Hello America!

So, for various reasons I found myself back in Cincinnati this past week. Which included a trip to Shanghai and Detroit inbetween. I appreciated the stopover in Shanghai if only for the chance to try some Chinese style noodles, something I've long missed. I didn't have a long layover, and the restaurants were ridiculously expensive, so I settled for some Family Mart microwave version. It was nice to be able to communicate with shopkeepers for once, and overall the noodles were pretty solid. I was making smalltalk with the girl working there while the microwave was going, when a group of foreigners came in and started speaking to her in English. She had no idea what they were saying, and asked if they could pay in Thai baht.

Seriously, guys?

So I translated and told them you could not, because I think that's pretty damn obvious. Anyway, good noodles. They also have karaoke (KTV) in the airport, in a little soundproof booth where you can indulge your voyeuristic/rock star fantasies. China, don't stop being weird.

Back in the US, it's been a time honored tradition to go to Gold Star for some chili, and that happened again this time. I also got to meet my nephew, who is surprisingly quiet for someone with half of my sister's genes. He more or less let me be, but started to warm up a little bit by the end of my stay. The next day few days of my stay involved visiting friends for lunch and coffee, as well as eating some old favorites. Mostly (fake) Mexican food, as it's quite uncommon outside of the US. There also was some (fake) Chinese food as well. Which, I don't mean to compare them to the real Mexican or Chinese. They're all good in their own way. The Chinese restaurant had "Little Buddha" beer, complete with a buddha shaped bottle. I had to think "Hmm, this would not fly in Thailand". But, definitely not there any more.

Continuing with the food and drink theme, of course being Thanksgiving there was a lot of turkey. I also brought some Thai beer with me, which had a destination. My friend Jack has a Youtube show called "Too Drunks" where he and his buddy sit around and rate beer. I suppose you could say I was a guest star on that, where we sampled Leo, Beer Laos, and Phuket Beer. If you'd like to watch it, it's here. But let's just say that I will not be making a big screen debut any time soon. If you don't have time, here's a quick summary: Leo - Pretty good, widely available. Beer Laos - Better. Phuket Beer - Actually Cambodian, not good.

Since I was spending time on the Ohio side of the river, I needed to be sure and ride the streetcar. So, my 2 cents on it - really cool! BUT... I'm glad Cincy is finally doing public transit, but this one just seems half assed. The streetcar is not in a dedicated lane, so it's still subject to traffic. It also can be about 20 minutes between cars, enough time that if I miss it, I will seek another way. Also, the route is dumb. It goes to some great spots, but it's a loop that's more like a line. The inbound and outbound tracks are only 1 block apart, so that's kind of useless. They should have made it a larger circle, as well as having a dedicated lane for streetcars, buses, and maybe carpooling to cut down on its traffic. Still, I hope it does well, and they build a lot more. Maybe a proper metro or two in the future, that would be even better.


Of course the purpose of this trip was not just Thanksgiving, though that was a nice coincidence. The main purpose was to attend Dan and Emily's wedding. It was at Rheingeist Brewery. which was pretty cool. I had never been there before, but I had tried their beers several times. And you know a couple is pretty cool when they get hitched at a brewery. I'm all for shaking up the stuffy, boring church weddings. It reminds me of when a looong time ago, I went to Dan's sister's wedding. It was very non-traditional, with a female officiant, edible bowls (bowls were not intentionally edible, just a side effect), and poems. And it was probably my favorite wedding ever, because they made it their own thing. Well, Dan and Emily definitely did that and went beyond, along with a ton of beer. If you like church weddings, good on ya, it's your day and you should do whatever the hell you want. But for an attendee? Ugh, so boring.

I suppose then, I should mention one minor, teensy, tiny hiccup that happened before the wedding, as it makes for a good story. And as I said later, I feel this story will become even better in 10, 20 years. Like many good stories, it involves alcohol on a Wednesday night. A few of us decided to go out for a sort of small get together sorts, as the wedding was Saturday. We had just begun the night more or less, getting a beer at Blank Slate before moving over to a local bar. While there, we did a round of shots and started on our next drink. Well, someone broke the window (the someone is Ryan), which should have been an omen of sorts. We moved upstairs to escape blame for someone (Ryan's) fuck up, and continued on. Well, Dan got up to go to the restroom, and Glier followed. Moments later, a girl came up to our table and said that she thinks our friend got hurt. In my mind I was thinking "Please let it be the one that is NOT getting married in 3 days", but it turns out Dan had a bit of a tumble down the stairs. There was a surprising amount of blood, and I am still not exactly sure how he managed to do that. Anyway, a doctor who happened to be there said that he would probably need stitches.

This has nothing to do with the story. I just thought we could use a break.

God dammit.

As is usual for guys, we spent entirely too much time saying how it was not a big deal when we all knew that we'd probably get into some hot water over this. But, in our defense, I am not sure how we should have avoided it. When Dan said he was going to the restroom, should we have covered him in bubble wrap? Anyway, the story ended with the bar replacing the window someone (Ryan) broke in the short time we were upstairs. Seriously impressive craftsmanship, good job guys. The end.

Alright, not really. The bride was called and came with her mom and dad. She gave us a bit of tongue lashing, which I can understand I suppose given all the stress of planning a wedding. I'd imagine they already have enough on their plate without adding "Groom looks like he lost a fight" to the mix. Anyway things started to get a bit more heated, to the point of a scene developing in the bar. I'm glad the parents were there to put some sense to things. They took Dan off to hospital land and now the four of us were feeling pretty bad, although again, what were we supposed to do? Clearly the only thing we could do NOW was to drink to forget this night ever happened. We made a good go at it too, with parking lot vomiting and a visit to Waffle House - you know, all the hallmarks of a good night. It turns out Dan's shiner wasn't really a big deal after all, with a bit of makeup it wasn't even noticeable. It certainly made an already memorable trip even more memorable, which I suppose is the best outcome possible. All I can hope is that there are no hard feelings, because I hope to see that crazy, fun bunch of people again soon.

Hopefully in Asia. Where late-night hospital stitches cost as much as the beer that gave them to you.