This post is about one year in the making. I've added, subtracted, re-formatted, and in general modified this thing about twenty times. I'm nowhere near comfortable with it, but it'll have to be good enough. How can you possibly sum up an entire country in a few short paragraphs?

So my time in Taiwan is at a close. It's been quite a ride. I think last year in China was "The Year of Survival". I was lucky in that I had a lot of good friends, but I've never been thrown into such an unpredictable situation before. A country I knew virtually nothing about, all speaking a language I didn't understand, and starting a new job that I didn't know how to do.

Taiwan is "The Year of Self". I accomplished a lot of personal milestones this year. First of all, I made this island my bitch. It's not huge by any means, but I hit virtually every spot of interest on it. Especially Taipei, I know this city backwards and forwards - maybe even better than Cincinnati. In addition, I had a longish relationship that I didn't get bored of, which is kind of a first for me. (Hi Tiffany, you're awesome!) Lastly, I got into pretty good shape. Hiking a bunch of mountains every week will do that, but I also tried to work out... most days.

Assuming I stay in Thailand, my goal is to make it "The Year of Friends". I've been very lucky in that all of my friendships I've fallen into. That didn't happen in Taiwan - my social circle was extremely small. Part of it is just age, I suppose. In school it's easy to make friends and keep them. I need to learn how to make friends outside of a common environment, because I'm not so good at it.

But in regards to Taiwan, I'm going to try and summarize my thoughts on this country and it's people. I'd like to end on a positive note, so let's start on the negative:

• Taiwanese are less friendly, but more polite than mainland Chinese. In China, if you're doing a stupid foreigner thing, they have an attitude of "Haha, look, I have to show this crazy laowai how money works.", but they do it with a loud and playful attitude. Taiwanese will be quiet, respectful, patient, and show you exactly how to do something. But it's also not very fun.

• Taiwanese are traditional beyond reason. And when tradition and logic go up against each other, tradition will win. Basically think of a country where every urban legend or silly thing your grandma said was believed to be 100% true, and you have a Taiwanese mentality. Ghosts exist, chilly weather will actually give you a cold, rain is the most toxic substance on Earth, and eating cold things is bad for you - only because it disrupts the balance of heat in your body.

• Taiwanese tend to be very picky and inflexible. Actually, let me revise that - they are extremely picky and inflexible. Nothing can just "be". It has to have a reason, and the first option is never good enough. Want this table at a restaurant? No, only because it was presented first. Want to substitute some minor thing for another? You might as well have asked them to sacrifice their first born. Want to do this "thing not explicitly outlined in black and white in the holy handbook of whatever"? Then it is clearly impossible to do. 

• Taiwanese are gullible. They really go for "popular thing" just because it's popular. Advertising seems really, really effective here. They will go to the longest line because obviously, that's the best. It's endearing at first, but really gets kind of annoying after a while. It's kind of a circle, in that the more popular something is the more popular it gets. 

• Bus drivers in Taiwan are, almost without exception, complete and utter assholes. I've met very few that did not have a chip on their shoulder, and question how ye mere mortals dare speak to the king of the 235 to Xinzhuang.

• I've spoken before about their assbackwards trash system, but for god sakes, there has to be a better way than to schedule your life around throwing a bag into a truck. Maybe have a designated place you can take it? I don't even care if it's far away, I'd go.

• Everyone is really, REALLY sour, pessimistic, and has a downright dislike for their government and president. I'm not saying any other country is perfect, and I'm sure Taiwan's isn't the best in the world, but they're not murdering kittens as far as I know.

Right, now after that spout of negativity, lets move onto the positive things:

• Taiwanese are tough. Like, they don't take shit from anyone. Maybe because of its unique political situation, they're much more self sufficient than most other places I've been to. If you look on the back of a lot of stuff, it will say made in Taiwan. They could maybe import it, but instead they chose to make it themselves. It's strange, but regular everyday things have their own unique "Taiwanness". In the west, everything is just made by the millions at some factory in China. They're home grown here, which I think should be a point of pride.

• Their healthcare is absolutely, positively, amazing. Granted I was always kind of a supporter of socialized medicine, but now I'm a fanatic. It works so much better, I can't even imagine going back to how it is in America. If you get sick, you just go. There's no worries. There's no hassle. Everyone has a card that has all their medical records on it, standardized, everywhere. It's balls to the wall awesome, and the tax taken out of my check is a paltry amount.

• Taiwanese are much more "in tune" with nature and their past than any other country I've been to. There are lots of parks around Taipei, and people actually use them. Big construction projects will be delayed, or even abandoned, because something of historical significance was found. They even make the trains run slow in one particular area because residents complained about the noise. This level of care just doesn't happen in the mainland.

• Everyone who is working tends to be very polite and seems to enjoy their job (well, minus bus drivers). There's not really anyone that I interacted with that "phoned it in", or tried to give the least amount of service possible. They work hard, really hard, maybe more than any other country I've visited. They're not happy until you're happy, which can happen in the west, but here it's the rule and not the exception.

• Night markets. Oh my god. They're wonderful, and the only way you can get 10000 shops in the size of a bedroom. I heard Thailand has this culture as well, and I love it oh so much. Such a variety of food, with all different ingredients and styles - I will miss the cuisine most of all from Taiwan.

• You don't have to worry about getting scammed. I do sometimes miss the banter of haggling, but here, the price is fair - always.

• Taiwan's, and especially Taipei's, transportation system is dope. The subway, bus, rental bikes (which are totally free for the first 30 minutes), they're all connected with one rechargeable card, and the city has a mobile app that lets you see where the trains/buses/bikes are in real time. Although I wish the damn thing wouldn't shut down at midnight, even in my 1 year here, they've expanded everything quite a bit.

• Mobile internet is 3G coverage, island wide for pennies. There is public wifi everywhere. Get your shit together, rest of the world.

• The whole 24 hour convenience store culture is great. I never imagined a 7-11 would have everything I'd ever need in the world, but it does.

• Every time you buy something, you get a receipt. The government does a lottery every 2 months with receipt numbers, and it's not uncommon to win $200 NT for matching some of the numbers. This is a lot of fun, and I won 4 times during my year here. ($25, for free!)

Whew. I said a long time ago how Taiwanese and mainlanders are 95% the same. I don't really think that's true anymore. They are very similar, more than they'd like to admit. Whatever percentage they are the same, is the percentage I like. And whatever fraction is leftover, they do a lot with it. While it would be great if Taiwan and China were reunited one day, they don't need to. Taiwan is doing just fine on their own, and they've got their house in order. If anything, the rest of the world could learn from them.

I'll miss you guys.

"Hello! Welcome to Fuying Eco Park!"

"Err... thank you!"

These words greeted me from a very enthusiastic old man just hanging out at the park entrance. With only two days left, I had a day off to enjoy Taipei one last time. I went to Fuying Eco Park, a place I only recently heard of but never had a chance to go to. It's not terribly big, but is also on the other side of the city - a perfect excuse to get out one last time.

I launched into a conversation with the friendly old guy, Nelson, that lasted quite a while. At some point my new friend, was talking about some rare bird the park had. He volunteered to show me around, which sounded good to me. So we walked through this park for a bit, and he really played up the tour guide role. Telling me about this plant and that animal. Turns out he comes here every day to exercise. Jesus christ, old asian men... why do you have to be so much better at retirement than everyone else?

I asked him if there are any mountains around, and he said he didn't know. I looked online and found I was kind of close to Xizikou, a place I have been, but it's been a long time. I don't really think there was a trail that goes there from where I was, but after stumbling through some guys backyard garden I did manage to find one. Seeing as how it was midday on a Tuesday, I pretty much had the place to myself. I snapped this last selfie with the 101 at the top.

Now back home, I still have a lot of cleaning and packing to do. It's been a fun ride, this year. I've been saying goodbye to all my classes and getting pictures with them. My private student in particular, showed up again a few hours after his class ended, crying his eyes out. He said he forgot to say goodbye and thought he'd never see me again.

Awww.

He also gave me a super nice pair of sunglasses as a going away gift, as Thailand is very sunny. I feel a little nervous with them, as I have a bad track record of breaking/losing sunglasses.

And without any sort of decent segue, here are a few of my favorite pictures over my past year here. Thailand, here I come!

My first week here - a completely empty MRT

Bailuse Mountain, the first one I ever did

Zhongyang Mountain, and the best picture I think I've taken

Cats have taken over the ATM at Shifen

The always entertaining Modern Toilet Restaurant

The best balloon show ever, in Taidong

Conquering Qixing Mountain

Dan and I are very serious

Elephant Mountain

Tiffany and I are very serious people

Crazy busy week was also my week of goodbyes. After the weekend of silliness with James and crew, I was to meet Kenny, Miranda, and son Seven during their visit from China. They arrived in the afternoon, which left me the morning of Tuesday to come up with... whatever. There was one thing I had always meant to do in Taipei, to explore this part of town no MRT goes to, and that I had never been to before. I decided to do it by bike, but there are no bike rental stations anywhere near there. So I went to the furthest station out and started from there. That means this was not a short trip. I mean, it's not grueling by any means, but it probably took about two hours. And I'm sorry to report, but that part of town is pretty boring aside from one kind of nice park and this weird bird. I pulled up next to him at a stoplight, and he made this weird, click/squawk hybrid noise at me. I assume it meant something offensive, and I was insulted.

I was almost done when I got a call from the mainlanders to let me know they had arrived. I met them in Ximen, where their hotel was. After checking in, it was out to the always hilarious Modern Toilet restaurant. Seven seemed to think it was funny. Actually, I did too. A quick walk around Ximen, and then it was off for a farewell tour to Maokong. Maokong is my favorite place in the city, so I was glad to give it one last send off. Despite some rain, we managed to get some great views. I also got to enjoy my honey tea with a view of the skyline. On the way back we stopped at Zhinan Temple, and then to Shilin Night Market. I said goodbye to coffin toast, oyster omelettes, and hopefully goodbye to Taiwan Beer. God, maybe its lack of perspective but I'm starting to consider Coors Light to be the superior beer. I've had several Singha's lately, and they are so infinitely better. I'm looking forward to Thailand's beer - no matter what they have it'll be better. I'm 100% sure, because the only way to go from Taiwan beer is up.

Thursday I had some time before work, so I met up with James, Hashi, and Martin in Beitou, to hit up the hot springs. For lunch we went to this noodle shop, and Martin decided what they were to eat by closing his eyes and pointing at a menu. He landed on 1000 year old eggs. 1000 year old eggs are kinda gross. While not 1000 years, they are old fermented eggs. I have to wonder who came up with the process to make things like kimchi, and this.

"Hey man - this egg is fine, but you know what would make it better?"

"Nah dude, what's that?"

"If we put it in a clay pot, and bury it underground for a week."

"That's literally the best idea I've ever heard."

My life has been a little dull lately, so this sort of menu selecting silliness was something I've missed lately. James especially has an attitude of "everything is amazing", which is easy to get when you travel, I think. But it's something I've lost just by getting used to things when living here. I am hoping to glean some inspiration from him, and feel the same when I get to Thailand.

Anyway it was a little chilly that day, so the water felt amazing. The hottest also seemed especially hot that day, so we limited our time there to only 1 or 2 minutes. The thing I love about Beitou is that for the rest of the day, you have this feeling in your chest. Kind of like an airy, refreshing feeling. Or at least I have it. Maybe it's the heat. Maybe it's poisonous sulfur gas. I like it anyway. I had to run to work, but goodbye, James, Hashi, and Martin.

Back to the weekend, the Zhang family just made it back Kending, the Hawaii-like resort area on the southern coast. April came along, and we met them at Taipei Station to get some grub at one of the Japanese Hibachi restaurants there. We had a detour to a store that turned out to not be open, but I got to give them a proper goodbye. Thanks for visiting, guys. I wish I had more time to spend with you. And I'll see you in Bangkok.

The next day April and I went out to see Treasure Hill. Treasure Hill is a weird place. It was built for former soldiers who fled China, as thanks from CKS. There's not too many of them around anymore, so it's been converted into a weird, live-in artist kind of village. We wrote messages on straws they hang around, and in general just looked at all the weird, kitchy things around. (sigh) I really don't get art. After a rest and a walk by the Taipei Water Park (which is still closed - seriously Taipei, it's pretty hot out, despite that it's technically winter), we went to the Hakka Culture Park. It's a very pretty park, but nothing special.

After getting back home, the real excitement began. They had closed off a street near my house for god knows what. Apparently god does know, because it was some sort of religious parade. It involved 9 foot tall demon things dancing around with music. Which, is all well and good. They also had something a bit more bizarre. I've always thought Eastern religions make far more sense than Western ones - they're less in-your-face, fire-and-brimstoney. I compare it to a spa. You go when you have problems. No problems, don't go. No worries. This opinion was challenged, as the point of this ceremony was for a guy to be held down by his friends. Then some guy drank water and spit it at him a bunch. Then some lit incense was pushed against him. Then finally he got a spiky stick and hit himself in the head a bunch. Then he got to dance around and shout, with blood pouring from his head.

Asia, I'm revoking the "Your religion makes sense" award. I am sealing it away, and I'll give it to one with less spiky sticks.

Thailand countdown: 5 days

I went out with James and friends again this weekend, and we were discussing life as a foreigner in an Asian country. One commented that when he sees another foreigner, there's almost like this instant kinship. He described it as "Someone you went to high school with, but didn't really know that well." I think that's incredibly accurate. It's this instant connection, bordering on friendship and acquaintance. As far as just life in general, someone coined the term "foreigner privilege", which I quite like.

Foreigner privilege is interesting. I commented on it a long time ago, when I was getting my Taiwanese Visa. Basically, when the immigration officer guy was asking me a bunch of questions, I really didn't want to deal with it and just wanted the thing done. So I pretended to not understand. And a few months ago, when my MRT card broke, I knew they were asking me what station I got on at to charge me accordingly. I chose to not understand, and boom, free pass. Or perhaps in Shaoxing, when your friend tells you to just look like you know where you're going and walk right past the ticket booth for a museum. These are things no local can get away with. It really is a privilege we have, that the locals say "I don't want to deal with this headache, just go about your business." It's something I certainly enjoy for the amusing stories, but also sometimes feel a little guilty about.

Sometimes.

Anyway this foreigner privilege was in effect again, as I got on the local news. No interview like there was a few months ago, but I went to 7 to pick up some water. While there, they asked me if I saw the big crowd on my way in. I said no, and they gesture across the plaza to some coffee shop that just opened. It's "Eastern Style Coffee", which I assume means Asia / Eastern Europe. Apparently for them it's 1970s America. The place is filled with models of old cars, and kitchy vintage American things. They also rented a bunch of really flashy sports cars to be out front, as well as 4 "American" models to show off the place. Looking at the models, they definitely were not American. They looked Russian or Eastern European, but I doubt anyone there could tell or care. A few locals wanted pictures with me, assuming I was part of the show. One of the bosses even told me to go over by the door, thinking I worked there. I was checking out the cars when the news camera swung in my direction to get a shot of me in the background of the local report. I might've stuck around, but I had to meet my friends and didn't want to be late.

Backing up to the night before, I was to meet James and his friends for dinner and head out to a local bar. April was coming with, and on the train there was this guy giving me the eye. After we got off, he ran up to me and in excellent English, asked me where Taipei Station was. I said we're on our way there, so feel free to come along. His name was Stephen, and was from the same district as I was - Xinzhuang. Stephen was a bit of an odd fellow, telling me how he loves English and American culture very much, while playing music on his tablet that he fancied. I guess I should be flattered, and I was, but not because he adored the culture I dislike so much. Rather, that a local actually was willing to talk in a public place. I really don't like how quiet Taiwanese are on public transport, so it was very refreshing. Funnily enough, he didn't give April the light of day. He seemed to stick to me like glue, eager to show off his Celine Dion collection. If he wasn't so "in your face", I would've wanted to Facebook him. But, nice enough anyway.

Back at Taipei Station, James and his friends were running a bit (read: extremely) late, and he called and wondered if April and I wanted to meet his friend and go to dinner before them. Why not? Kristen is Korean, currently studying in Taipei. After a lot of telephone tag, we eventually met up with this stranger and had dinner at the Main Station. She's incredibly nice, and surprisingly talkative for someone who just met this weird foreigner minutes before. While eating James and his friends, Martin and Hashi, met up with us. After that, it was off to the bar I was at last week. It sounds depressing, but that place never gets old. Everyone is really awesome and talkative, and gives me hope for Taiwanese shyness - apparently you just need to get some alcohol in them.

The next day everyone, plus new friend Michael, saddled up to go to Tamshui for the day. For me, I was super excited to get my curry corn. James was on a mission to find some high school where some Jay Chou movie was held. After much wandering around this high school, we did find it. As someone who has never seen the movie, I felt incredibly confused. But at least one classroom was unlocked, so we got to play around in that. We did the typical sights of Fort San Domingo, the Fisherman's Wharf, ate a giant chicken steak, and took a boat back to Tanshui - stuff I've written about before. After that, we went to Longshan Temple to check out the snake dishes. Deeeelicious. We actually didn't eat them because they're extremely expensive. But while Michael left us, we picked up two more friends - Louis and Ada. It turns out Ada is pretty much my next door neighbor, which was amusing. I also found her Chinese incredibly easy to understand. She probably went easy on me, but still, I was able to hold a coherent conversation with her. Thank you, Ada. We ducked back to the always impressive Ximen, and then to the always interesting Snow King Ice Cream shop. The beer ice cream was ordered again this time, along with banana, guava, and papaya flavors. Although a little expensive, you'd be hard pressed to find a more unique ice cream shop anywhere in the world. Ada left us after, and the rest went to some of the bars in Ximen for some drinks. We all had to go our different directions after, but it was an interesting day to say the least.

As if it wasn't already clear, I did make it back to Taiwan after my Philippines excursion. I had an interesting encounter in the airport, and met the first Australian I have ever disliked. We were both sitting next to an electrical outlet, and were talking about our trip. He asked me,

"Ah, did you take this private boat ride up the river?"

"No, I didn't get a chance to do that."

"It was only 6000 pesos mate, you really missed out."

"(laughs) That was pretty much my budget for a week."

"You're underfunded then! C'mon, you might as well not have come at all. You've gotta spend money when you go abroad. I'm popping over to Taiwan just to meet my friend for a drink in Tainan - money is no object between friends. After, I'm heading over to Tokyo to stay in my private penthouse for a few weeks."


Well, la-de-fricking-da. Asshole. Anyway I had my small bit of revenge. After coming back, the line to immigration was super long. But the line for Taiwanese citizens/residents was virtually empty. I got to walk past asshole Australian guy, flash my ID, and was out of the airport in 15 minutes. Suckers.

So, back in the swing of things, I just had to work a few days before the weekend. I was invited to a party by one of the people I met in the hostel back in Manila - at a Lord of the Rings themed bar, if you can believe it. It's a sort of party/language exchange, and as one of the few foreigners there, I received quite a bit of attention. So, I had fun. Unfortunately having to catch a cab back alone was a bit expensive, so I'll try to share or leave earlier next time.

And the "people I met in Manila that are now in Taipei" party didn't stop there. A few days later, my pal James arrived. Myself, him, and April went out to Shulin Night Market for some good eats. Oyster Omelette, Lu Rou Fan, Coffin Bread, and stinky tofu. Oh god, why. He shared my dislike for this substance they try to pass off as food.

After Shulin, we started to head back. Yuanshan is hosting the lantern festival this year, so we stopped there to see the overly elaborate, amazing lanterns made by "Elementary School Students". I put that in quotes because I call shenanigans. There is no way kids made that stuff. The highlight for me was a giant Gundam, that every 30 minutes opened it's chest and had a panda inside. I barely snapped the pic before it closed - I was running, so it's a touch blurry. Oh Asia... you crack me up.







RIGHT, and now comes the part where I point out how stupidly busy I am this month. I finally got my Thai Visa after much headache. Applying is a snap, but you can only collect it from 4-5pm M-F. Why? Does pulling a small book out of a drawer take so much effort, you must limit the time you are available to do it? Anyway April was kind enough to retrieve it for me in exchange for fixing her computer. Every time I work on a laptop, I swear this is the last time I will ever do it. I'm putting it in writing now. Don't ever take apart a laptop again, Weg. It's annoying and nerve wracking. The stress-filled fun continues after that - my Chinese teacher and friend from the mainland, is coming in a mere 3 days with his family. Furthermore, I have to finish negotiating the terms of my contract (loooong, annoying story), get my landlady to give me my deposit back (which is harder than it should be), reduce everything I own in the world to the size of a suitcase, and figure out a way to get my money out of a Taiwanese bank to a bank that actually works with the rest of the world. On top of showing two different groups of friends around town, in the span of two weeks. So, next blog entry... who knows?

Please kill me.

I'm really wanting to finish all these Philippine blogs, so this one is a bit lengthy.

With nothing to do, I thought today could be a museum day. For funsies I took the PNR train, the Philippine version of Taiwan's TRA to see some monument and the President's house. The monument is some shitty plaque in a shitty neighborhood, so, moving on. The President's House is in a walled part of the city that is filled with Chinese people. You even had to walk past security guards to get inside. Why do they get special treatment? Ya got me. I had Niu rou mian at some little roadside shop. I asked the people working if they get tourists here, and they said I'm the first. So lucky! Anyway as expected the President's house is big and fancy. I asked the soldier at the gate if I could go inside, or they have tours, or something. He said no, and please don't take pictures. By his attitude he seemed to imply I shouldn't be there, so I made my exit. But not before sneaking this highly illegal picture. Shhh!

The super roomy metro system

I took the metro back to Intramuros to visit one museum I haven't yet, about Chinese Filipino Relations. It was fine, but strangely comforting seeing lots of Chinese writing. I overheard some foreigners talking about how they don't see how its possible to read Chinese - it's all nonsense. Well, the jokes on them! I can read it well enough to know that it is, in fact, 90% nonsense! Anyway with nothing of note I went to Ayala for yet another museum.

Ayala completely changed my opinion of Manila. I used to think the whole city was a slum. Now I know just 70% is. I kid, but this is the most visibly impoverished place I've been to. Granted North Korea was probably worse, but police states do at least keep the streets clean. It's really distressing to see children playing in trash, buildings made of sheet metal, and kids wearing rags following you with their hands out. For a nation that's 90% Christian, they're doing a pretty lousy job of it. I know correlation does not imply causation, but I was thinking that a lot of the poorer countries of the world (Africa, South America) are very religious, while the atheist ones tend to be richer (Europe, Asia). I wonder if that's because poor people are attracted to Christianity, or vice-versa? Anyway there are certainly exceptions to this but it was interesting nonetheless. Speaking of correlation, this rich part of town had so many foreigners! I wonder if there's a relationship there? Anywho the Ayala Museum was pretty awesome, and I learned quite a bit about the history of the country. The Americans were kind of jerks, but in the grand scheme of the world prior to WWII, it could've been a lot worse. Not that I'm wanting to make excuses, but seriously, other countries were much bigger jerks.

After the museum it was getting kind of late, and I was to meet Che and her friends for dinner in some fancy mall. So I popped on over a few stations to the marvelous Shangrila Mall. One in Che's friends in particular, Alfred, was incredibly friendly and answered all my stupid foreigner questions. Also, wow, Filipinos like to eat a lot. Sure every culture does, but they really stuff themselves. After dinner we piled into a cab and went to the art show I was talking about last time I met with her.

The art thing was weird. In fact, if you type "experimental art" into Google, it should say "Did you mean 'godamn weird'?" It was various pictures of a school gymnasium, and then the same ones at different angles. All using old reel film because it's "cool", I guess. I was about to succumb to my fate of boredom but then suddenly, whiskey and beer appeared! Hooray! At the makeshift bar I met an American from Vermont who's been living here for years. Funny how the Americans were the only ones seriously drinking. We hit it off pretty well and were chatting up a storm until the host said "Hey white people, shut up." God, if I had a nickel for every time I heard that!

After the art show Che and her friends were turning in. It was only 10ish, so I wasn't done just yet. I had heard about midget boxing in a place nearby the hostel. Even if I were to go out alone, I thought I cannot leave this country without seeing that. My friends were very kind to see me get into a jeepney, convinced I was drunk after some whiskey and beer. I definitely was not, and managed to make my way to this bar no problem. After walking in, I was immediately ambushed by girls. I thought this was funny, because let's get real, I'm not that handsome. Knowing full well what they are there for one and I talked for a while, and I was curious about what sort of life they live. She did not spare any details, which I thought was an interesting perspective on daily life for one employed in that profession. Unfortunately I didn't really have an exit from the conversation. I was considering using the restroom and never returning, but fortunately some guys from the hostel showed up and I was able to make an escape. So yeah, midget boxing. Check.

After bouncing to a few bars, we turned in. The next day myself and 3 others I met in the morning headed out to spend the day together. One of them, Kai, is a Japanese guy living in Taipei. Really fun, so hopefully we'll meet again there. We were talking about what to do, and they really wanted to see some cockfights. (Sigh) Here we go again. They do things much more elaborately in the city than in the village I was at. Hell, they even have their own stadium with refreshments, ready rooms etc. We got to see the rooster hospital (wow, lot of blood), and I learned how the cock fighting system works. Also I won money. Yes, I shouldn't support it. But god, the few dollars I won is the smallest drop in the bucket. I saw people throwing down money equal to a month's salary like it's nothing. And plus, by winning, I took money out of the system, right? RIGHT? Anyway, my tradition of "coming out ahead through illicit gambling while abroad" started in North Korea continues unblemished.

We stopped back at the hostel to change and see where to go next. There, we met a girl coming though on her way to Chicago. We took a suggestion from a local and went to the Mall of Asia - this massive mall on the coast of Manila Bay, the X biggest in the world. We had Mediterranean food and went up the ferris wheel. It was near sunset, when I found, finally, balut on an oceanside stall. Yes, balut - the aborted chicken fetus snack you just can't say no to. (Hint: You can definitely say no to it.) It was... ok. Not disgusting, but not delicious either. Kind of like a hard, meaty egg. Anyway, check.

There was a restaurant on the shore doing pitchers of cocktails for next to nothing, so we all chilled out and drank as the sun went down - a perfect end for the last full day in Manila. Back to the hostel again, the party continued. Kai eventually couldn't even stand up, and passed out somewhere. The rest of us went out to a reggae bar, where they were frying up some local things on skewers. I'm sure one was intestine, and the other... no idea what animal it was or where its from. The music was fine, but I was already on fumes from the night before - so I went back.

Now my last day in the Philippines, there was nothing I wanted to see. I had heard you can get some cheap clothing at Goodwill type of stores, and I walked around until I eventually found one. Although it was pretty cheap, it's honestly on par with what you would pay at Goodwill in the States. I know I shouldn't complain, but considering the average wage here I thought it would be a little better. Anyway, I got some new clothes. I had some time to kill before heading to the airport, so I just chilled in an internet cafe for a few hours before popping back to Taipei.

Whew! What a trip - I think I consumed as much alcohol in a week than I did in 1 year in Taiwan. Anyway, my thoughts on the Philippines are as follows: Manila is a crowded, dirty place that needs to go a long way to become a world class city. While it does have parts that are nice, soooo much of it is slum. I was told to avoid the slummy parts before going. That's like telling you to avoid 7-11s in Taiwan - in-fracking-possible. The whole time I was thinking, you remember the terrible Super Mario Bros. movie? Manila reminds me of the city in that. While the jeepney system works surprisingly well, the traffic is too extensive to have them really move along at a rate necessary for public transportation. Also, the metro is bonkers. If you want to change lines, you literally have to exit a station, go back into the one next door, buy another ticket, and go through another security check. However, having said all those negative things, the Philippine people are the nicest, hands down, people I have ever met while travelling. No exaggeration. Hearing "sir" all the time did not get old, and there was a consistent sincerity to it that was very cool. And although all the police were useless for stopping any sort of security threat, they were all completely awesome. Every one I talked to (which was a lot), was happy to help me out, and did it with a smile. And I'm glad I got out of the city a little, even though I don't really care for beaches or nature. So if you're like me, the Philippines is probably not the best place to go. However I think if you do enjoy that sort of thing, and stay in some beach house with some friends, it would be an amazing time. Several of the locals cited proudly that they have 7000 some islands, all giving the exact number. While I know it's impossible to visit them all, if the people on them are as nice as they are on Luzon, it's worth trying.

Combined day... 3? And 4? In Manila. It kind of bled into one.

So at the hostel the previous night I met James. James is a Korean American in Manila for just 1 day, and was "from Kentucky". Despite him being a UofL bastard, we headed out together.

Since it's the start of Chinese New Year, we went off to a much livelier Chinatown. It was a massive night market, basically. I bought some clothes, and we just kind of went around looking at stuff. At some point we went into a church for some photos. On the way out a lady said we couldn't take photos. Since we were done, we said thanks and were on our way.

Afterwards was another trip to Intramuros, but seeing as how it was afternoon, a lot of stuff I couldn't do, I now could. We got a tricycle tour thing of the area, agreeing to 150 pesos. Along the way, the guy was very informative, funny, and patient. I was going to give him 200. Then he said it was actually 150 for every half hour. Since this was the first we had heard of this, we told him to get bent. He got frustrated, refused to accept anything and started to leave. I threw the 200 in his seat, and then, we went on our way. As you do.


Now dinnertime, we were going to head back for dinner, and who knows what. Manila is one of the few cities in the world that I don't really feel comfortable in after night. I'm not really worried about violent crime, but with so many people, I'm sure I would have something stolen at some point. In fact, several people at the hostel have gotten pickpocketed so far - except me, knock on wood. Anyway we were going to take the LRT, but NOPE. I have never seen a line that long for public transportation in my life. Maybe an hour, just to buy a ticket? And god help you if you want to get on the train. James told me he actually has to meet a friend at the airport in 45 minutes. I chuckled at the absurdity of that possibility. But we found a jeepney heading back in the right direction! It was packed to the brim. James got a seat, but I had to hang off the back like a garbage truck. Totally safe. Not having any idea how the fare system works, our jeepney friend Alex took care of it. Thanks Alex! I jumped off at the hostel, while James took it closer to the airport. I got some local food and settled in for the night. It was Chinese New Year, so we all gathered on the roof to watch fireworks. I finally passed out around 3.

The next day, a bunch of us were to go climb Taal Volcano. I just had to wake up at 530. So after a wonderful 2.5 hours of sleep, we piled into a van for a 3 hour drive. At least I got some sleep on the way there. After arriving, we got onto a boat for 30 minutes. Also, our boat captain was a boy about 7 years old named Jay. You could tell that this was not a normal day for him. He tried to be cool about it, but if you snuck a peak he was so totally pumped to be driving a boat. I mean, I can't blame him, I would be too. He was a total pro though. The other 2 boats got drenched, whereas we didn't have a drop. I made it a point to rub it in how much better our captain was.

So on the other side, we get to a native village on the side of this volcano. The entire ground was covered in fine ash. Even some 24 hours later, I still find this ash in places I didn't know I had. We met our guide there, and hiked for about an hour before making it to the top. It's actually a volcano inside a lake inside an island inside lake. (Volcanoception!) We were enjoying the view, when I saw a lady walking up to us carrying a golf club and balls. My face turned to one of pure joy. This is actually happening. I didn't even haggle, even though it was a paltry 50 pesos per ball. I wanted to waste no time before getting to hit golf balls into a godamn active volcano. A few people were hesitant, when a Scot in our group delcared he refuses to let anyone leave this mountain before letting them experience a once-in-a-lifetime chance of hitting a ball into a volcano. I agree. Also, I threw a rock and peed into the volcano. 3 bucket list items I didn't know I had, check.

Back down the volcano, and back on the boat, we landed when there was a ruckus of people a ways away. Curious, a few of us wandered over to find a makeshift stadium, and a 100% genuine cockfight. The driver asked us if we wanted to see. Definitely do. A guy inside that I sat next to asked if we wanted to bet, but I didn't know how long we'd be there, or even how things worked. Although culturally interesting, cockfights are brutal, and I totally understand why people are and should be against them. The birds were coaxed into fighting each other, and had big knives on their legs. One fight ended when they each could no longer stand. Another ended far more quickly and decisively. We were only there about 10 minutes, but this was not my only experience with Manila cockfights - more on that next time.

Back to the beach, we stopped at this seaside restaurant for an amazing BBQ lunch and sightseeing. The lunch was pork, otherwise I'd assume we were eating a former champion. After lunch we took the van to the top of another hill to get a view of the lake. The park was really touristy, crowded, and not worth the time. Still, got a few photos.

Everyone was proper exhausted by now, and we started the drive back. I really just wanted to sleep, and everyone else felt the same. At some point, these two German girls in the front passed out. Our guide passed a note around that said "Let's count to three, then all scream at the same time." He started recording a video, and did the countdown. The girls woke up screaming, freaked out as could be. Anyway, that's my new favorite game to play in the car. We actually got another guy with it as well about an hour later.

Back at the hostel, some people were heading out to the bars, but I was in no condition to do that. I went out and got a burrito, and had a few drinks. I passed out early, and here I am again Saturday morning - ready to head out, just with no idea where. And I like it that way.

After my first day of being a little sour on Manilla, I'm beginning to dig it more.

First off, Taglish is weird. It sounds a little like Taiwanese, but that doesn't make it any more distinguishable to me. It's the odd English words or phrases thrown in that stand out, along with the Spanish sounding ones. I heard today "Bakadali yo kye `wheres the map` kyet bing?" Of course I'm substituting nonsense, and probably even being offensive - but its a very odd language to hear for me. And the food... wow. I've only heard negative things about Philippine cuisine. Everyone who said these negative things are wrong. The only downside I can see is that it is incredibly unhealthy. Of course, that also mean it tastes godamn amazing. In the battle of "Healthy - Delicious - Cheap", they have chosen delicious and cheap. I got a BBQ Chicken and Mushroom pizza slice for 20 pesos. That's like 50 cents. Ya know what one large pizza (slightly bigger than a small in the States) costs in Taipei? 300-400 NT ($10-$13). It's a ripoff for just bread, cheese, and tomatoes. The Philippines are doing food right, minus the heart conditions.

Anyway, rant over. Today I set out to Quezon City to meet with Jesse's coworker, as weird as that sounds. Che met me at an Applebees of Filipino food kind of place. I had something called Sisig, which is diced meat, peppers, and mayo over rice. It's pretty ballin. She answered a lot of stupid foreigner questions I had, and mentioned something she was doing on Saturday. I asked if I could join, which felt kind of rude but honestly I've got nothing to do while I'm here.

We parted ways and I set out to explore Quezon. Per Che`s suggestion I checked out a place called Expo, but it was dead on a Wednesday afternoon. I looked on my map, and saw a big circle road and a park. I decided I'm going there. It took about an hour to walk, but was actually pretty cool. Its the burial place of Mr. Quezon, along with his summer home. A very nice lady gave me a private tour, and loaded me up with maps of things to do in Metro Manila. Which actually, sidebar, people are super polite here, even more than in Taiwan or Japan. They call everyone "sir", say "excuse me" like it's going out of style, are always outgoing, and eager to please. Maybe because I'm the token white guy, but I don't care. The police specifically, have been ridiculously helpful in helping me navigate around. And it just so happened the part of town I was in had something I had wanted for a while. It was the only thing I saw on the internet before coming. The one, the only...





Taco Bell.

You laugh, but i haven't had a good taco since last Christmas. It was actually pretty expensive (200 pesos for my meal - $5 US?). But compared to 5 peso chicken and 20 peso pizza, it felt expensive. Don't care, had tacos. Also, when they called my name for the order they called for a "Bike". Is Mike really that weird?

Back at the hostel now, I have again, no idea what to do tomorrow. I'm feeling more optimistic about my time here though. After all the walking I did today, I need a beer. Fortunately San Miguel is so cheap, they might as well be giving it away.

Hello Manilla.

I'm declaring the first day a do over, because I have forgotten how to travel outside of a Chinese country. First, I arrived at 3:30am. The flight was only about 2 hours, and I managed to sleep for about an hour of it. I thought it was silly to waste money on a hotel the first night, so I slept in the airport. Surprisingly well, on a concrete window sill. Normally I'd think this was weird, that people could see a sleeping guy in the window when coming to the airport. But it was the only sill NOT occupied by some weary traveler. If anything, it'd be more weird not to.

With maybe 2 hours more sleep, I set out at 7am. I got approached by a flood of taxi drivers outside the airport. Love it! I went for the bus and connected to the metro. Manila's metro is crazy. It's like the stations are flowing rivers of people, and you have to find the correct stream. It you don't, god help you. Shoulder to shoulder shuffling is the name of the game. I had no destination in mind, so I thought it would be funny to start in Chinatown.

Chinatown is not lively at 8am, so I want to go back. But it gave me my first taste of Manila - more on that later. Also, none of the ATMs would accept my card. It was fine at first, but then that turned to worry. I only had about $80 US that I converted from Taiwan to Pesos. Eventually, much later that evening, I found an ATM that worked with my American card, not Taiwanese. That's a bit annoying, and I'll have to solve that before my trip to Thailand.

So after exploring Chinatown I went to the Intramuros, or old walled city. A group of girls asked me to take their picture. It turns out they're from Guangzhou. I spoke to them in Chinese, which was a surprise. We went around the city together, looking at some old ruins and churches. Seriously, why do I meet up with Chinese tourists whenever I travel?

I stopped in a park, and running on fumes, decided to take a nap in the shade. I woke up maybe 30 minutes later and a girl in rags was standing in front of me. Quite startled, I sat up, and it turns out there were about 7 "slum kids", for lack of a better word, around. They started giggling and poking me saying "Money, money!" I went into full-on defense mode. I grabbed my bag, and raised my fist - if I had to push down a kid I would. But instead the groundskeeper ran up, yelled something and they scattered.

Continuing along, I went through a very large park, and went into the National Museum. This place was kind of depressing, because only about half the exhibits were open. And the ones that were seemed kind of half assed? I don't know how to describe it, but it seems a lot of the country is half assing things. I hesitate to make a comparison to North Korea, because, well, let's get real - nothing's that bad. But instead of a ticket, I got a scrap of paper with some scribbles on it. I'm not saying it doesn't work, or is inconvenient, but... I dunno. Anyway I had lunch at Jolibee, which is basically McDonald's. The story, as I heard it from someone at the hostel is, some guy originally opened a McDonalds. Then McDonald's changed their franchise rules, and the guy didn't want to pay. So he said "I'm going to make my own McDonald's. And our combos will come with ice cream!" So he rebranded, and now they're on every corner in Manila. I got a combo, with ice cream, for $2 US. The taste was alright. Pretty generic fast food to be honest, but I'm glad I had the experience.

After that it was onto the hostel to check in. Easy enough process, and on the way I passed a lot of street food. Some deep fried skewer caught my attention, and I asked what is it and how much. It was chicken. For 5 pesos. 40 pesos is 1 US. Each skewer had about 4 chicken nuggets on them. After 3 and a 20 peso corn, I was stuffed and less than a dollar poorer.

Back in the hostel, I had a few beers with some foreigners also travelling through. Its a nice hostel, albeit simple. I have a lot of thoughts about Manila, but that may be its own entry. For now, good night!