Did you know China has lizards? China has lizards.

I came back from KTV one night, fairly drunk. (which, KTV has Gangnam Style now - awesome). I was brushing my teeth when I heard <skitter skitter> from the bathtub. I pull back the curtain and see a lizard who is not excited to see me.

"Huh. Well. That's new."

Lacking any sort of lizard facilities, I put him in a food storage container with water. I decided drunk Weg is an idiot, and that sober Weg will know what to do tomorrow. It would also be a nice surprise for him.

So the next morning, I go to take a shower and I step on a tupperware container. I think "What the deuce?". I look at the lizard inside and it all comes back to me. He was pretty freaked out, probably because I woke him up. Anyway I was going to the lake that day, so I brought him along and gave him his freedom.

The bigger question is why I was going to the lake. I swear to you all of this is true, but I was the token white guy in a ceremony with the vice mayor of Hangzhou.

Seriously.

How did it get to this point? Well let's Tarintino it back to a few days ago. I was in the office, chilling out when a call went out for any teachers wanting to make some extra cash. I thought "Hey, why not?" and volunteered. What I did not know is that myself and another teacher would be the centerpiece of a song and dance welcoming foreigners to Xiaoshan/Hangzhou. I was supposed to look like a tourist, walk onstage holding my "wife's" hand. Then we got to dance, clap our hands, and do a peace sign at the end. Then there was a confetti cannon and a ton of doves being released. For serious.




It turns out this is a pretty godamn big deal. There was a media frenzy there, on account of the tidal bore that goes through Hangzhou each year. We'll be on TV and radio for the next few days.

So after, everyone wanted photos. My favorite though, was the bird guy. The bird guy started talking to me in Chinese listing off all his accomplishments. Did you know he supplies birds for Hangzhou University? Apparently so. So he gave me a card, and was "You know, if you need any birds - give me a shout." Right, so. I have a bird guy now.



On the way out, we ran into him again and he offered to give us a ride back. Nice fellow. His car was a testament to hilarity. The trunk was full of pigeons, and the interior was filled with bird seed and Chinese bird trade magazines. Mister Bird (先生鸟) as I called him, was a pretty hilarious dude.

I swear to you this is all true.