"Long ago, in days of yore. It all began with a god named Thor. There were vikings, and boats, and plans for a furniture store. Ikea~ Ikea~"

Invoking the spirit of Joco, Ikea was a substitute for my Christmas dinner. Friend April had a buy one get one free coupon, so, score! Which, was really kind of necessary. I'm writing this to you on a new laptop, because my old one gave up the ghost. The LCD is going bad, and honestly, it's not worth the money to fix. After paying for school, and saving up for my Philippines trip, I am quite poor at the moment. I'm not going to starve or anything, and I still have savings in an American account, but I need to tighten the belt a little. My goal is to survive on $100 NT a day excluding weekends. That's a bit over $3 US, which is doable but a bit stifling. In the meantime I have a new Lenovo, which so far is nice - especially the keyboard. So comfortable!

So for a cheap next day we headed out to Longshan Temple to see an exhibition on Taiwanese Comfort Women. It's a pretty sad story, the whole Japanese thing during WWII. Anyway the whole exhibition was pretty much just 1 room, so after 5 minutes that was about it. We then wandered around Wanhua District, which had an old street I had never seen before. They had this weird museum that had an eclectic mix of exhibits, ranging from the first western doctors to visit Taiwan, to boats the aboriginals used. I've definitely never seen it on any sort of tourist guide before, but it was quite fun. The exhibits were pretty hands on, clearly designed for kids.

I've said in the past that Neihu is my favorite district of Taipei, but I am officially revising my statement - Wanhua is the best district. It's the "poor part of town", but by far has the most character and feels the most "Asian". If I could go back 1 year, I'd tell myself to live in Wanhua.

After that we went along the new MRT stations and ate at a small Korean restaurant. I'm really not a fan of Korean food. This was not bad, and cheap, but I dunno... Korean food. Meh. We also picked up a U-Bike, which are the bike rental stations popping up all over the city. It's free for 30 minutes, which is nice, but they "lock" you out for 15 minutes after getting one. This is so people don't just keep returning and renting again to reset the timer, which makes sense - I abused that all the time in China. However, they should have a 1 minute grace period or something. We had several incidents of one having a flat tire, or the brakes not working, stuff like that. Then you're basically screwed for 15 minutes, which is kind of annoying.

So that brings us to today, and my current exploration. One of the goals on my list was to visit the end of the Pingxi Line. I did, and well, there's not too much there. The end is a small town called Qingtong, and they do have an old street with a few scattered odds and ends. I snapped a pic or two, and then hoofed it to 1 stop back up the line, Pingxi itself. It's quite picturesque, with slightly more food to choose from. I walked around for a bit and ate at a small noodle shop I'm sure doesn't get many tourists. But the guy made some of the best fried noodles I've had in Taiwan, so that's good. Wandering a bit more I came across a temple, but this one had a weird cave next to it. At the mouth of the cave was a little shrine, and a tunnel going back into darkness. There was a light switch, but it didn't work. So armed with my cell phone torch, I went to explore this cave system. It's a pretty straight shot, but branching off are small rooms just full of tables and chairs. Did I mention there is absolutely zero light, it is completely silent, and no people anywhere around? Pretty creepy place. It'd be a lot of fun to go there on a busy weekend, hide in some corner, and wait for some tourist to come across it. Jump out and scream, and they'd probably need a new change of pants. I'll put some pictures of Pingxi here, along with the inside of the cave. This was the best I could do with the camera flash, because really, it was pitch black.

So, lets update my list. The only things left to do in Taiwan are:

1) Visit Yilan
2) Go to that small BBQ shop next to home
3) Visit that club with a line running to the Taiwan brewery
4) Complete all the puzzles in the children's park

I might cross off 2 and 3. The BBQ place looks nice enough but is only special because it's next door to me. And the Taiwan Brewery club... it sounds okay, but it is Taiwan Beer after all - you can only polish a turd so much.

So for my current adventure, I took some time off and traveled into rural Taiwan. Tiffany came along with, and it's interesting travelling with someone who can speak the language - namely, you can go to places you never would have thought of going before. I never saw these places listed in any English guidebook or website, so it's pretty off the beaten path, at least for western folk. And rural Taiwan is kind of funny - I can be in one of the most remote parts of the country, miles from anything resembling civilization, and yet I still maintain full 3G coverage. Get it together, America.

We started out from Taipei after I finished work on Saturday night, to the city of Taizhong. I've been to Taizhong before, during my around-the-island hop super vacation in July. This time it was just a stopping off point for Sun Moon Lake. We did visit a night market for some grub, but turned in a bit early to get a start in the morning.

And then next morning, off we go to Sun Moon Lake! Sun Moon Lake was one of the few places left on my list of "stuff I want to accomplish in Taiwan", so I was excited to go. It's a bit surprising - you have to travel quite a distance to get there, along windy dirt roads with farmers tending to rice paddies. Then suddenly, boom. Resort hotels, McDonalds, fancy cars, you name it. We got a day pass to go to the various stops around the lake. This place has a rep for being a mainland China tourist destination, and they weren't kidding. It felt like I was back in Xiang Lake at Xiaoshan. So much pushing, nonchalant littering, shouting, and complete disregard for anything resembling a line. Oh, how I miss it!

We stopped by a market where we sampled some local delicacies - some sort of dough wrapped around a bamboo stick, pumpkin bread, milk tea, and mushroom ice cream. The ice cream tasted how you would expect. I also sampled the local beer. GOD, Asia! Learn how to pour a beer. TILT the glass, don't use it like a soda fountain. This guy also had a ladle on hand to scoop out the foam after dispensing the beer like some sort of waterfall. Or, ya know... just tilt the glass and don't make foam. The beer was really light, kind of tasted like Snow back in China. Oh, the horror!

Back to the main street, we went to catch a bus to the Monster Village. I don't really know what this place is, but on Google Maps there is a road running to the middle of the island. At some point that road just stops. That is where we were going. The road to Xitou was a bit long, but the driver was a friendly guy - also, we were the only ones on the bus. We arrived after dark, and monsters apparently have an early bedtime because it was kind of dead. However, we did get to see a monster show with a giant stuffed cat. The real star was a Japanese restaurant where I got sake noodles. On the side you got a cup of sake to add more if you liked. I liked. Sake really makes noodles taste awesome. During dinner, one of the monsters came out in costume and asked if we would like to play a game. I said sure. I got to call highs or lows, then compete in a dice roll with him. After winning 3 times in a row, I got a keychain and a postcard that said "Happy Halloween!" Another guy lost, and the monster drew all over his face in makeup. I kind of wanted to lose, actually.

We spent the night in Xitou and headed out to the nature preserve next door in the morning. We didn't have much time, but it honestly was just a forest without anything exceptionally great. Just pretty and remote. Speaking of remote, while walking through the forest we came across a HiLife convenience store, which I think wins the award for "most remote convenience store in Taiwan". I got boazi and a coffee, because that's awesome. We headed back to Sun Moon Lake to go to Puli, and then onto Qingjing. We had a layover back in Sun Moon Lake, and found a store/restaurant where everything was made of cardboard - even the tables and chairs.

After a good deal of time we were on our way to Qingjing. Qingjing is amazing. It's pretty much the dead center of the island. It's also the most un-asian looking place I've been in Asia. This is only one of a couple roads connecting the east side and west side of the country, so I guess you get a weird mix of cultures. But one of those cultures apparently is a lot like the Swiss Alps. High, high up in the mountains, and I mean really high, were giant chateaus situated on mountain sides, next to farms. I've never seen anything like it. We got to the tippy top, which is a sheep farm. There's really not too much to do here, except look at sheep and feed sheep. Oh, and a horse ride in a circle if you are so inclined. I think the scenery is the main draw, because it's just amazing. We got the last bus back to Puli, and checked out a chocolate store that hand makes its own stuff. The chocolate was pretty great, but their ice cream was even better - handmade gelato, in the middle of nowhere. Who would've thunkit?

And yet one more bus back to Taizhong for the evening. Before turning in we went to another local night market, this one significantly smaller. Despite staying in a budget hotel, they offered free breakfast in the morning. Mad props to this hotel's breakfast, because it was pretty flipping awesome. I stuffed myself full, because I haven't had a giant western style breakfast buffet since Dandong, China. Dandong is that city next to North Korea, and to this day the nicest hotel I've ever stayed at. We didn't have much on the agenda for Taizhong, but I wanted to check out the local winery. It's a pretty small place, and I got a bottle of deer antler spirits. Supposedly, deer antler in ancient Chinese medicine helps with circulation and is an aphrodisiac. I think it's just alcohol, and that just makes it feel like you are accomplishing those two things. I also had a wine and peanut popsicle, and Tiffany had liquor instant noodles. While we were eating, the workers commented about crazy foreigners who eat popsicles without a jacket in the middle of winter. 

We went back to the city center and took a walk towards the Taizhong Conservatory, which I didn't get to see last time I was here. It's cool, but a bit small. It has plants. They photosynthesize a lot. Finally, the very last stop before heading home was a cat cafe - a cafe where you drink coffee while playing with cats. This was a trip full of disaster. A little off the beaten path, Google suggested we take a bus, then walk about 15 minutes. I think Google assumed 15 minutes at my walking speed. At a normal persons, this is closer to 45. We eventually made it, in the pouring rain, only to find that it is closed. We wanted to get a taxi back to the station, but none were to be found. We made it back to the main road, the same road the train station is on, albeit about 4km away. The bus station didn't have a paper sign thingy saying what the stops were, but it was a straight shot and Google said it is so. We got on, and Tiffany asked if this goes to the train station. The guy said no, you need the one across the street. A bit odd, but I figure the driver knows where his bus is going better than Google. So we go across the street, get on that bus, going away from the station. The guy says yes he goes to the train station. I assume this guy is going to turn around, but after 15 minutes, he never does. Searching online, he goes to some other train station north of Taizhong. His route never goes near the main station, but the other guys definitely does. I assume these drivers are both retarded, or went out of their way to screw us. Anyway we took the local train from this nowhere station to a city further up the tracks called Fengyuan. Once there, we had to wait for about 30 minutes, transfer to a fast train, and got back to Taipei, eventually. Tired, wet, and bitter at Taizhong's glorious bus system.

At first I was a little bummed Taiwan doesn't celebrate Christmas as much as China (which isn't saying much). But now I know the reason. All of Taiwan's Christmas is condensed into the Banqiao District. I went there to check out that restaurant I mentioned previously. To my surprise, my day off coincided with the largest concert I have ever been to in my life. It was a 90 minute wait to get a table, but in reality was closer to 45. We got a call that our table was ready, but it took nearly a half hour just to move through the crowd. However, this is my favorite restaurant in Taiwan so far. The beer selection is so amazing, it brought a tear to my eye. The food was also pretty good, and surprisingly not overpriced. The beer was overpriced, though. I swear, Taiwan must have a huge tax on beer. It's impossible to buy it cheaply here. I got fairly drunk off a very strong Belgian Tripel. And other things. They also sold cigarettes they made themselves for 30 cents. I'm not really a smoker, but a coffee cigarette sounded appealing. There was no coffee taste at all. It wasn't bad otherwise though. Oh, and during dinner they spilled a bunch of water next to us. The floor got soaked, which hey, whatever. They gave us french fries as an apology. But really, they were overly apologetic in Taiwanese style - the one guy started to dab the few drops of water on my shoe with a napkin. Tiffany got a little more wet than I, but nothing too serious I think. Anyway, free french fries.

With another day off, I decided to scratch the Taoyuan portion of my list off. This meant a trip to Cihu to see Chang Kai Shek. Or at least, where his body is. It's a really pretty place, but like all things in Taiwan, there are no pictures allowed inside. It's a very small building, you can walk in and out within a minute. As far as the coffin, it's just a giant marble box. I'll grab a picture from the internets and throw it up here.

After Cihu I headed back towards Taoyuan, stopping off at some places along the way. The first of these is the, I swear I am not making this up, the Soy Sauce Museum. I told the bus driver I was going there and he looked at me like I was crazy. Eventually he figured out what I meant, and he told me I'm on the wrong bus. Well, darn. I got off at Daxi to transfer to the right bus. Upon getting out to the museum, I learned it was by appointment only. Oh well. It was near the other place I wanted to go, The Republic of Chocolate.

Again, I am not making this up. It's a chocolate factory / museum that for some reason is named after a style of government. It's cute, but not really worth the price tag. They were quite thorough with the history of chocolate, and if you're a kid you can do hands on stuff for free, by appointment. I think this would be incredibly cool for a field trip. They also had a silly movie full of foreigners eating chocolate and travelling through time. In addition, it made their farts smell incredible, much to the delight of the Taiwanese around them. I just have to reiterate, I am not making this up. Back to downtown Taoyuan, at long last! I wandered around the city for a bit on my way to the night market. The night market is really quite small and nothing to write home about, sans the duck burrito. Seriously Taiwan - you have burrito technology, but you only use it on duck. You are merely scratching the surface. Burritos are quite versatile, and go well with rice - I know you love that. Get your shit together.

Something interesting about Taoyuan is that it feels a lot like Hangzhou. It's dirty, crowded, industrial, and people have that "I do what I want" attitude that is missing in Taipei. I saw an old guy pissing on the sidewalk. Not really to the side of it, just kind of stopped and did it. That is the kind of attitude I miss from China, for better or worse. It's also a very diverse city, albeit mostly southeast Asia. There's a lot of Thai, Vietnam, and Filipino people and places around. It's too bad its so sprawling and hard to get around. I wish Taipei had that kind of diversity.

So cross 2 places off the list. Next week is Sun Moon Lake. I'm eager to see if it's beautiful reputation holds up.

The picture on the right has nothing to do with anything, I just think it's funny. Anywho, hope you're enjoying your snow, America. Currently sitting pretty at 71 degrees F. But actually for real, please send snow? I miss it.

My most recent journey was back to the northern part of the country to visit Jinshan, or "Gold Mountain". Jinshan is a nice, but inconvenient place pretty close to Keelung. The old street had a really eclectic mix of things, and they're known for their duck. We didn't stop to eat the duck, but it is enjoyed in a very odd manner. The kitchen where it is prepared and the dining area are about 1 block apart. So you see people trying to navigate a crowd packed shoulder-to-shoulder while carrying plates of noodles, soup, vegetables, you name it. I can't imagine how many dishes have been broken and plates spilled, but I am sure it's many.

Jinshan is also one of the areas with natural hot springs, so we wandered a bit to find some. There was a resort that had a really huge chess board outside, for some reason. Access to the springs was stupidly expensive - about $50 US per person. So instead we retraced our steps and opted for a small, mom and pop operation. While cleanliness was not it's strong suit, the $3 price tag was. And honestly, I enjoyed it a lot more. This place had character - the resort was just some generic, hotel looking place. It's the same reason why hostels are better than hotels.

While leaving I bought these dynamite cheese cracker thingies, that I brought to work the next day. They were completely devoured by coworkers and students alike. On the way back from Jinshan we stopped off at the best night market in Taiwan, at Keelung. I never tire of this place. After an oyster crepe and a chicken breast filled with cheese, we stopped to eat at a noodle stand. Now keep in mind, when you sit at Keelung you're pretty much sitting alongside a torrent of people at a table no bigger than a school desk. We're hanging out when some guy said "Hey, this place must be famous - a foreigner is eating there." No, it's not famous. I'm just hungry and they had what I wanted. Later a little kid whispered to his dad "Look, there's a foreigner!" I played around and said "A foreigner? Where?" He pointed at me, and we had a "No, you're a foreigner! No you! You!" for a bit.

Also there was a really, really big dog. I don't have a segue for this, but seriously. This is the biggest dog I've ever seen.

I made a stop up to Yuanshan again to try out that British Pub slash Mexican Restaurant. That place is stupidly overpriced and the waitress was really bitchy. She said that each person has to order a minimum of $14 US, as if to deter us. It wouldn't have been a problem with a meal and a beer, but her attitude certainly was. Cross that off the list. After there was a guy juggling a bunch of stuff, and I made a trip to Shilin night market to buy something special, which I'll get to shortly.

The final stop today was to Chang Kai Shek's House. It's 50 NT to get in (yeah, student discount!), but they don't allow photos inside for some reason. They also have the "Be Quiet Police" that the National Palace Museum does. I wonder if they share staff? Anyway it's a nice enough house, but the garden is pretty. Speaking to more Taiwanese people, it seems that nobody really likes CKS very much. I don't know why they put his face and name on everything, then. I guess because history.

So if you didn't notice it, take another look at the previous photo. I went and got glasses. Fear not, this is not because I'm getting old and my eyes are crap. It's two fold, really. For one I haven't had an eye exam since grade school. And two the National Health Insurance makes it practically free. My right eye is slightly worse than my left - farsighted, it turns out. I have a very minor adjustment on that side. The left is just regular glass. It takes some getting used to, but I've noticed people respecting me a little more, as weird as that is to say. Maybe I look smarter, now.

But yet, I still can't see why kids love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.