Ah, rabies. My old friend. But we'll come back to that.

For National Day, Ella and I decided to take a trip to a place we've always heard about, but never been. In fact, way back in Thailand-days, we were discussing where to move in China. And one of the places on that short list was Wuhan. Because we had both heard lots of nice things about it, it's pretty centrally located, it's pretty consistently warm year round, and... well, that's all I guess. So off we went to have a look.

To start, Wuhan is a city divided by the Yangtze River, and it's pretty much in the dead center of the populated parts of China. It was where the Wuchang Uprising happened, which started the downfall of the Qing Dynasty, and establishment of the Republic of China (the one now controlling Taiwan - not the mainland People's Republic of China). Other than that, it has a long history as sort of the "hub" of China, Silk Road, railroads, yadda yadda.

But what is there to do there? Well, we didn't much know ourselves, so this would be a trip of discovery. It's about a 4 hour train ride from Shanghai, and we arrived around dinner time. Our hostel was in the heart of a massive outdoor market/pedestrian area, truly the largest I've seen outside maybe Taiwan's Keelung's Temple Market. Blocks and blocks of food, shops, and more food, I don't think you need to go anywhere else to get any Chinese cuisine you want. Western though is another story, and throughout this trip I was surprised at how few western brands there are in Wuhan. And I don't mean like, White Castle, I mean like anything. There aren't even many convenience stores. It was a bit of shock coming from Guangzhou and Shanghai, where you can't walk for more than 30 seconds before passing another place to get a drink. It's more of a reminder of what I remember China to be when I first moved here, that if you don't know how to find what you want, you're going to be pretty miserable. Like, coffee. Good luck with that. But we did eat a lot, from Wuhan's famous Re Gan Mian (Hot and Dry noodles - with peanut sauce and pickled vegetables) to the not so famous Cheese and Sausage Stick (which was amazing, btw). Overall I found Wuhan's food to be really plain. Not that it isn't made well, just that their dishes tend to stick to very few ingredients, with one of them a starch of some sort. Like, brown sugar cakes - literally just a rice cake with brown sugar on it. Or Chinese donuts (you tiao). It's just fried dough. They do what they do well, but I'd prefer something with more variety.

But anyway, for the first stop we went to the Hubei Provincial Museum, which according to the internet is one of the better museums in China. Now, this is now the 3rd "one of the best" provincial museum I've been to (Guangdong and Hunan before this). I gotta say... provincial museums, I'm not feeling you. The Hunan one in Changsha was probably my favorite of the three, but nothing there blew me away. And the Guangdong one is sort of special because Ella reciprocally-proposed to me there. Hubei's... meh. They have a nice sword. I liked the sword. The coffee shop on the roof was nice. Other than that, skip it. Internet, you have lied to me.

BUT, next to the Hubei Provincial Museum is the Hubei Art Museum. The internet had glowing reviews for it, including "Not worth the 10 yuan", "Maybe stop by if you're passing, but otherwise skip it." "So-so museum". Internet. You sit on a throne of lies. The Art Museum is waaaay better than the provincial museum, and I hate art. This place had cool art. This is like, top 5 art museums I've been to, and per Ella's interest in them, I've been to a lot. I actually took pictures of art. Do you know how rare that is? Also, it wasn't 10 yuan ($1.40) to get in, it was free. So, definitely go to the Hubei Art Museum, and skip the Provincial Museum. Unless you're super into old swords, I guess. It was a nice sword. But not worth the trouble to see only that.

So, next we went to a place that could only exist in China. This mall called "City of the World" decided that they have way too much money lying around, and that it's high time they live up to their namesake. Maybe you are thinking "Oh, it's sort of like Epcot, with little touches of different regions, and samples of the world's cuisine." And you would be wrong. By "world", they mean Europe. And only a few parts of Europe, possibly because they got that far before finding out how ridiculous this is. But they managed to finish a Little Italy, Little Spain, Little France, and Little Germany. It sounded just bizarre and worthy enough to take a look. What would follow is one of the weirdest things I've seen in China. (until we go to Fake Paris near Shanghai - look for that in the future) It was the uncanny valley of western culture. It was like, 99% there, but that 1% missing just made it seem like something was... off. Maybe it was The Cathedral of the Burger King, I dunno. Then again, maybe it was the T-rex on top of the German Beer Hall. While I applaud their grand vision, the thing that sullied it was there was not a single damn foreign food restaurant in the entire place. We looked. In person, and on the internet. The closest was a super fancy French restaurant about half a kilometer away, in a mall. That German Beer House? Full of noodles, rice, stinky tofu, and milk tea. Why? I don't know. Such a missed opportunity, but then again, the fact that so much effort was put in to miss the opportunity makes it unique and special. I will miss you, weird Europe. But you probably want to see more pics, so here they are.

The Cathedral of Saint Burger

Keeping with the weirdness, another site was a temple. I know, I know. "You've seen one temple, you've seen 99% of them.", says I, many times. Well, I suppose this was the 1%. It's a Buddhist Temple that was made to look like a Christian church. Why? I don't know. I've given up on Wuhan making sense, they have this weird thing with making things look European somehow. Even the buildings in the city have a sort of European vibe to them, which they actually pull off in a way. But this temple... whew, where to begin? It was made in what looks like an old parking lot of a working class neighborhood, but there were still a fair number of people there. Mostly posing for photos. Still, it had a kind of "half done" sort of look. It is worth it for the photos, but not much else.


If you look on any travel guide of Wuhan, the #1 attraction in the city is Huang He Lou, or Yellow Crane Tower. No doubt your search will show countless images of a beautiful, ancient looking Chinese Pagoda, maybe lit up at night, looking all majestic and cool. What they don't show you is that to get that photo, they had to shoo about a million people out of a place the size of a Starbucks. In truth the $10 ticket gets you more than the tower, it gets you access to a park. oooOOOooo, a park! With tourist things to buy! And overpriced food! And well, we didn't go. I'm not entirely surprised, it being national holiday, but I've been to other Chinese pagodas before. Leifeng Tower in Hangzhou, for example. It's taller, prettier, and has a great view of West Lake. Huang He Lou has a view of the back of someone's head, most likely. But otherwise a Chinese city. Anyway, we saw it from a distance, which seems good enough. Cool architecture.

Other than that, a lot of our time in Wuhan was just checking out the city. As mentioned earlier, they have a lot of European inspired architecture. I don't know if that's a leftover from past colonial missions, or they just want to be cool, but it looks a little different from other Chinese cities. Around the cobblestone street area, there's a lot of little restaurants, and even a couple of cafes. Now several days without coffee, we stopped by one to get a very overpriced but very much needed coffee. And this is where our stupid story gets interesting. This cafe had a lot of cats. Like, six? Seven? As we were enjoying the break, one cat nearby was being very playful. So I wagged my finger around, and he decided that it was a thing to be destroyed, as cats do. I didn't notice until later, but he had actually gotten me to bleed a bit. But I just washed it out and went on with my day. Then Ella mentioned the "R" word. This had not crossed my mind, but I thought more about it, and it seemed quite ridiculous. First, I had a rabies shot 5ish years ago (stupid monkey, I will never forgive you). They supposedly last 5-10 years. But more importantly, the owner knew these cats, it wasn't really a bad cut, I washed it out, cats rarely have rabies, and it's usually from a deep bite. But it's one of those things that when you get in your head, it gets really, really hard to push the "What if... death?" out. I was reminded of the time when we had just left the house for our trip to Indonesia, and Ella said "I wonder if I closed the refrigerator door." THANKS, ELLA. But really, I'm glad she said something, just to know we're looking out for each other. Anyway, I've just been dying to use my new health insurance, so off we went to a clinic to get a rabies and tetanus shot. The poor nurse working there at night during national holiday, who was probably straight out of med school and drew the short straw, said Wuhan actually has a bit of a rabies problem now, so I guess it's for the best. Plus now I'll be all up to date, and I shouldn't need many shots this time.

BUT, here's where the story gets really dumb. First, this nurse wanted to give me one of the shots in my ass. Huh. Well, that's new. Fortunately, the clinic we were at was pretty quiet, because this trip has been full of us passing people in the street and me getting stared at, with people whispering "psst pssst foreigner psst psst" under their breath. So I am glad my butt did not become the center of attention for the 5th People's Village Clinic of Wuhan. Second, and far more destructive, is that I am under strict orders to not have zero alcohol and only light caffeine for one month. I find this instruction dubious at best. I mean, I can understand not drinking a bottle of vodka while getting the shot. But caffeine? A beer once a week? When I go to another, proper hospital for a follow up in Shanghai, I have promised Ella and myself that I will follow whatever the doctor says. Ella is so wonderful, she said she'd join me in this. Let's see how long that lasts, for our joint sanity.