3 down, 1 to go.

Today we did our "let's go around Pyongyang" tour, which included monument... after monument... after monument. Honestly they're all incredibly boring and after the first few, I was thinking "Great, another stone structure that is exactly dimension x to commemorate blah blah blah". So I won't bore you with the 5 or so we saw today. Of a more interesting note, I got to ride the Pyongyang metro. I had heard it is the deepest in the world, and god I could believe that. The escalator down had to be a mile long. The stations are beautiful, but we were only allowed to see 3. I tried to take a peek when we were going by the others – strikingly less beautiful. I wonder why we were not allowed to see them?

They made a big deal about the fact we're going to see the statues of Kim Jong Il and Kim Il Sung today. This is apparently like the Vatican for these people. We were told before coming, if you are not willing to place flowers at their feet and bow, just don't even bother taking the trip. It's that serious. In fact, the cost of the flowers was included in the tour and supplied to us, so there's no excuse for not having them. The whole area in the front of the statues is a big square, that even being outside was extremely bright and reflective. They also said no one can wear sunglasses or hats out of respect, hence my squinted expression.

I'm not feeling so well today, really after eating the dog soup for lunch yesterday I have been pretty ill. One of my other travel companions also is not feeling well, and my roommate also is beginning to complain of stomach troubles. I never really liked Korean food that much in the ROK, and here it's like the ROK's but worse. So many cold dishes and fish, two things I am not really a fan of. I'm doing my best to eat small portions and keep everything down, which has been pretty hit or miss. I was just thinking I would pay 100 RMB for a Big Mac right now.

Pictured: The Hotel of Doom

Our schedule has changed dramatically while we were here. We were originally supposed to go to a village and eat dinner with a family, but that changed. Instead we went to a bowling alley and arcade. Seriously. I wasn't feeling up to bowling, but I managed to check out the arcade. A couple of old, old Daytona USA machines that had extremely disclored screens. And some slot machines. Good stuff. For as much as they seem to hate America, they don't seem to mind having American things. Marlboro cigarettes are quite fashionable.

The only other thing of note today was the Juche Tower. You may have seen it in pictures of the DPRK, but its a tall tower with a flame thingy at the top. It's about 8 stories high, but it was already bitterly cold. The wind 8 stories up did not help. I stepped inside the little area in front of the lift to get some shelter. The lift operator was standing there, and could speak English. She asked me where I was from. I said America.

"America. Hmm."

Making I joke, I said "And what country are you from?"

No response. I mumbled "Well I guess we'll just stand here awkwardly then."

We drove up in the mountains for the evening, which has a hotel immensely better than the one in Pyongyang. I had a hot shower for the first time in days, which felt absolutely amazing.

Last time I mentioned how if you look around, you can see "holes" in the facade they're portraying for us. The random power blackouts are certainly one of them. But when we get to a new place, there are only lights on that lead exactly to where we need to go. There are an exact number of place settings. There is no one else there. They clearly were informed we were coming, and these places don't look open to the public. Honestly I think these restaurants and hotels are reserved only for tourists or maybe the elite, and only open when someone is coming. Also, the signs and labels are always in English. Hmmmmm...

Pictured: What 99% of what North Korea looks like.

My first full day in the DPRK.

I have learned something very dear to me on this trip. I like cold weather. I do not like however, being cold. I like how I look in a coat, I like snow, I like drinking hot drinks, I like bundling up and hurling out the door like a brave adventurer ready to take on the world.

The thing is though, the cold comes to an end. You get in your car and after a few, the heater starts to warm you up. You go into a nice warm building where you can enjoy yourself. In the DPRK, there is no rest from the cold. You are cold when you get up, you are cold when you go into overly lofty, drafty, unheated buildings. You are cold when you eat your cold food on a cold plate in coldlandia. And finally, you are cold when you go to sleep at night.

So forgive me if I don't have the most positive opinion of things right now.

The days journey was to the DMZ, which was much easier than the trip on the south side. There are no documents, bus swaps, or anything of the sort. You kind of just... show up. There are a few checkpoints but they pretty much just wave everyone through. You get a senior solider and guard assigned to you, walk across the northern boundry, get back in the bus, and drive the last 500 meters or so. You get treated to 2 buildings on this side, where the sides met to end the war, and the actual table where it was signed. They told us to sit down, and I just happened to sit in the middle on one side. The guard told us the seat where I was sitting is the exact chair where the American Supreme Commander sat. It was rather humbling, actually.

After we went to the place where the document was signed. We actually ran into the German Ambassador to the DPRK on the trip, and he asked an interesting question. They say "American imperialists" this, "American imperialists" that, but he pointed out it was a UN Coalition. What about the other countries involved against the DPRK?

He paused for a second, and responded "The Americans tricked the other countries to support them. No one would ever attack the peaceful DPRK, etc etc" Interesting. Ballsy. Then again, what are they gonna do? Deport the diplomat?

There was a stop in the marble building overlooking the actual border, as seen from the South Korean side. This building is a shell with nothing in it. It does have a great balcony to oversee the line, and we could see a South Korean led group of westerners. We gave them (subdued) waves, which guards on both sides didn't really like.

I asked our guide about the village the DPRK has in the DMZ. She said it is a farming community of 100 families, we can have it since ROK does, etc etc. Fair enough. The village in question is the so called propaganda village, where telescopes reveal they are buildings with no backs, electricity on timers, basically a sham. What I didn't expect is to see another, actual village in the DMZ. With actual fields, people, and in general looking like the real thing that has copies across the countryside. I don't think I'm revealing some huge national secret (at least I hope not), but there are two villages in the DPRK DMZ. UN, the ball is in your court.

Right so, on the way we stopped at a photo op, nothing big. We also went to a restaurant with the famous dog soup. One of our other dealies was cancelled so we went to a Pleasure House. It's not what you think. It's barber shops, pools, gymnasiums, that sort of thing. I got a haircut and my beard shaved. (gasp). I am now beardless again, because I figured, how often can one say they got shaved in North Korea? The guide said it was the first time any tour group had been there.

After we went to a restaurant that was slightly better but not great. To be honest I don't really like Korean food, even when I was in the ROK.

The interesting thing about Pyongyang at night is that it is DARK. Like, really dark. The city just turns off, and you are shuttled about with absolutely zero bearings. There are no landmarks. There are hardly any cars. Its just you, alone, in the black. (Tell them I ain't comin' back – woo Firefly!) It's an interesting feeling, and pokes holes in the canvas they have put up for you. The random power blackouts too. Those help. More on that later.

Anyway this has been long enough so I'm going to call it here. Tomorrow we're going around Pyongyang, to fully take in its greatness.

Traffic was a problem when taking this photo. I swear, there was a car like, every 30 minutes.