I got married!

I figured I should lead with that, since that's definitely the most important thing to happen in my life. This was something Ella and I have been sort of considering for 3ish years now, but just a combination of life and wanting to be really, really sure sort of delayed it. But a few months ago, we started to really consider it. We ordered some simple rings online, because who wants to blow a lot of money on a fancy ring? I'd rather blow it on airline tickets. Anyway, mine is a simple silver loop, and Ella's is a set of cat ears with paws on the other side.

Because that's actually a thing.

The deal was that I was to propose to her sometime during May, but not tell her when. I had been wanting to go to the top of the IFC Tower in Guangzhou, because 1) There's a skybar, and 2) There's a BAR IN THE SKY, and 3) It's currently the highest you can go until they finish the taller neighboring building. I finally convinced her to, and after spending a not unreasonable amount on some drinks, I thought it was a good time to pop the question.

So now we needed to find an officiant and venue. Honestly we would have taken any Joe off the street who was willing to get an online ordination, because the legal process is pretty... unsexy? Just signing a piece of paper. Turns out my neighbor and friend is pretty versed in this kind of thing, and even studied ministry in school. So, hats off to you Miles. You're the best.

The weekend before, we went around some of the parks to find a place to do it. We found this really cute gazebo in a children's park, of all places, not too far from school. It was pretty far from the playground area, so that seemed good enough for us. We got our friends together and went out there on a Tuesday - not the most convenient day for sure, but we wanted to do it then because it was the 4 year anniversary of when Ella and I met. Mostly everything went off without a hitch.

Mostly.

So, we arrived after work, because nothing puts you in the wedding mood by giving students their final exam. It's a children's park, so it actually closes at dusk. As we were kicking off the ceremony, a security guard walking by saw a group of foreigners conducting some sort of ritual, and I imagine was quite confused. So he called for backup. A few minutes later, a golf cart (the most intimidating of vehicles) with 4 other guards rolls up. Now, because of how we are situated, I am the only one facing the road, and am probably the only one seeing all of this unfold behind Ella. Everyone else is looking at us, of course. I was standing up there, as Miles said all these nice things about love, loyalty, etc., but the whole time I am thinking "Hm. So. The cops are going to break up my wedding." I tried to signal some people to turn around as they started to approach. One of the guests sort of blocked their path, and explained to them whats going on. Guard #1 wasn't having it. But fortunately the head guard was cooler, and said more or less "No problem, but we're closing in 10 minutes." Whew! Thanks everyone!

So after a Vietnamese dinner with far too much wine, the next day was a bit rough. But honestly everything worked out exactly as we had hoped. Something really low key, small, and inexpensive. I'm glad that people who want to do big weddings have that opportunity, but for me it just seems like a lot of fuss for no reason. I'd rather spend that money on a trip, such as to the beautiful city of Dongguaaaaaaan!

So for the... zero people reading this who know China, Dongguan has a reputation as being a blue collar, sin-city of China with lots of "working girls" in karaoke bars. However like Pattaya in Thailand, it also is trying to change its image and be more of a family-friendly tourist destination. With it being right next door to Guangzhou (like, literally the next city over), I've been wanting to make it out there. So we did a 2-days 1-night trip over extended weekend, first seeing sights in the city, then a historical area to the south. In the city, we kicked it off by going to the Dongguan Museum. One of the cooler small museums I've been in, they had some really neat stuff. A few impressive dioramas, but really, their ivory exhibit was really cool. I don't even know what this was supposed to be, but wow. Not that I'm in favor of ivory - sorry, elephants. At least take comfort in that it was all very old.

But the really amazing place in Dongguan is Keyuan Garden. It used to be some rich person's house, but now is just sort of like a Mulan, Crouching Tiger sort of playground. A giant sprawling house with a garden, nothing much to say about this place except that I felt like an emperor walking around in it. They had a few mini-museums, but overall it was just beautiful. I don't know if its worth the few hour detour if you're in Guangzhou, but it is impressive nonetheless. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

 

We had a detour to the world largest mall, the South China Mall. Err, really unimpressive, not much to see. But that evening we went to another interesting place, Xiabafang. How to describe this... imagine a 100 years ago, a bunch of people with no zoning laws wanted to build houses and live in a very small area. And then those people left and their houses were converted into bars/restaurants. So you have this network of alleyways, and 3/4-story houses with rooftop terraces. Its sort of a maze to go up each floor, twisting through passageways before you come out on this small section of a roof immediately against another roof. We had some Tibetan beef curry and then bar hopped for a bit, and if you're in the area it's worth a look. It was Friday night and a World Cup game was going on, and even then it wasn't very crowded. Chinese folk just don't like bars that much. Their loss.

The next morning we went to the southern part of the city, near the Shenzhen border. Called Humen, this is the mouth of the river that eventually flows to Guangzhou. There's a lot of history here, as this was the main battlefield of the Opium Wars. It all started when some fellow, who was mad at the British, threw a bunch of their trade goods into the river. Then the British got angry and had their navy pay a visit.

Stop me if you've heard this story before.

Anyway this kicked off a big fuss that eventually wound up with Hong Kong being given to the UK. Now, there is an opium museum that was alright, but not amazing. What is also not amazing is the scam taxi that we took to the next museum. He had a rigged meter that charged us about 3x what it should be. And people wonder why Didi (Uber) is killing the taxi business? Anyway, it was a short trip so it wasn't the end of the world (about $9 instead of $3). Learned my lesson.

But what was amazing is the next museum, the Naval History Museum. I can honestly say, this is one of the coolest museums I have ever been to. And it's just tucked under a bridge in rural Dongguan. It was one of the cleanest, most detailed, and packed full of amazing stuff place I've ever been. If you put this next to the Smithsonians in DC, it would not be out of place. It discussed naval warfare not just from China, but around the world with exhibits from a bunch of different countries. It had these really amazing, floor to ceiling paintings depicting battles, and large model displays that went into detail about them. So, let's throw some pictures up here. Man, this place is cool.

Outside we took a walk in Humen Fort, which the British sort of blew up. While it made for a few cool photos, we set out back across the river to Guangzhou to see the next place, Tianhou Temple. I know, temples. But this one was different, being built into the side of a mountain. Maybe the best example of a Chinese Temple out there, although Zhinan in Taipei comes close. I love the photos from this place, so I'm just going to let them do the talking.

 

And that was it for our little excursion. We had some crawfish on the way back, and then back to work. We're almost done, because as of writing there are only 2 days left this semester. That means a 2ish-month long holiday is right around the corner. Awwww yeah! We're not jetting off to some beach right away though. We need to get some things in order before we go back home. That's right, we're going home to Bangkok!

Ha, see what I did there? Bangkok does sort of feel like home though. We actually didn't intend to go there at all. Ella wanted to get her CELTA (teaching certification - sort of a big deal). It's a month long program and is super intense. I did it a few years ago, and looking back on that post I sounded a bit sour on the program. Maybe I've changed my mind, but honestly I felt it was the most I ever developed in a month, professionally. It was crazy intense, and I worked about 60-80 hours a week on it. Ella's going in with more experience than I did, which is nice, but also having to do all the work in her second language. So, it's going to be a lot of work for her.

As for me? I've got a few things on my plate, but mostly it's a month off. I have a big project I'm going to start that I'm pretty excited about. I don't want to talk about it yet, because I've never done anything like this before. Maybe I'll finish it in this month, but who knows? Otherwise, the road to getting my teaching license continues, and I have my (hopefully) final test in July. That should open up some more opportunities. After Ella's program, we're going to jet off to some other country for a bit for some R&R. Where? Who knows? My wife and I are always looking for suggestions.

Two blogs in one week? How could it be?

So I've said in the past that while I'm happy for the few number of people out there read my blog, I'm not writing it for the public - I'm writing it for myself to remember what I did 2, 10, 50 years ago. Usually that's travel stuff, but not today. There's been something on my mind recently, and I'm going to get a bit sour on social/political issues. I've done this in the past, but if that's not your thing, no worries, hope to see you next time.

I've noticed myself putting down the US a lot lately. It's in a sort of self-deprecating, humorous sort of way, or at least I intend it to be like that. But there is some truth behind it. Honestly, I do like the US. It has the best food in the world, if only for its diversity. I love the "Can do" attitude people there have, I love the genuine politeness with strangers, I love how they pretty much get everything before the rest of the world, and I love how much it has to offer for tourists. However, there was just some part with the social makeup of the US that never really sat well with me. Something that made me feel like I never fit in, and in general did not like people as much as I should. I wasn't able to articulate it until recently, but I think I finally honed in on it:

In general, Americans are looking for something to be angry about.

Maybe this isn't some giant revelation, but let me explain a bit - the US loves to take sides so they can be angry about the other one. And I don't mean in just politics, although that's there as well. Sports teams are pretty much this, manifest. Your home team is automatically, the best team at that sport, and all others and their supporters are terrible. I know that people (hopefully) think that in jest. But some don't, or at least they're very convincing actors. Even minor fanboy stuff like if you're an iPhone or Android person - you may think the others are just "not right" or insert other derogatory things. Oh, and Cincinnati chili! People will argue up and down what the best chili is, and everyone who disagrees is an uneducated moron. I am super guilty of this - I like Gold Star, but I poked fun at Skyline fans. As long as I'm being completely honest, both are good. I have a preference, but honestly I nor anyone anyone else should make someone feel bad about their preference.

But I think this is just the non-serious tip of things. It's not always a team thing, as you may have heard this story recently about a girl who wore a Chinese dress (旗袍) to prom. (By the by, I've brought it up with Chinese natives and read online, and there is 0 outrage that I can see over here about this. If you're curious this video is a good watch.) But this has remained a big issue sort of recently, enough that the Washington Post took time out from the many, many important things happening in the world to report on it. And all I can think is... "Why do you care?" In the grand scheme of things to be concerned about, this is so far down the list it's infinitesimal. Maybe the idea of it offends you - and that's cool, you can think not nice things about her and then move on with your life. If people say "This is a Qipao, from Utah.", then we get into cultural appropriation territory and I can sort of see your point. But until we get to that, in my opinion the outrage just makes you look ridiculous.

And to unfortunately take it up one more level in seriousness, gun control. This has become more of a front-line issue very recently with another school shooting. I have spent some time reading very conservative websites to see what's going on in that world, and man, what a super "with me or against me" situation Americans have made that out to be. Either you have to be hoarding enough guns to take down a battalion, or you support government gun-stealing ninjas. I don't get either of these positions. I have come out in favor of gun control in the past, because from what I've seen the data supports it. (namely, the US has the most guns per capita and the highest number of gun deaths) And that's really all I care about. You could argue my data sources are wrong, or I am making an incorrect comparison. But that's an attack on my argument, not an attack on me.

I think people get those confused a lot, and get their passion, or more frequently anger wrapped up in things. And it's really misplaced, because I think both sides want to save lives. Or at least, I hope they do. And if that's the end goal, are there really two sides at all? Why not three sides? (No guns, some control, no control). Or four? (Everyone gets a gun, some people get a gun, only police get a gun, no one gets a gun). Or five? (Everything is fine, arm teachers, raise the age to 21, improve mental health facilities, or try get rid of guns completely). All of these have been proposed, yet somehow get divided into only two columns. And there is this social pressure to pick one, and completely oppose the other. I'd say, what do the numbers say? They say if you really want to save lives, gun control is not at the top of the list. You should want to pump money into medical research and support tighter regulations on car safety. Because data says that's where the most deaths come from. And numbers can't be angry.

Maybe I've said all I can on this for now. And maybe you don't agree with me. But this type of strong opinion is something that I don't think I share with America, and in general people in Asia don't share. Maybe that's why I like it here. Until then, I think the US could use some foreign advice.