I was head of the international department, which closed down after this year. This is not news, as I knew about it before ever coming here. But it's meant an inordinate amount of work for me. In truth about all I could muster up on weekends were social life on Friday/Saturday nights, much less anything more adventurous.

To add onto that, this is the end of our life in Shanghai. Which, even typing that sentence really hits me in the feels. It's been an amazing five years, full of mostly ups, a few downs, but most importantly, lifelong friends. But in order to process our visa for Portugal, we need to do some things in Ella's hometown. I'm sure many people here have moved house before, and all the trouble that involves. Well, I've had the "privilege" of moving counties several times before, and believe you me, that's an even bigger deal. You pretty much need to close out your life, and condense all you own in the world to one suitcase. So, busy busy busy. And actually, we had quite a few friends who decided their China journey was over. So towards the end, it was me trying to close the entire school department, getting our life sorted, and attending farewell parties.

I'm tired, boss.

Which seems a good enough segue to mention I'm 40 now. Not that that's news, as the five people that read this are family, and close friends who also just turned 40. Physically, I feel the same as I did ten years ago (knock on wood). Well, except for maybe one difference - I've heard people compare drinking to "borrowing joy from the future". As I've gotten older, the interest rate on that loan gets higher and higher.

 

 

 

 

 

  

But I've definitely not slowed down, in fact, I've sped up. Of course there's the previously mentioned Portuguese residence visa, which is a ton of work (oddly enough, similar to the amount of work for the tourist visa we applied for last year, which really makes me question the EU's priorities). But also, I'm trying to get my online freelance teaching career off the ground. I've got a few students and contracts already, which is definitely enough for now as our life expenses are zero. But I'm trying to ramp it up to be something sustainable while we ostensibly get settled in Portugal. I've even jumped into Chinese social media, recording videos of myself teaching English in Chinese. This is part me practicing my Chinese, part me trying to recruit new students. I'm really surprised how many views they're getting, so, hopefully something good comes of it. I'll attach a video below, though unless you speak Chinese, you won't understand much. Anyway, if you want to learn English (how are you reading this?) or Chinese, there are two teachers here that are looking for work.

 

 

   |\__/,|   (`\
  _.|o o  |_   ) )
-(((---(((--------

And the ASCII cat marks the transition to travel adventures! Since our new home is in Yunnan Province, we're kind of spoiled for choice of places to see. Yunnan is a very diverse place, and has a reputation of being sort of like China's Thailand/Vietnam, but without the flights and language barrier. We had some free time, and for once, we were going to a place that Ella has been before, but I had not - Dali. Dali is not a place most foreigners have heard of, but it's a really big deal for Chinese tourists. It has a long history, actually being its own kingdom from around 950-1250. They controlled a big chunk of modern day Yunnan province, along with northern parts of today's Myanmar, Laos, and Vietnam. Nowadays, Dali has three sides to it: the first is a fairly modern Chinese city that looks pretty much like every other middle sized Chinese city - it's got tower blocks, a Walmart, and parks full of aunties dancing. The second part is full of villas and water activities. Dali is next to a huge lake, so it's the "Chinese Riviera", but 1/10th the price. The third part, and really the only interesting one to us, is the ancient town.

Now, there is no shortage of ancient towns in China. Like, literally, I'm sure there are hundreds, if not thousands in the country. Heck, there are 4 just in Shanghai, and probably a dozen more within day-trip distance of there. But there's not much reason to see more than a few, because they're pretty much the same - here's the old city wall (renovated in 2005), the traditional snack street (which also features a KFC), the city temple (like every other temple, except crowded), and an infinite number of street vendors (all selling the same refrigerator magnets).

What makes Dali different though, is that all that stuff is just 25% of the ancient town. The other 75% then, is an actual place that actual people live in. It's full of narrow streets full of coffee shops, bars, and local restaurants that locals actually go to. Amazing, I know. But most importantly for me, it's all very walkable. I always said, I wish Shanghai's Tianzifang was a whole city, and Dali comes the closest. To compare it to other places, it's sort of like the peninsular part of Macau, Spain's Toledo, or Italy's Florence. Yes, if you need to haul something, it is possible to bring a car inside. But you better really want to - there is only one through street, and all the others are so narrow, you'll be driving at walking speed. Other streets just have bollards, blocking all access until night so deliveries can come in. It's this strange, foreign concept where it's a city designed for people instead of cars. What will they think of next!? 

Chinese have taken notice, because Dali has gotten a reputation for being the "digital nomad" mecca of China. Sort of like Chiang Mai in Thailand, it has a lot of young people living on shoestring budgets to start their online business, or working remotely. It's very doable, as once you get off the tourist trail, things are much cheaper than Shanghai. In fact, one afternoon we stopped at a coffee shop, and the girl that runs it said her expenses are about 2000 yuan a month (~$280), with 800 (~$110) of that being rent. Now, I'm sure if Ella and I moved there, our expenses would be a bit more, because KFC doesn't grow on trees. But it's nice to know that if I just get tired of life, I could say "to hell with this", teach some kids online for 10 hours a week, and retire today. It's not a Plan B, more like a Plan Z. But a comforting thought nonetheless.

 

In truth, most of our time in Dali was just wandering around the ancient city. It's square-shaped, with each side being around 2km. Google tells me an average American city block is 200m, so if it's easier, 10 blocks by 10 blocks. But when the area is crisscrossed with different lanes, side alleys, and passageways, you could spend a long time there and not see everything. We probably spent 3 full days trying out shops, bars and restaurants, and we were constantly surprised. Oh, and remember when I said earlier this city was designed for people? Well, I lied, because what I meant to say is that this city was designed for cats. There were cats everywhere. After the 10th shop in a row had a cat, it just got to the point where we assumed every place had a cat somewhere, and it was our game to find it. Ella liked this game very much.

 

 

 

 

 

 

But as great as the ancient town is, we did venture a little further afield. For starters, we did visit the "Chinese Riviera" I mentioned earlier. We took a walk along the shore with some Shanghai friends staying near the lake. They are part of Ella's music group, and were playing a gig at an art festival on some farm. Honestly this festival looked exactly like every other American outdoor festival, which was a bit surreal for me. Also they had a horse name Shilai, which means "Come poop". Apparently this horse will poop every time he finishes walking. If that's not a great horse name, I don't know what is. But we just milled about, eating BBQ while listening to bluegrass music on a farm in the middle of nowhere in southern China (which I think has to be a new sentence).

 

After the surrealness of that situation wore off, we also went to the nearby town of Xizhou. Xizhou is sort of like Dali without nearly the number of tourists, although having an ancient town nonetheless (see, they're everywhere!) They seemed to specialize in snacks and textiles, so we got a chance to eat a lot and tex...tile... a lot? Actually most of the residents are of the Bai minority group, and they have a tradition of this blue tie dye pattern that they put on everything. Like most of Yunnan (and very unique for China), they're big on cheese, often roasting or frying it, then adding rose jam on top. Yeah, jam made from roses. Amazingly good. This place seemed older than Dali but not nearly as busy. It was a nice enough day trip, but a bit too quiet for my tastes.

 

 

And finally, our last stop was to the mountain. I always love me a good mountain, and Dali has a pretty tall one. Cangshan is 4000 meters tall, or roughly half the height of Everest. You can actually take a cable car almost to the top, but we opted for one a bit lower. Mostly because it's rainy season and every day the top of the mountain was covered in clouds, so the view would be pretty blah. Not to mention the price difference - 360 yuan (~$50) a person to go to the top, or 120 yuan (~$17) to go up "only" 3000 meters. Of course I can't compare it to the top, but wow, the view from 3000 meters was amazing. There were lots of bridges back and forth over a fast-moving river, with waterfalls and lots of other vistas. The cable car itself also had some amazing views, so, 10/10 experience, and maybe one of my favorite cable cars ever (gotta still say Maokong in Taipei is the best - I love it up there).

 

 

Wow, this has certainly turned into a long blog! But now you're all caught up on things. The last night in Dali we got to meet another China friend traveling through the area, who was leading a group of 5 others. It was a great send off to a sudden but very welcome trip, as she moves back to her new home in France. And who knows, maybe Ella and I will be a 2-hour plane ride away from her in the future - or we'll drown in this sea of visa paperwork.

You've likely never heard of Mui Ne (Moo E Nay), and a lot of others apparently haven't either. A beach town about 3 hours from Ho Chi Minh, Vietnam has tried to develop this place from a fishing village into a seaside resort. They started to put a lot of money into it during the exceedingly well timed year of 2018.

Oops.

With COVID pretty much shutting down travel, Mui Ne suffered a lot. There are no shortage of resorts or restaurants, but it seems like they're barely hanging on. Often we were the only people anywhere, although hopefully that picks up for Chinese New Year. Because like most of Southeast Asia, especially in beach towns, the people here and incredibly nice, and it kills me to see them struggle. So if you're looking for a quiet beach getaway, good news! Mui Ne is ripe for the picking. And I guess we did want that after HCMC, but Mui Ne felt almost too quiet. We spent 3 nights there, and there were days where we didn't see more than 10 people. There were some more popular places, but it was definitely low season. Still, it was a nice time to just chill and enjoy the quiet, which was appreciated after coming from the city.

Gotta hate rush hour traffic.

Mui Ne is actually a bit strange, because a lot of beaches are quite rocky - except Ham Tien, the public beach. A lot of resorts get around this by essentially building a giant sandbox with the wall at the water line. I guess it's a beach if you want to pretend? Our hotel didn't do that and just built out to the water. I guess it's a tradeoff, because we didn't have a fake beach, but we did have a nice balcony to enjoy the view. I also quite liked falling asleep to the sound of waves, something I think would be difficult to hear if the building is set back 200 meters or so. But like everyone, to get a real beach we had to venture a bit. And overall, pretty nice! We spent time just walking there, along with plenty of beer and mango smoothies. Quality wise it's up there with a lot of Thai beaches, but as expected it was a little too quiet for me. I'm not looking for something like the insanity of Pattaya, but more than one shop selling drinks would be nice.

But there are a few other sights in Mui Ne to check out, so one day we arranged a tour to see them. All the tours start at 4:30 AM, so you can be at The White Sand Dunes for sunrise. And I'm going to go on record and say I do not understand the appeal of sunrise. You know what looks the same as sunrise? Sunset. And you don't have to get up, literally, at the butt crack of dawn to see it. And for what? One picture? Why?

But with no choice, we got up at 4 in the morning to meet our guide. And special thanks to the American taxpayers, as the vehicle for this journey was graciously provided by the US Military. An old jeep painted neon green because why not, the engine sounded like it was burning a Dubai worth of gasoline every second, and the suspension probably hasn't been looked at since the army left it. Despite the smooth roads, it was an extremely bumpy and loud 45 minute drive to the first destination. On the plus side, who needs coffee to wake you up when you have that?

 

When we got to the White Sand Dunes, it funneled straight into the ATV rental place, like it was assumed that's the only reason you're here. At 600,000 dong a go ($24), but we declined. The vendors told us we were crazy, that it was very far, and impossible to walk. And yeah, to the end of the tourist trail I reckon was a kilometer or so, which would be hard (but hardly impossible) to do in the fine sand. We got about halfway before noticing a very lovely spot and just stopping there. Off in the distance we could see the hill where everyone else went, and it was completely packed with people. So while their sunrise photos contain about 100 tired foreigners milling about, ours are without a single person for a half kilometer. So I think we got the better deal, because our photos are certainly better, and $24 can buy a lot of Beer Saigons.

After, our tour continued to The Red Sand Dunes and Fishing Village. There's really not much to say about those, they were quick stops for a photo. I gotta say though, despite the Red Sand Dunes being "not as good" as the White, I liked them more. There was less brush poking through, so depending on your framing it looked like you were in the desert, and not, you know, on some beach. But I'll let you be the judge.

 

For me though, the real star of Mui Ne was the last stop on our tour, The Fairy Stream. It's a little, well, stream, that runs through the middle of town. There's a spot where you leave your shoes so you can wade upstream for 30 minutes or so, and then walk back. The water is ankle deep at most, and aside from just a few rocky parts it's quite sandy, so being barefoot was pretty comfortable. Along the way there are some beautiful vistas, and even shops selling coconuts and snacks. So it's this weird sort of tourist "road", and I'm a big fan. For the cost of 0 dong, it's one of my favorite things that I've done in Vietnam, and I think barefoot river walks should be more of a thing.

 

 

 

 

But after Mui Ne, we planned on going to Dalat, a mountain resort town that is popular with honeymooners. However we didn't really find so much to do there, and after spending a lot of time doing nothing in Mui Ne, lazing about wasn't seeming all that appealing. After seeing the weather report that it would rain the whole time we were there we decided to skip it. We eventually had to get back to Ho Chi Minh anyway to catch a flight, so we decided to just go back there and spend a little extra time doing stuff we didn't get around to - I guess we are city people after all. A nice surprise was the bus going back. It was a "limousine sleeper bus", and I had no idea what that meant.

Guys.

Guys!

This is a travel revolution.

I had never been on a bus like this, and I love it. Why aren't planes like this? Why isn't -every- form of transportation like this? I wasn't even tired, but it was just so darned comfortable I fell asleep immediately. I guess the argument is they don't hold as many people as a regular bus, but with all the cots stacked on top of each other it can't be significantly less. The 4 hour trip felt like 4 minutes, cause this thing is a slice of heaven.

Back in HCMC fully rested, we went out to do some eating and shopping. We had one more full day here, so we decided to do a group tour to Cu Chi. About two hours outside of HCMC, it's one of the places where the Vietcong hid during the war. Our guide took us around, explaining what life was like,  and how the people fought back against the Americans and the South Vietnamese. You get to eat the food they subsisted on (cassava with peanuts, which was actually quite good). And then you finally get to go through some of the tunnels. It's a massive network, but we only went through about 20 meters of it. Because spoiler alert - it's very dark and stuffy. The Vietcong lived in these tunnels for years, which is just mind boggling. After 60 seconds I was already getting pretty sweaty, so, I think I'll pass. Ella would say hard pass, along with other choice words.

But after weeks of soaking up the heat, we're now back in Shanghai, where it literally snowed the day we came back. After being out for 3 weeks and hitting up 3 countries, I wouldn't mind some time at home before work starts. There are so many good photos from this trip, I had to leave a bunch out. They're all on Facebook if you'd like to see more.

 

 

Seeya next time, Vietnam.