So I'm a big fan of a podcast called Hello Internet. It's hard to describe, but it's a "two guys talking" sort of podcast that was started by some Youtubers I subscribe to. They make edutainment type of stuff, and I quite enjoy it. Anyway, one of the guys on the podcast is super obsessed with productivity. He views his life as a series of light bulbs, labeled things like family, work, social life, personal hobbies, etc.. And you only have a set amount of electricity. So as one becomes brighter, the others dim. The past few months, I've had the work bulb up pretty high.

This is a long about way to say I've been really boring lately. But, everything is a-okay! After a series of "This is missing - now that is missing" paperwork kerfuffles, I finally have a US Teaching License. What will I do with that? Probably nothing except put it on a resume and say "Look, I'm not a total idiot." Also, Ella and I have completed Module 1 of the DELTA. I know most of the people reading this are not in that field, so I'll keep my thoughts short - the test is perhaps one of the most useless tests I have had the misfortune of taking. It is a test of memorizing the format of the test, and the type of answers "they" want. Additionally our test prep center was disorganized, ill-run, and pointless. The last two weeks before the exam, Ella and I took a long hard look at their stuff, decided it had no value, and started over from square one. Turns out we were right, as virtually none of their content actually made it on the test. But I think we did quite well, at least well enough to pass. We won't know for sure until February.

In other sort of professional news, my book is shaping up nicely. I'm hesitant to put a percentage on how much it's completed, but at this point I'm pretty much done writing - although every time I read it, I make changes here and there. And as Ella says, "It looks like a research paper.", which is true. I need to think about how to change it to look more visually appealing, which is something I have no experience with. Still, I'm at a sort of impasse - now that it's basically done, what do I do with it? I guess self-publish as an ebook or something? It's something I need to look into, although I'm waiting to finish the DELTA so I can write about that.

Anyway, the DELTA took up virtually all of our free time, or at least our free time to explore - until suddenly not! Work ended early January, so I've had the past two or three weeks to do just about nothing. We discussed taking a quick trip somewhere, but with all the travel we're going to be doing, I think neither of us had that much motivation. Instead, it has been a riveting three weeks of playing Skyrim and watching movies. Honestly, after the DELTA, I sort of needed that. During the downtime, we've had a few pot luck meals and dinners before people leave, which is always great. We've also been exploring the countless new malls that have opened near us - honestly, there are now four malls a short distance away, two and a half (one expanded) of which opened in the past year.  It's nuts how fast things develop here. I appreciate the different restaurant opportunities, even if it is just different types of Chinese food. Really, it's a lot more diverse than fried rice or dumplings.

But, this isn't a teenage girl's Instagram, so I won't harp on about food we've eaten. Instead, how about some exploring stuff, like the Guangdong Museum.

Actually, back up. There is one food I need to talk about. There is this new popular restaurant on Beijing Road, one of the big social outing areas in the city. It's so popular, the wait there is bonkers. We've tried to go twice, and waiting an hour plus for a table with 500 other restaurants nearby seems... not worth it. This time, we arrived at 4:30 - and they don't even open until 5:15. "Let's give it a try", we thought.

There was still a crowd outside. But, we got a ticket, and fortunately got in on the first rush. It's actually an Indonesian/Malaysian restaurant, with dishes like Nasi Goreng and Rojak. But they're known for their signature dish, which was on every table. So, here are some pics - try and guess what it is.

Give up?

So, first, that's a giant ball of bread covered in honey. Good already, but then you give it a slice and open it up.

Oh wow.

Yes please.

In the middle is a ball of tin foil, and inside THAT is chicken curry. This is curry-ception. It was honestly pretty amazing. The curry was great, but the presentation just kind of pushed it over the top. Not a bad dinner for $10. I would say we'll be back, but, maybe when they're less popular.

Alright, now the Guangdong Museum. People say it's one of the best in China, and I will admit it's pretty good (still nothing compared to the National Museum in Beijing). But we had been there twice before - this time however, they had a traveling exhibit from Egypt. I don't know much about Egypt, but I do know that it's not every day you get to see mummies. Amazingly, this is the same traveling exhibit that was in Changsha when we were there, and I was a bit bummed we wouldn't be able to see it. Well, no more! It wasn't a huge exhibit, actually - probably about 30 minutes to see the whole thing. But there were mummies, and cat mummies, and some really cool stone things. Egypt is kind of amazing - it's one of the few civilizations that is older than China, and they made stuff that lasted even until now. But I don't think they could have imagined their dead people dug up and displayed, and then Anubis Ginger Snap cookies for sale at the gift shop next door.

Another destination was Bangkok Park - now, this is a weird one. Out on the outskirts of Guangzhou is Huadu district, a place I have never been because well, it's far. But they have this place that is modeled to look like Thailand. Why? I have no idea - because China. We made the long trek out to see that it is basically a children's park, with little funfair rides. While the buildings look nice, there's honestly not much to see. I was hoping we could at least get some Thai food, but there was none to be found. We asked a restaurant, and they said they used to sell it, but not anymore. Darn. Anyway, we got some neat photos, which I enjoyed sending to our friends in Thailand. It was next to a Stone Museum (I guess that's a thing?) that was a AAAA tourist site. For those who don't know China's Tourism Rating System (which, let's be honest, is no one), stuff like the Great Wall is AAAAA. 5 A's is the max. And this was 4. Holy cow, this is going to be impressive, right?

No. No it was not. It was a park with some random rocks.

Honestly, I hear the rating system is very political, and has little to do with the quality of the exhibit. This has confirmed my suspicions.
 
The final trip was to the US Embassy. I always like going to embassies. I feel like it's some ultra-exclusive club that only I'm allowed into. And of course, as all Americans know, inside every embassy is a Taco Bell and a craft beer bar that we're not allowed to talk about. This time I had to get some paperwork for Ella and I to be "for serious" married. Part of it included me taking an oath, so I was kind of excited. "What do I get to swear on?! A bible? The constitution?"

So I go there, fill out the form, and hand it to the notary. She looks at it, says "Is what you have written true?" I say yes. She passes it back to me, says "Please sign." I do, she puts the stamp on it, and says thank you.

THAT'S IT?!

FOR REAL?!

This disappointed me more than the ending to How I Met Your Mother. Here was my chance to do something really official, and it was about as exciting as ordering at the secret Taco Bell.

Argh! Anyway, tomorrow we're going back to Ella's hometown to pay a visit to my in-laws (first time I've written that). After that is a tour of Beijing, Nanjing, and Shanghai with Ella's in-laws, aka my mom and dad. I have no idea how they will react to "real" China, but I'm expecting some adjustment will be necessary. I'm also excited to show Ella Beijing, as she's been to America's capital before her own. For me, I've been to all of these places before. I've even been to Beijing in winter, which I have previously written about here. That time I said, quote, "It was godamn cold." What I meant to say is "I ceased to be a human, and became one with the ice." That was 6 years ago though, and hopefully in the mean time Beijing has at least begun to consider the idea of installing a single heater somewhere in the city. If you want to read about Nanjing, I said stuff here, here, and here. For Shanghai, c'mon, I went there like a dozen times when I lived in Hangzhou.

Although, I hear Shanghai does have a for-real Taco Bell now. And they serve beer there. Maybe my dreams will come true after all.