What a night. The staff took me out for my welcome dinner, which was far more lavish than I ever expected. It was in a private room at a five star place. One of the other teachers took some pics, I'll see if I can get them for a later post. In typical Chinese fashion, you order a billion different dishes that the entire table shares from. The table itself had a giant lazy susan in the middle you could just spin until you got to what you wanted. Explaining "Lazy Susan" in Chinese was a bit entertaining.

Afterwards we got to go out to karaoke, or as they call it here "KTV" to avoid actually calling it karaoke. They really don't like the Japanese here. I mean sure, I guess they have their reasons. But I find that they deliberately go out of the way to avoid anything Japanese. Even the Japanese appliances are segregated from their Chinese counterparts. One of the teachers was even telling me about how hard it is for the Japanese to do business here. Weird stuff.

While I'm by no means an expert on karaoke, between the American, Korean, and Japanese versions, I can say that the Chinese version sucks the most. They separate everything out in a fairly arbitrary manner that makes it very difficult to find what you're looking for. Want to search for artist blank? There are two different sections for foreign songs, so you have to do it twice. It's really quite an awful system. While browsing through the categories though, I came across hiragana! Oh happy days were here! I could hopefully bring up songs by AKFG, Bump of Chicken, Flow, Nico Touches the Walls, and a whole bunch of other bands nobody reading this has ever heard of. I tried romaji, but that only brought up songs actually in romaji. I asked one of the bilingual teachers if there is a button to change to gana/kana, and she gave it a look over and said no. So, I have no idea how to search for songs I like. Even their regular English offerings were quite terrible. Yes they had Queen, but only two songs - and one of them was not Bohemian Rhapsody. For shame, China. For shame. Hopefully there's a better KTV than this one around.

I'm really thankful I had the forethought to buy a coffee machine yesterday, it's a godsend after last night. So. Much. Alcohol. Anyway, the picture is of my lunch yesterday from the cafeteria. Now you can be the envy of your friends by knowing what fast food in China looks like.

What. The. Hell.

So the gang came over to hang out last night, and everything was going great. Good company, fun times, gin, etc. Then at one point I was offered a Chinese liquor called baijiu. I took a shot, which when it met my stomach had a wonderful chat.

"Hey there bud. I'm just going to park myself right here next to this gin"

"Terribly sorry old chap, we are full to capacity. Perhaps security could escort you back up the esophagus?"

I tried in vain to get the terrible taste to go away, with crackers, mouthwash, anything. Regardless about 3 minutes later my stomach was not having it, and it returned to the sewer whence it came. A few moments after that, I went in my room and did not wake up until morning.

Baijiu. Never again. Under any circumstances.

For breakfast I dashed down to this coffee shop on the corner, who makes absolutely amazing chicken sandwiches. They, like many other things here, have this white sauce on them that looks like ranch dressing, and sort of kind of tastes like it. I'm not sure what it is but it's quite good, and pretty much anything poultry will include it. After that, I stopped by the corner grocery to pick up some things I missed yesterday. They're really big on these tiny, prepackaged italian bread rolls. Every store I've been to has them, which is a bit of a testament to how popular they must be. Unlike at home where stores have tons of shelf space, most of the stores here are about as big as a cubicle. They actually are pretty good, and make for a quick breakfast.

No picture today. My apartment looks like the aftermath of some terrible tragedy. In a way, it is.

Whew!

This morning I got to go with Sophia to the hospital to do some medical tests for the insurance. First off, I'm not dying. Second of all, their hospitals are hilarious. Unlike US hospitals, every doctor has their own office, and you go to see them one by one - like changing classes in school. They work so fast, it feels like you're a cog in an assembly line. Everything is so neat and tidy though, it really is somewhat exhilarating to go from station to station so quickly. I even got to have an ultrasound done, and I am happy to report I'm not pregnant. The only part that gave me pause was the electrocardiogram. They started to place electrodes all over me while I was laying on a table. This included little wires on my chest and clips on my ankles. I mean, dying via electrocution at a Chinese hospital - never saw that coming.

After that we took a cab back to school. As part of the medical tests I was not allowed to eat in the morning, so I was quite famished. I went out to a cafeteria around the corner, although Sophia declined to join me. This was the first time I've ever ordered and eaten by myself since I got here. As silly as it sounds, it feels like quite the accomplishment. I had some sort glazed potatoes, and the real star, mushrooms in a white sauce. They were BIG mushrooms too, unlike the white buttons we have at home. Anyone who knows me knows how much I enjoy mushrooms, so I was quite the fan. I hope they have that again, as it's quite convenient and cheap.

After getting back home Yllen offered to take me around a bit to Tesco, and then some other big grocery store in the area. I finally was able to get some essentials, along with a lot of gin and vodka. That will be put to use when the gang comes over to hang out tonight. I'm looking forward to meeting everyone outside of a professional setting.

So speaking of which, I need to start cleaning in preparation. Instead of a picture today I took a video - my walk from the school to the cafeteria I had lunch at. For some reason Youtube decided to flip it, so don't be confused when you see some backwards signs - not that you could usually tell anyway.

Figures my 2nd full day here, and I get home so late I just want to crash. Head cheese Kyle and I went out to a Japanese place a bit into town. Cab fare? 10 RMB, which is about $1.50. My western decadence laughs at that piddly sum.

Speaking of the Japanese place, it's a really swanky ordeal. It's exactly like a regular restaurant, except nothing has prices. You just pay one amount, and then everything on the menu you want is yours, as much as you want. Even sake and alcohol are included. It was definitely my favorite meal thus far here, and I managed to find a sake I actually like - this one was of the chilled variety, so maybe that is the key. Even better though, they have Japanese beer! It's not this watered down piss the Chinese drink, its imported! I'm really loving that place, and as soon as I remember what the hell it's called I'll be back again.

Kyle and got to talking quite a bit, and he seems like a nice enough fellow. He's really into what he does, perhaps a bit dry, and overwhelmingly so. But outside of work, he's a nice guy with a wealth of experience in China, and we geeked out on sci-fi and anime for a bit. He even pulled out his laptop at the table and hooked me up with the latest two Walking Dead. I mean, if that doesn't speak volumes, what does? Afterwards we went to a bootleg DVD shop. Backstroke of the West, unfortunately absent.

I spent most of the day hanging out at the school, brushing up on some English grammar I haven't seen in name since High School. I got to further meet the gal that picked me up from the airport, Yllen. Not a misprint there, its pronounced like "Illan", or "Ellen", fuck all if I know - I've heard it both ways. Anyway she's the only other American there, and we got to explain to the Brits and South Africans what tailgating was. She's also from Florida and incredibly attractive. Maybe that last statement comes back to bite me if she Facebook stalks, but so be it. She's an incredible person who has a knack for this line of work, and I could learn a lot from her.

Wouldn't luck have it, I fly to the other side of the world and fall for another American. Speaking of American, today's photo is of the lunch she and I grabbed today - it's hard to get more Uncle Sam than that.

The street cleaners here are just awesome. Not only are they cool to watch, but they play a whimsical tune like the ice cream man. But instead of rocky road, they serve up soap flavor. It would not surprise me if that was an actual type of ice cream, though. I say this as I munch on Italian Meat Flavor Lay's Potato Chips.

Obviously I survived my previous ordeal, and even managed to make it home last night. I went out with a few coworkers and had a very bizarre meal - REALLY spicy squid soup which I could just not eat without crying. There was also a fried carrot dish with powdered sugar on top. It reminded me a lot of a funnel cake. Some dried chicken and veggies evened everything out.

I'm still finding myself getting up pretty early, but I'm adjusting. Some of the guys came over last night and we had a few beers. Which, the beer here is just tragic. Tsingtao is the only decent one, which is like saying Budweiser is the only good beer in the States. The beer at the restaurant was about 5 proof - hardly worth drinking. Sometime this week David is going to show me where the Tesco is. Hopefully sooner rather than later, there's a few things I'm needing to pick up. He also said that they have gin (!!!!), and although it's not great, it's the only way to get a buzz without drinking four gallons.

I finally finished unpacking, and am starting to settle in. While rooting through my stuff I came across a Skymall I snagged on my first flight. I think Skymall is trying to walk the line between "Actual Stuff People Would Buy" and "This Is Such An Absurd Product It's Entertaining". This post's picture would be from the latter category.

Hey United. I'd just like to thank you so very much for losing my bag. Then again as the song famously goes they also break guitars, so I suppose it's not too much of a stretch. Still, if I knew how to say "Go to hell" in Mandarin I would.

Well, my first day in Hangzhou and I've done and got myself lost. I must have walked past each landmark I recognized three times. One smartass street vendor kept saying "Hello!" each time I went past. He was selling "iPod Shuffle MP4" for about $25 US. Even had the Apple logo on them. "Not sure if knockoff or just that cheap" seems to be my new motto.

Anyway, my roommate is a Brit named David, super classy guy. I'm finding myself speaking more like him the more time I spend with him. I think it's because since everything looks different, I find it easier to see that object as a "rubbish bin" and not a trash can.

I also got a chance to meet the head cheese, Kyle. Great guy from Vancouver who pretty much said goodbye to the west years ago - even has a wife here. He took me out to lunch right around the corner from school. Had some Pepper Chicken, Seaweed, and aged tofu with Apple soda. The aged tofu is as bad as it sounds. In fact, I'm not even going to capitalize you, tofu. Maybe that will teach you to not taste like a sock next time. The apple soda was great though - basically apple flavored Surge.

This place definitely has the Asian vibe, in that if a car can fit somewhere, you are obligated to try and do so. Also you're pretty much a rockstar for looking western. Speaking of rockstars, my coworker Sophia says that they basically don't exist here. She's never been to any live music show, or had Indian food. She's also never been on a plane, but at least the first two I can correct.

Funny picture for this post is something that we all could use: