Farewell, China.

Well, farewell for now. This isn't the first time I've left China, but now that I'm married to someone from there, I will certainly be back. But amazingly Ella's visa was granted, and we are starting our new lives in Portugal. Before we get to that, I need to say a (temporary) goodbye to this place.

When I first left Mainland China back in 2012, I never really expected to return here. But along my journey of moving onto Taiwan, Thailand, Vietnam (briefly) and Thailand again, I met the most amazing person ever, who just so happened to be Chinese. I would have followed her literally anywhere, but with both of us feeling we wanted a change from Bangkok, we settled on Guangzhou.

It was an interesting 2 years there. We met some amazing people, and some lifelong friends. But at the same time, it never really felt like "home" to us. I think we both knew early on this was a temporary stopover. Ella especially changed a lot during that time, learning a lot about what she wants, and especially doesn't want, career wise. The one highlight of Guangzhou for us was the Xiaobei District, which is a working-class neighborhood full of immigrants mostly from Africa and India. It's not a place that tourists usually go, but we found ourselves spending almost every weekend there. And maybe this island of a different culture in the middle of a Chinese city let us realize what's important to us - we like international places. Certainly Bangkok had plenty, it being one of the most visited cities in the world. Guangzhou wasn't it, but we still had a lot of great memories.

I mean, getting married was the #1 memory.

Loved Nansha Temple

So pretty!

When mom and dad visited.

Good folks. All of em.

We fit in much better in Shanghai. It is maybe the only place other than Beijing where you can have some Biang Biang Noodles from Shaanxi Province, then walk across the street and get a taco. We met people from all around the world there, and it felt like home. There was a thought in the back of my mind that I may spend decades, or even the rest of my life here. And it would be possible. It does have the largest 2nd largest metro system in the world, a title it constantly trades with Beijing. The weather is usually nice, it's well connected, has lots to do, and is overall a nice place to live. But everything changed when the Fire Nation atta... I mean, when COVID happened. I don't want to dwell on COVID and the lockdown, I've certainly done plenty of that. But I think like a lot of people, that was a bit of an inflection point. We certainly had a lot of time to think. And that maybe China wasn't the perfect spot for us. Or at least, we needed a backup. Ella was quite taken with eastern Europe during our trip last year, so that seemed like a good enough place to try. After a lot of research, we found Portugal's visa was possible, and the rest is history.
 

Another wedding!

 

Many of our weekends

Zhujiajiao is really beautiful

The last night before lockdown

The first picture of freedom. My long hair!

More good people

Will miss this crazy crew

The "potentially deadly" hotpot

Sort of. I think I could also count Qujing, Yunnan as another place I've lived. We planned on moving here for a month or two to sort out the visa, but it turned out to be 8. Crazy to think that I lived in Hangzhou and Taipei only 4 months longer than here. But while I had been here many times to visit family, it was never a long trip. It has been interesting living with the mother and father in-law all that time. They are lovely people, and we had some great moments together. Hearing stories of young Ella, making people laugh when I speak the Qujing dialect, and since I'm probably the only foreigner within a 100km radius, I'm the "foreign diplomat" to explain whenever the US does something weird. But Qujing is too small, too quiet, for us - I mean, the extent of international food is one of two McDonald's in the city. It is a very chill place though, and working a few years in a western country or Shanghai may give you enough money to retire here. I mean, rent is $250 a month, and a meal in a local restaurant is $1.50. To process the visa, we had to make a lot of trips to the capital, Kunming. And I do mean a lot. But Kunming is a super cool place. Part of it is just in comparison to Qujing, but similar to Guangzhou's African community, it also has its own pocket of "internationality" with the Southeast Asian community. In truth we didn't really do much that was notable in Kunming - ate and drank, went to a few museums and temples. It even snowed one day, which was actually really lovely. But there's just something unique about Kunming, maybe because Yunnan itself is unique. For example they eat a lot of goat cheese, flowers, and all sorts of mushrooms, which is unusual even for China. There are countless wild mushroom hotpots, packed with people, and we gave it a try on one of our visits. It's a bit daunting, because they don't even give you utensils at first - you have to wait 18 minutes before eating to make sure a bad one didn't slip in. And they take a sample of your food, with your phone number, just in case. So, that's an experience.

So while we liked Kunming, at the same time we acknowledged it would be too small for us, and be only a year or two stopover. I think finally, it is time to move on. Certainly I will be back to Yunnan. Ella's parents aren't going anywhere. But I'd like to end with some of my favorite photos of my time here, to remember just how special of a place China is to me. See you again soon.

Getting Chinese married

Loved this Dali cable car

Dali Old Town

Dressing up in the Stone Forest

Luoping is one of the most beautiful places I've ever been

Kunming's normally lovely weather

... and that weather can change to snow in a week.

See you next time, mom and dad.

 

Time zones are weird. Like, when you read this, it's probably the next day in Asia. And then in the US, it's 100 years in the past. But hey, we've been here before! Let's take a trip down memory lane and see what I said in 2016 when Trump won the first time:

This was Hillary's election to lose, and she did... For as crazy as his [Trump's] campaign was, the Republican base did more or less get behind him.

Actually I don't think this was Kamala's election to lose. She did a great job with what she had. She was well liked, didn't have any scandals, didn't say anything that got people angry, and wasn't a part of a political dynasty. And as always, the Republicans rallied, hard, around their pick. Isn't the phrase "Democrats fall in love, Republicans fall in line?" As much as I think feverish support for any candidate is cultish, it does drive turnout.

I voted against Trump, because he has done many things I find deplorable.

Whew, I could add so many things to this list now! So many, that is impossible to begin. I will link to a "short" list here, which, despite being several years old with hundreds of entries, is already inadequate.

And without rhetoric or sarcasm, I'm scared.

Maybe some good news for me, but I'm somewhat less scared now, for two reasons. I know what we're getting into, and as time goes on, I feel less attachment to the US. Without sarcasm, I feel scared for the people who are still living there. It's going to be a wild ride.

But government reflects what you put into it. If you don't like the results, remember to vote again in 2 years.

I'm writing this before the final count, but there does seem to be a lot of turnout this year. When the dust settles and they find out how many young people voted, who knows? Maybe it will be higher than last time. If so, then I think young people have to at least be proud of themselves for trying. And if it's less, well, let that be a motivation to try harder. It's not entirely on young peoples' shoulders of course, but statistically they have the lowest turnout.

In the meantime, we're on this crazy ride so let's focus on the positives. There has never been anyone remotely like Trump before as President. Maybe he is the exact thing we need to cut through all the partisanship, corruption, and obstruction that has come to be the US government.

Oh sweet, innocent Weg of 8 years ago! I think by all measures those have gotten worse. All I can do is hope that this time is different. I can't see why it would be, but hey, you never know!

The left did a great job of dismissing Trump supporters as ignorant/racist/sexist/violent etc... And instead of reaching out to them, the left lumped everyone together and called them names.

Like I said in the previous blog entry, I am really concerned how nasty politics have become in the US (I spent a lot of time writing that, so while I've got you, I'd appreciate it if you had a look). And if it makes you feel better, you can point fingers. But that doesn't change the fact that blaming people is only going to make them support their candidate harder. I think if you really want to bridge the gap, and convince people to vote for your "side", you should be an example of a "side" worthy to emulate. Show empathy, understanding, and work together for common solutions. Not to repeat what I said a few days ago, but everyone, trying their own little way, has got to push to be better. Otherwise it's just going to be a continuous spiral where each person justifies their hate with more hate.

So sure, it's okay to be sad for a few days. I am too. But I refuse to believe that empathy, kindness, and understanding will ever be the wrong answer. As I've continued to push myself to do, I will try to exhibit those virtues online, even if others are not, because I want to people to be more civil and respectful. That kind of change doesn't come from demonizing people, they have to want it themselves. And I think being a caring person, and holding up a mirror to their own nastiness is the best way to do that.