(spoiler free)

Dun-dun-dun-da, duhhhh! Dun-da-da-dah, dah. Dun-dun-da dah, daaah! Oh yeah, Star Wars!

Because of rampant piracy, movies tend to come out a few days earlier in Asia. Which means I got to see Star Wars a bit before everyone else, and play my Star Wars hipster card. Please. I knew all about Finn and Rey before it was cool. Which overall, it was pretty good! I mean, it's not Episodes IV, V, and VI. But still, an enjoyable movie that I will probably go see again before it leaves theaters. Certainly not quite the disappointment Episode I was. Although honestly, they could make Hello Kitty Star Wars and I'd go to see that opening night.


So in keeping with the spirit of Star Wars, they opened the Star Wars Experience on Siam Square. Basically it's not much except a giant TIE Fighter, and a big promo for the movie. There's a few models and mock-ups, some merch, and excuses to show the trailer. And of course massively overpriced popcorn. But still, it was kind of nice to see a 1/1 scale Jabba the Hutt. As nice as that can be.

Baska waki too-len mai ley! Hoo hoo hoo hoo...

Okay adventure time! As always, not too much as of late. The standard going out on the weekend, getting a beer, that sort of thing. Lately there's been some karaoke, which is always fun. Especially at the Japanese district, who are just incredibly polite, stand-up people. I was thinking though, how similar Japanese and Taiwanese are. Which is great. But as I complained in Taiwan, they are incredibly nice, and kind, but it's really hard to make friends with them. Perhaps I'm being too judgmental. But you can have a great night with someone, and then they just sort of disappear without exchanging contact information. Like at karaoke, I sat next to this super cool guy. New to the city, very friendly. Then I turn around, just to have him wave goodbye while not breaking his stride to the door. Hmpf. Ah well then!

Someone from back in the US told me they have little perspective on how much things cost there. And it really depends on what you want. If you want western stuff, pretty much the same as in the US. But, keeping in mind the average salary is probably half or less than half of a US salary. At present, $1 is about 35 Thai Baht. So, here's some prices for stuff:

Bottle of Water - 7 B
Can of cola - 10 B
Bag of chips - 10 B
Bread (half loaf) - 15 B
Eggs (dozen) - 35 B
Milk (liter) - 40 B
Beer - 35 B
Beer (bar) - 60 B
Simple cocktail - 80 B
Subway Ride - 20-45 B
Cheap Meal - 30 B
Average Restaurant - 50 B
Fancy Meal - 100 B
Western Fast Food Meal - 120-170B
Average Western Meal - 250 B
Hostel - 150-200 B

Of course, the sky can be the limit. In general I spend about 2000-2500 B a week, which includes going out for 1 or 2 decent meals and drinks on Saturday. Rent is about 4500 B a month, not including utilities. Although I'm sure some people would think I live like a pauper (What?! There isn't a subway station outside your front door?! You don't have a maid?!), it's quite comfortable for me. The real advantage is being an AirAsia hub. You can get pretty much everywhere in SE Asia for 2000 B. Can't beat that.

Now, for adventures! We recently made the trek out to Samut Prakan. Samut Prakan is an area south of Bangkok, near the Gulf of Thailand. No beaches (that I know of), it's pretty much just a suburb, albeit one I have never been to. It has two things of note: one spot is the Samut Prakan Crocodile Farm. I have heard nothing but horror stories about this place. In Asia, animal rights are like "Animal huh?" So, lots of cramped dirty cages, and you can buy chickens to throw at the crocodiles. Part of me has some sick curiosity to go see it. Maybe one day I will take the moral hit and do it. But that was not our destination today. We went to see the Ancient City, which is an odd sort of place. Some, I would assume eccentric, Thai guy decided he wanted to build a scale model of Thailand. So he did. And then made tiny replicas of the famous landmarks around Thailand. So he did. And then wanted to charge foreigners extra. So he did.

Argh, dual pricing again. If anyone has an answer for that that doesn't boil down to "racism", I'd like to hear it. Anyway, I'm at least immune to that now that I have a work permit. At 300 B it's not exactly cheap, but sort of a once-in-a-lifetime sort of deal. It's a massive place, and we spent quite a few hours there with our friend, Niece. We rode bikes and took in the (tiny) sights. I especially liked the market with homemade Thai whiskey. At 50 B a bottle, it's a steal and made the day oh so enjoyable. Overall though, nice place. It definitely has a lot to see and do, although it is kind of far to get out to. There's not much on the internet about it, I suppose because it's a whole day affair. I think this could be a pretty major tourist attraction if it was closer to the city. It's remarkably well done overall, and lets you "experience" all the sights of Thailand from the comfort of a golf cart, if you so choose.

As to be expected, Christmas is not a thing here, outside of a cash grab from expats. It always seems to surprise people when I say I don't get time off for it. I mean, in the US do you get time off for Songkran? Chinese New Year? When 99.9% of the people are Buddhist, it doesn't really have the appeal. That being said, I am a total liar and this year, I do have time off. As are the perks (perhaps the only perk) of working at a Catholic school, we get a little over a week off. Which means, I'm off to sunny, beautiful, China!

Maybe you've seen the recent news reports of Beijing being covered in smog, but I'm not going anywhere near there. In fact, the place I'm going is much closer to Thailand than it is Beijing. I'm visiting Yunan Province, not far from the border of Laos / Myanmar. Definitely off the tourist path, normally I don't think it would be somewhere people would go unless they're in the area. I'm going because that's where Ella is from, so I get a chance to see her hometown. A "small city", Qujing has roughly 2 million people. If you put that in the US, it would be the 5th largest city after Houston. In China, it's medium sized. When I lived in Hangzhou, just the district I was in was 1.1 million. The district I could bike across. So, I'm interested in how Qujing "feels", because it's so far away from Hangzhou (2000 km) and Beijing (2500 km) it may as well be another country. It will also really be a test of my Chinese ability, as her family speaks no English and I'm not expecting anyone in the city to. But on the plus side, I get to eat all the boazi I want.

Delicious, delicious boazi.

Singapore! The city-state so nice I visited it twice.

There was actually a reason for this trip though, and it was visa related. Somewhere along the chain of command my job was really dragging their feet in regards to my employment permit, and with my current visa expiring, I had to get out of the country. Due to the cheap flight in the aforementioned blog, Singapore was pretty much the best deal around. And with work chipping in (most) of the bill, how could I say no?

I could if I had known this guy on the flight had SUPER stinky feet. C'mon man. I know you could have been travelling a long time, but we live in a society here. It's only a 2 hour flight. He got in on our selfie, so if you're out there (French?) stinky feet guy, I'm sure you're alright. But like... keep your shoes on.

So Ella and I were off to Singapore for 5 days. I think we hit every place I went previously (that entry is here), plus a few more. When I was booking out hostel, I found one on sale in Little India. Turns out that was a great decision. We were in the heart of it, surrounded by amazing food for only about 30% more than a meal in Thailand. God, it just made me want to move to India. All delicious, amazing stuff. The thosai I was especially fond of, with it's sesame curry... stuff. Honestly I don't know what 80% of the stuff we ate was, except that it was a food journey my mouth is nostalgic for.

But we had business to attend to, so it was off to the Thai embassy to get a visa. However, the lady told me that they would not give me a VISA, as I have been in Thailand as a tourist waaaay too long. Truth, but usually they forget that sort of thing when money appears. She didn't budge, and would only grant me a short, transit-visa if I gave her proof of an outward ticket. So... darn? I had no choice to come back on a landing visa, and the agents at the airport did not care at all. I employed the time-honored foreigner tradition of answering "I don't know" or "I don't understand" to every question they asked. "You're too much trouble, have a visa, bada-bing bada-boom."

With Singapore being an expensive city, Ella and I planned to see it on a budget. And I'm proud to say we did not spend 1 cent on attractions except for $4 to see a museum. Which, Ella got in for $2 since she's a student. So rather than revisit the places we saw last time (and again, that expertly crafted entry is here), let's talk about the new places.






Ella has an interest in Arab culture and religious buildings, so we actually spent a lot of time hitting up churches and mosques. They ran the gambit, but the tiny little Masjid Abdul Gafoor, right around the corner from our hostel was my favorite. Very friendly, pretty place. The least favorite was the main, big mosque, the Sultan Mosque. We arrived late one night, and the man said sorry, they're doing prayers right now. But we can come back tomorrow morning to see it. So back tomorrow morning we went, and went in to look around. Then this rude fellow came out and told us the mosque was closed. The people sitting around inside suggested otherwise. I apologized and said the man last night said we could visit in the morning. He responded "He is not in charge here, I am in charge here, you must leave." Well. Okay then. Jerk. Your mosque isn't as pretty as the other one anyway.

But, I must definitely mention Haw Par Villa. This is the weirdest godamn place I may have ever been in my life. Although, Happyland in Myanmar comes close. Apparently Myanmar folks have a penchant for the weird, because this place was also a statue park set up by some Myanmar fellow. It had a bunch of bizarre stuff, like his car with a tigers head on the front. But the main star was his exhibition on the 10 layers of Chinese hell. Complete with Team-America like statues suffering all sorts of horrible fates, like their hearts being torn out, or crushed by giant stones. It was super morbid, so here's some photos.

The Art Museum has free admission on Friday, so that was also on the list. Normally not my thing, but free is my thing. The Singapore Art Museum was actually a lot better than most. The exhibitions were interesting, and not just weird for the sake of being weird. I also liked that they really showcased a lot of art from their schools there. Aside from proving that a 6 year old can draw better than I can, I really enjoyed what they came up with, and thought it was a lot more cool than like a Van Gogh or something. Did Van Gogh draw dinosaurs? Not to my knowledge. Maybe if he did he would be a lot cooler. Continuing the museum circuit, we hit up the very, very newly opened (just 2 months ago) Indian Heritage Museum. As it was so new, I never saw it on any guide but I imagine it will be soon. This was where we paid a total of $6 to get in, but it was really nice. It was full of interactive terminals, and it didn't take me long to notice that each terminal had a "kid mode" button on the bottom. Instead of reading about some Indian ship that took people to Singapore, you got to play a mini game where you had to load cargo and people. You can bet that was a lot more interesting! Well done, Singapore.





We (I) also made a point to hike Mt. Faber, the highest natural point in Singapore. It's actually not much of a hike, you can do it in about 30 minutes. I think it nearly killed Ella, though. After we went to Sentosa to swim on the beach. I think Thailand has really spoiled us. I never thought Thai beaches to be amazing, but geez they're a heck of a lot better than Sentosa. You'd think, as probably the most expensive real estate in the world, they could afford some nicer beaches. Something weird I did notice is that the water is very salty, much saltier than normal. I found it very easy to float there, so I guess it has that going for it.

Ella's student Noom suggested we rent a bike and go up East Coast park, so we did that the last day before heading to the airport. We got a bicycle built for two, and took it along Singapore's super cool Park Connectors. Basically Singapore is embarking on this project to link every green space on their island with special pedestrian/bicycle only paths. They're about half done, and it's really convenient. There's not many road crossings, and you get to see some back alleys of the Singapore outskirts. At a coffee shop we stopped at for lunch, they had "Pattaya" on the menu. Pattaya is a red-light city in Thailand near Bangkok, so I decided to try it out. It was chicken fried rice, wrapped in an omelette with sweet and sour sauce. I mean, it was good, but I have no idea why it was called Pattaya. I've never had that in Pattaya, nor ever seen that dish in Thailand. Still, right on.

And so ended the 2nd Singapore journey. I think most of the trip was spent eating to be honest. Ella and I both love Indian food, so getting our hotel there was a good decision. If you ever visit, I recommend it as well. The people are great, the food is better, and Singapore is still a wonderful city I always enjoy visiting. Speaking of food, here's a Chinese lady making some peanut cake! Which, Ella says is called "Doo doo cake". Some sense of humor, those Chinese.

I've officially become a boring person. I'm sorry. (apparently I'm also Canadian).

My days in general have been spent either working on my schoolwork, working on my work work, or some other sort of random task that rears its ugly head. I took on a project for Ella's friend to correct her thesis, which has surprisingly been an agonizingly long process. Ella's university claims their thesises (thesii?) need to adhere to APA style. I think their administrators were absent the day when they learned what APA style was. It's a weird blend of APA, MLA, and their own random nonsense thrown in. This makes it very frustrating, as every time it is submitted it comes back with some sort of error. And since they're not following APA, there's no way to really know before hand. Just kind of, keep submitting it and see what happens? Anyway, I'm pretty sure that project is done now.

We've had a few new visitors show up. Ella had a pal from China who left just as quickly as he appeared, but he did buy us Japanese curry. Which, if there's a faster way to get someone to like you, I don't know what it is. Zolta (I'm probably not spelling that right) was an odd sort of fellow, but affable enough. He worked at a bank, and loved getting pictures of banks and Thailand's multicolored ATMs. I mean hey, we all need a hobby right? I think the picture sums up his personality pretty well.

My school had a festival, which was for some random holiday I had never heard of. I was speaking to someone back home about it, and realizing I didn't know the purpose of it, googled it. The first result was my school's webpage talking about it. Right so, made up festival. Thais are good at coming up with an excuse to knock off for the day, so it seems this is as good as any. And this was no small festival. They had a haunted house that was downright terrifying. Random bloody doll parts strewn about, a student covered in red paint striking a meat cleaver on a block of wood, hands randomly jutting out of the wall and grabbing you... they really like scary stuff! Keep in mind that my school is also a grade school, so there were plenty of little kids who ran out crying. Yeah, that'll teach you kids! I'm sure there were some life scars made.

Over the weekends, we've been quite prolific at the meetups. These fun little events usually involve meeting at some sort of bar and drinking. They've been a blast, and have really opened up our circle of friends. One of my friends, Stefan, has a group on LINE (Asia's answer to Whatsapp or all those other thingies) that seems to grow in number on a regular basis. We had a night of karaoke, many nights of partying, and another trip to Koh Kret island, this time with new friend Francesco. Actually old friend for Ella, he's her student. Also a great guy, we rode bikes around the island and had many drinks at a place that will be unnamed. I was speaking with the owner about why he doesn't sell his stuff downtown. He says that Thailand's laws don't allow it, so he has to stay under the radar. So not only did we get some of the best beer in Asia (Have you ever had a Jackfruit Heffeweisen? It is delicious), we got to do it at an illegal brewery. And had $2 pizzas at the end of the day. If that's not a good day, I don't know what is.

So, future plans! Maybe the next update will be after the semester break in October. I have a bit of time off, and unfortunately have to do another, oh-my-god-I-hope-final, visa run. I found a really cheap (super cheap) flight to Singapore. It is my 2nd favorite city in the world (Whatup Taipei), so it sounds like a good place to go. And when I say cheap, I mean cheap. Less than $10. Why? Because Asia is great, and America never seems to have figured out that cheap flight stuff yet. Of course after airport fees it's not quite $10, but it's still the best deal going around.

Oh and there's this cat that is at the train station every morning. I started taking a picture of her every day, so I've amassed quite an album. Ella and I have named her Bing Bong after the Inside Out character (which, is that not the best movie ever?!)  Bing Bong is actually pretty apathetic to everything, as cats are. And I guess you especially have to be when a million people walk over you ever day. But someone is feeding her, and so she hangs around. So if you ever visit and happen to transfer at Makkasan - Petchaburi, give Bing Bong a hello. She will likely ignore you.

So as I normally do before writing these blogs, I went through my pictures to see what I did the past few weeks. The answer: not too much.

To be honest my free time has been piled high with personal errands. I've been on a sort of "Let's make sure I'm good medically" kind of spree lately, doing a series of checkups and vaccinations. Because hey, it's really cheap over here. (and sometimes free!) Not to mention visa issues, which have always been a giant pain in the ass for Thailand.

But probably the biggest occupier of my time lately is my school. Not my work school, but school school. I decided to go back to get my Masters degree, and managed to find a university in America that has a degree specifically in ESL. I had to do a lot of searching to find a university that I could afford, was able to fit my unique requirements, and a program that would benefit me. Then after all that, tracking down a paperwork trail that began 15 years ago, tax forms for grants/scholarships, you name it. Anyway that fun starts next week and should be a major part of my life for the next 1 to 1.5 years, which I'm not exactly looking forward to. But, I think a MA in ESL would look pretty good on a CV, and probably open up a lot of opportunities in Europe and other ESL markets generally off-limits to the "Do it for a year" backpacker crowd.

Speaking of jobs, I haven't spoken about my new one yet. It's an unusual sort of thing, a blend of webmaster and English teacher. Basically I have 250 or so students that maintain blogs, I give them subjects to write about, and then grade them on it. While this does mean I have to read 250 blogs a week, it's an interesting conduit into an average Thai teenager's mind. Or at least a female one, since it's an all girls school. While I really appreciated most of my students at my last job, this one really takes it up a notch. They're all extremely well behaved, and the average level of English is much higher. I've learned their opinion on government, women's rights, and GMO foods, which is something I don't even know Ella's opinions on. Plus the management is much improved, communicative, and a pleasure to work with, which is always a good thing.

So, as far as travel, I don't know how this occurred, but Ella has not been to a few places around Bangkok that I have been many times, most within my first day of arriving. For example Wat Saket, aka The Golden Mount. It was the first place I visited in Bangkok, and yet somehow she missed it. Also Wat Rakhangkhositraram Woramahavihan, because brevity is for chumps. It's a local curiosity, a wat along the river that a ton of pigeons hang out at. Which is usually a reason to avoid a place, but it's seriously a lot of godamn pigeons. So, here we are. We also managed to take a day trip up to Ayutthaya, to go around and see all those old ruins from the comfort of a motor scooter. One which I am driving legally now, thanks to renewing my American Driver's License. Anyway I've written about Ayutthaya many times, and those 700 year old ruins haven't changed in the past few months.

Maybe more interesting is that on the 5th floor of a mall in the Japanese district, Bangkok has winter. Supposedly it's meant to be a village from Hokkaido, they spread around fake snow to make a play area surrounded by cafes. It's not too large, and the snow has a snowcone sort of consistency, but it's still an amusing sort of thing that's pretty unique. Other than that we've just been being social. It seems in this past month or so, my circle of friends has really expanded in size. Saturday has been "the night" to go out and do stuff, and pretty much every Saturday has involved some sort of drinking nonsense. It's really refreshing to have a close group of friends, and I am starting to really cherish those Saturdays. In particular this most recent Saturday, was a language exchange meetup that I thoroughly enjoyed. Everyone there was super friendly and awesome, at a really cool bar, and just a pleasure to talk to.

And now you're pretty much caught up on my life. Unfortunately I think photos from travels abroad are going to be hard to come by for a while. The Thai school schedule and American one don't really line up, so getting time off from both is going to be difficult. Assuming it does happen, the two things on the list are going back to Vietnam (to do it properly), and visiting Ella's hometown in southern China. Both are quite appealing to me, and I really hope it can happen at some point. Hopefully during Songkran (April), because I do not want to be anywhere near this country when that rolls around again. Last year I ran away to Myanmar, which was a pretty great decision. Although really anywhere you can walk around without being water raped has one up on Thailand during that time.

Hey, back in Asia! Where am I again! Vietnam, right?

So let's talk about Vietnam. My home is Bien Hoa, a small town on the outskirts of Ho Chi Minh City. And when I say outskirts... wow? Even more so than Thailand, HCMC is city city city and then suddenly, like someone drew a line in the sand, suddenly not city. (Limited) Bus travel ends at 530, there are no stores aside from the mom and pop places (alright, there is a KFC but c'mon, this is Asia). Consequently getting around is pretty difficult without a personal vehicle. There are some good points though. The school looks great, and it's in walking distance. There are a number of mom and pop restaurants, serving up bowls of stuff for a pretty cheap rate. My house is more like a mansion, with a sprawling living room and kitchen, complete with a "garage"... for a motorbike.

Still, a garage. Look who's Mister 1%.

So, about HCMC. Roommate Chloe and I grabbed the bus into town, starting out at the Reunification Palace. The former home of the South Vietnamese President, the war basically ended when a tank crashed through the gate here. It's pretty much exactly the same as it was 40 years ago, complete with 70s era decor. It's like if your grandma was put in charge of interior decoration. There was also a bunker downstairs filled with old radio equipment, maps, and other random cool things. Also, the Vietnamese word for "bunker" is apparently "Ham", which made for some chuckles on the bilingual "Ham Bunker" signs.

After, it was onto the War Remnants Museum. Basically the "Hey. The Americans Were Dicks." Museum. I mean, it's like the Rape of Nanjing Museum (Actually no, nothing is as bad as that). It's a masochistic kind of curiosity, made a little more real because it's "my" country that's presented in a negative light. There was a bit of a propaganda tint to it, but that's not an excuse to make up for the fact that America messed up pretty bad there. I suppose war is never a clean affair, and you can always pick out examples to show what you want. But there are some horrible examples of "what not to do", because it's only going to cause people to hate you more. And there was a lot of that going on, especially with the chemical defoliants and their effects on the general population. And even if just 1% of the crazy preserved fetuses were caused by those chemicals, that's 1% too many. Oddly enough I didn't take any photos there, mostly because it would just be photos of photos. But there were some interesting physical things there, like some vintage military hardware and small arms.

After, it was a trip to Ben Thanh Market for some old fashioned Asian haggling. In particular I wanted some Oolong Tea, and there was no shortage. From a high of 250,000 VND ($11.50) down to 80,000, my haggling ability remains intact. Wanting to insert a bit of levity after the museum, I joked with one of the more persistent vendors I was looking for a Vietnamese wife. He pointed out this younger shopkeeper a few paces away, and they shot back and forth in Vietnamese about this crazy foreigner. At one point, a pregnant woman stood up and said "Hey! (gesturing to her baby) Buy one get one free!"

Now in fits of laughter, Chloe and I headed out to see the Post Office. An odd tourist sight, but a really impressive building across from another equally impressive Cathedral. It looks like this post office has not changed in over 100 years, but it is still active and working. There's not much more to say about it except it was like a step back in time and a pleasure to see.

Then back we went, and work orientation started. We learned about our classes, I quit my job, we found a nice coffee shop, yadda yadda.

Backing up, let me tell you about this coffee shop! Nah seriously, I quit my job and went back to Bangkok. I know this was quite a decision, and really nobody was as surprised as I was. Basically, I had a "chance" to stay in my room for 3 days straight with dodgy electricity. And instead of just browsing the internet endlessly (alright, I did do that on the first day), I uncharacteristically didn't feel like doing anything and just think. Just sit in the dark and think. And I thought about the way my life was going, and I decided it wasn't going exactly what I wanted. I think I just kept myself busy and doing stuff enough that I never let myself think. So I tried to think about the times I was happiest. Going to away to college was pretty high up there. Deciding to travel and teach was pretty high up there. Being with Ella was pretty high up there. Unfortunately I can't go back to being 20 anymore and I already left America. But maybe if I'm really lucky I could go back to being with Ella. And I got really lucky when she decided that she would take me back. And I've come back to Thailand with a fresh mind, with a new home, new job, I'm trying to shake things up to make things feel fresh. That time the taxi driver tried to steal my rice cooker? That time the taxi ran over my bike? That time that taxi driver tried to not use the meter? That time the taxi shortchanged me? That was Thailand 1.0, this is 2.0. And to top it all off, I still get to do all the things I wanted to do (live in Asia, travel the world, try new beers, sing karaoke, be an idiot), but I get to do it with my best friend. So right now, this is exactly where my travels should take me.

Hard to believe life in Thailand has come to a close. I really didn't know what to expect from this place, as I knew so little about it beforehand. Other than a place to party, or course. I think Thailand definitely has that, but living proved to be a bit of a challenge. There's a certain type of people that Thailand really meshes with, and they absolutely love it here.

To give an example, there's a show the BBC did (all available on Youtube) called "Bangkok Airport". In one of the episodes, it follows this tourist who came here and fell in love with it. He came with all his friends, and they went on a bender the night before and missed their flight. So while their friends tried to arrange a new ticket, he decides he wants a beer. He disappears, his friends get a new flight, and are forced to abandon him because it's leaving. So he tries in vain to get another one, and he does, 24 hours later. He goes back in Bangkok to party on Khao San, and takes 6 Xanax bought from a shady pharmacy. The next day, surprisingly not dead, arrives very late. He doesn't rush, he instead stops in the airport because he saw some instant noodles he wanted. He made his flight by seconds.

Now, my whole time watching this, I kept thinking "This guy is a fucking idiot", which, he is. He wasted a ton of money, time, and his health over what... one beer? But yet, this behavior is very typical of Thais, so I can see why he fit in. It has its upsides, though. The Thai lifestyle is very low stress, and aside from the ones that pop 6 Xanax, I'd guess stress related conditions are not as prevalent here. Anyway, as I've done with China and Taiwan, I'd like to talk about the not so great things about Thailand, and finish on a positive note with the things I love about this crazy place.

- Thais can be a lot like children. They can be very selfish, and tend to not think beyond the immediate. This can waste a lot of money and time down the road, which they don't seem to have an issue with.

- People are really lazy here. It's difficult to get anyone to do anything not involving sleep or playing on their phone. Even in front of you.

- This country is a lot different for a single white guy versus a couple, or girls. I'm hesitant to say racism, because that has a connotation of a dislike. Its more like, just accepted you treat x people x way. White single guys are rich people just here to get drunk and find girls, and since they're all rich, you can rip them off. I can't count how many times I've received the incorrect change (oddly never in my favor), how many taxi drivers ask to take me to some party area, or how many girls grab my arm to try and drag me to some massage parlor. This doesn't usually happen when I'm with Ella.

- They assume if you can't speak Thai you are an idiot. You'd be amazed at how differently people treat you when you open with Thai instead of English.

- Thailand, even more so than the rest of Asia, is about surface over substance. They will promote x to hell and back, but actually do no quality control or even care about what it is. They put on an appearance that they're moving mountains, yet are actually doing nothing.

- They're always late. Everything is late. They promise it will be on time. It won't be, because the driver felt like stopping to have a cigarette, or something that easily could have been prevented with foresight caught up to them.

- Jeez, Thai immigration is godamn complicated! You have to go every 90 days to "check in", which is a half day affair.

But, enough of that. Let's talk about the good things!

+ Thai food is great. It's cheap, delicious, healthy, and has raised my spice tolerance beyond imagination.

+ Heck, everything is cheap cheap! If you want to live like a king you can, but if you're a cheapskate like me, the bar can go really, really low.

+ Despite their lack of a comprehensive metro system, getting around Bangkok as well as Thailand is quite cheap and easy, albeit time consuming.

+ There is always something to do. Bangkok has so many districts with their own personality and events, or you can just jet off to some small town. They'll have a tourist office to point you in the right direction.

+ Thais believe if you're going to do something, you might as well have fun with it. They're a very silly, bold, and creative group of people, and I think we all could learn from them.

+ They never stress about anything. I've never seen an upset Thai, even in the most shitty situations.

+ Even the most rural areas have a plethora of 7-11s, ATMs and 3G mobile coverage. Rock on.

+ I'm apparently alone in this, but every police officer I've interacted with has been really cool and helpful. Even when I messed up.

+ Nothing is censored or PC. Sex, alcohol, violence, and other vices are not taboo, and even surprisingly young ones have no problem talking about it. Yet they approach it with a level of maturity befitting someone quite older than themselves.

+ Thais really love their king, and to be fair, they lucked out and got a really good one. And while the prince has some big shoes to fill, the much beloved princess has stepped in to be the new face of the royal family - who also happens to be a great person.

+ Bangkok is the best travel hub ever. They have tons of international flights, and so many low cost airlines you can travel around Asia for nothing.


And that just about wraps it up, except for the collection of favorite Thailand pics. This was a difficult one.