I'm sorry to do this to you. I had a post prepared to put up today that I can't, because there's something I need to do first, selfishly. I had said before that this blog is only for me, and that if people like reading it, well I'm glad. I'm not expecting to become some travel writer from it, rather this is just a diary of my current life that maybe in 10, 20, 30 years I'll be able to look at and enjoy. And I didn't write too much about my thoughts when shit happened, because I didn't know what this blog was yet. And I had it in my mind that this was a fun, whimsical thing my friends can enjoy, and I should avoid talking about anything depressing or serious. And if you do like reading it, I hope you continue to do so. But I don't know if that's how I see it anymore. And if you can forgive me stalling, and starting several sentences with conjunctions, I have to get through this one thing, while it's fresh in my mind before I can go back to writing about fun stuff.

I have bad luck with grandparents while overseas. Because I was just informed I lost another one. 5 months short of his 100th birthday.

And at the moment, I'm dealing with it better than I expected to. When my other grandpa died, it was a complete shock to me. I knew when I left this one a week or so ago, it would likely be the last time I saw him. His cancer was getting worse and worse, and I had the thought in my head "Just make it to 100.", like some arbitrary number mattered. I would joke that he would outlive me, because just a few years ago I was taking him to the track so he can socialize and gamble his $2 races. That's just something people in their mid 90s don't do. When I came back in December, and saw his condition first hand, it was a little surprising but not too bad. But just in those short few weeks I saw it progress pretty rapidly. And I knew when he told me he didn't go to the track anymore I knew it was pretty serious. And maybe it's because I made peace with it when I left that it wasn't the blow that the other grandparent was.

I learned about it not 30 minutes before I was to meet up with my new coworkers so they could take me out and show me a good time around the city. Something I have been desperate for, as I've said before my social circle is a lot smaller here. I thought about saying I can't make it. But then I knew I'd just stay in my room and feel miserable for the day, which doesn't really accomplish anything. So I tried to push it in the back of my mind, I went out, and I had a great time. The last time I spoke to him, he said "I don't understand what you're doing over there, but I know it's something you like. So don't worry about us, we'll get along. Keep doing what makes you happy and we'll pray for you." Well, I did and I am grandpa.

I'm not looking for prayers, condolences, or "sorry about your grandpa"s. Please don't send E-mails, messages, comments, or whatever. I've said my peace, I'm okay with it, and I'd rather tell you about the great day I had today. And I hope to find some time to do that soon.