Days 3 and 4 in Yangon were a bit more chill, with most of my "must sees" completed. Actually pretty much all the tourist sites for Yangon had been completed, and everyone at the hostel was pretty desperate to leave. I thought this city had more in store though, and I stuck around. Turns out that was a good decision. But still, I knew there wasn't much left, so I went to the train station to get my ticket. After that and a curry lunch, I started with Sein Yaung. A small temple that's just a footnote, its claim to fame is that the entire surface is mirrored. But, Myanmar is near the equator. And with the hot tropic sun that means Sein Yuang Temple is a giant heat beam of death and destruction. The walk up on hot pavement, no shoes of course, was piping hot and I rushed to get photos under much pain. So, you're welcome.

The next stop was also an odd one, the last emperor of India died in Yangon after he pissed of the British, and they sent him here. Now he is buried in a grand tomb befitting his greatness. Just kidding. He's in someone's back yard in a Yangon suburb. I swear that's true, it was hard to find the place nestled among the other houses. But he does have a proper temple, albeit small. And his body isn't behind some marble slab, nope. Just chilling in his coffin, go touch it if you want. Weird place.

Today was a bit brutal heat wise, topping out in the 40s (over 100F). But it didn't really bother me, I wasn't even sweating that much. I guess I am really used to this heat now. Regardless the next stop was the National Museum, a place I always like going to so I can find the moon rocks Nixon gave all the different countries. Also air conditioning.

The museum is massive, ugly building (not the one in the photo) containing some amazing artifacts in shitty cases. It's a shame, because spread over 5 floors, it kept me occupied for over 2 hours, and I travel fast. It could easily be a half day thing, and would be enjoyable if it didn't look like a high school from 1930. But it had some really amazing stuff, which you are not allowed to photograph. Sorry about that.Actually, not really. Seriously, this building exuded whatever the opposite of architectural beauty is.

After I went to Bogyoke market, but I ran into an Anglican Cathedral on the way. The Cathedral of the Holy Trinity was pretty, but closed. The market itself was too touristy for my tastes, flooded with Chinese tour groups. They were all eating at tourists restaurants where a Coke is $1 (normally 20 cents). I set out to find where the locals eat, and eventually found it. I had a feast for $1.20, and probably better food too. I was pretty tired and could tell I was starting to get heat stroke, so I went back to the hostel for the night.

The next day was a half one, since I had to catch a train in the afternoon. With 0 expectations, I decided to go to the other side of the river just, because. It turns out that was my favorite part of the trip. The boat was a giant ferry, and more of a literal floating market than a means of transport. These kids sold me seagull food for 100 kyat (10 cents), and man, the seagulls really came out of nowhere to eat it. On the other side, still with 0 tourists in sight, a bicycle taxi offered to take me around for 6000 kyat. It's kind of a ripoff, but I decided what the heck, it's 6 bucks. Turns out that was a good decision. He told me a lot about Myanmar, gave his blunt opinion on the government (bad), and his opinion on Buddhism (good). Mao Mao, or "Cat cat" in Chinese was a fun guy, carrying on about how he's going to marry Celine Dion and Rhianna. He took me to this village I definitely never would have found, basically poor people who live in bamboo huts by the river. After some hesitant stares, a bunch of kids ran up to me. Surprisingly not to sell me junk, but to touch my hair and arms. We just hung out playing with the kids and drinking tea, and it was a really nice day.

After lunch it was back to the train station for the 16 hour journey. I lucked out and shared a sleeper cabin with a Chinese American, so we had a lot to talk about. I had heard the train was an adventure, and they weren't kidding. British engineering at its finest, this was not a train. It was a rollercoaster. I initially had trouble sleeping because I became airborne several times, and would awake in midair. This led to thoughts I would never imagine having, such as "I wonder where I am going to land." and "It is possible the train has derailed." And honestly it doesn't seem that far fetched, after having to hold on because the train listed at a 45 degree angle. Regardless trains put me to sleep, and after wedging myself into a corner I managed to get a dusty 8 hours. While it was an unforgettable experience, I would not recommended it. The previously mentioned group from Yangon arrived just hours before me, despite leaving 24 hours earlier. Apparently their train kept losing cars, then having to go back for them. Then the engine car kept breaking down. Here I thought the Thai train system had issues - move over, Myanmar takes the cake.

Dirty. Chaotic. And somehow still sleepy, Yangon is not what I'd expect for a capital, even though I had 0 expectations before coming. And on top of that, I had 0 expectations for Myanmar. And what I learned is that Myanmar is an odd country. Well, not odd I suppose. But a weird mix blending East Asia with Middle East Asia. The people, food, and city are like a Venn Diagram of Chinese, Thai, and Indians. But on top of it, everyone has that Laotian kindness I miss so much. And to add a further spin to it, there's a dash of British culture for good measure - good for me, as they saw fit to use English. It's a strange crossing of cultures, set in a city that looks hundreds of years old, but is a sea of construction now that international sanctions have been lifted. Thanks, Obama.

And it's a country nobody knows much about, and maybe you don't either. Because the picture at the beginning of the blog isn't Myanmar, this is Myanmar.

A former British colony, after independence Myanmar, at the time called Burma, was ruled by a military junta up until a few years ago. Now, a prominent democratic activist has been released, open elections have occurred, and while the military is on the way out, their influence is still felt. It's almost like a child who got a new babysitter. They're not sure what they can get away with yet, so they keep trying stuff and see what works. Also with tourists now allowed into the country, it seems like they're trying to assemble a tourist industry from string and duct tape. There simply weren't and still aren't hotels to deal with the load. And the military hasn't completely loosened their grip, with only certain hotels being able to host foreigners. This leads to high hotel prices, but at least everything else is cheap enough to make up for it. And most of the time, the locals just don't know what to do with you. "What do they eat? What do they want to do? We don't know!" Most interesting tourist attractions have hastily written English signs, of course at much higher prices than the locals pay.

I arrived at Yangon around lunchtime, and shared a taxi into the city with 3 others. On the way in I saw a massive church which is an odd sight in Asia. So after getting settled, I set out to see it. It was a large cathedral, and oddly enough named St. Mary's. Pretty place, and probably an unexpected destination for a foreigner, because people kept staring at me. After, I had a sugar cane juice on the sidewalk and saw some kids with some face paint stuff. I've heard about it, it's some sort of traditional thing. Mostly girls wear it, but it's a sunblock, clears acne, and probably washes your car if you ask the manufacturer. It's probably like those scented bottles Thais carry around - useless, but whatever makes you feel better.

After I went into the city to Sule Pagoda. A big temple, it cost 3000 kyat ($3) for foreigners. It was fine, it's a wat. I also went to the park across the street to see a big statue thing. After walking outside and waiting to cross the street, some old guy asked "Where are you from?" I said America, and he replied "In Myanmar, you must learn to pray." I said "Oh, why is that?" "Because you must cross the street." I will admit the traffic is quite harrowing here. They drive very fast, and all rules are optional. Maybe there's a lot of new drivers with the sudden economic boom, because they all behave like they just got a new toy with nothing to lose. Ah well, when in Asia.

I finished my the religious tour with a jaunt to the Sri Kali Hindu temple. And with that it was off to Chinatown. I met my cab sharing buddy from earlier, with no help from the hostel's reception. The time passed we were supposed to meet, so I asked if she could pass a message. She said no. Then a guest said he was upstairs. I asked if I could go and get him. She said no. I asked if she could go tell him I'm here. She said no. I asked if I could write a note, and you leave it to on his bed. Again no. Well okay then. Later I was eating a delicious plate of noodles, and drinking on the road and he saw me. 60 cent beers, 80 cent cocktails. Oh, Myanmar. In Chinatown I could communicate for once, which was a nice change.

Next day, new friends Christine, Dave, and I shared a taxi to Chauk That Gyi. A 15 minute taxi turned into an hour one, though. The driver started going in not quite the right direction, and I thought "Well, maybe its a 1 way road, or traffic, or something." I asked if he's sure this is the right way, he waved me off. I asked again at another intersection, and then he turned in the complete opposite direction. Finally I shouted no, and guided him with the GPS. He finally realized where we wanted to go about 100 meters away from the temple, but just like Laos, didn't try to charge us more. Yay, friendliness! Anyway, move over, Wat Pho. This was the biggest godamn Buddha I've seen. I thought I've seen every possible Buddha. Nope. This one was the size of a jet, although the building wasn't pretty. They also had drawings of dreams, and their meanings. They were super specific, like "If you dream of a jackal peeing into a gem encrusted cup, that means your king will lower taxes." I was thinking "No time in however many hundreds of years this temple has existed was this advice applicable."

Someone at the hostel told us of this amazing pizza place (one of the best of his life apparently), and we were close to it, so we decided to go. We got a half prosciutto and half chicken pizza, and random hostel guy wasn't lying. At $20 split 3 ways, it's the most I've paid for a meal in a while, but it was one of, or very likely the best pizza I've had in my life. Who knew, Yangon knows how to make an amazing pizza. Everything was spot on, and I can't say enough good things about it. Get your shit together, rest of Asia. Some poor little country where there's hardly internet, and people live on a $1 per day can whip up an amazing pizza. What's your excuse?

After it was off to the park, where we saw some pretty bridges and fountains. My travel companions still were very hot and wanted to relax, which was not for me. I said bye and went off to the zoo next door. An odd find, the zoo claims to be one of the oldest in the world. And aside from the obviously dangerous animals like tigers, cages aren't really a thing there. The main strategy was "Just put a meter deep ditch around the area." Apparently elephants are freaked out by stairs, cause they wouldn't cross it. But of course their noses would and they loved to poke people walking by. The hippo area was a pit not much taller than the hippo, so he could put his face at the level of the enclosure. This turned out to be funny when a little kid peered over the ledge and found himself 6 inches away from a hippos face. He yelled and ran to mom, and I thought "That hippo probably could have eaten him if he wanted to."

After the zoo it was quite hot, but I passed by this kids amusement park full of super weird statues. It was 50 cents to go in, and I'm sure a single white guy taking pictures in a kids park was normal. But these statues... some were good, others were like a 5th grade art project. Of course this made them even funnier. Also there were dinosaurs.

I passed a mall, and thought maybe this will be my only chance to see a Burmese mall. Pretty nice, I had a 100+ Cola from Brunei. Later I would go back for dinner, from a Shan (northern) restaurant. It was a sort of noodle dish with chicken, onions, sauce, and crunchy bread crumbs - almost like croutons.

Last but not least for the day was Shwedagon Pagoda, whose name sounds like a drunk person slurring their words. The story goes when Buddha attained enlightenment, there were 2 merchants present. Buddha gave them 8 strands of his hair. Instead of saying "That's kinda gross, bro." They took them home and built a modest temple. Several kings made it bigger, and now it's a giant temple on a hill, with 3 escalators to get to the top. The top was a giant plaza of stuff, topped by an incredibly large chedi, the largest in the country and probably of most countries. While waiting for sunset I chatted with a monk who invited me to teach at his monastery. I'd love to, but unfortunately the dates just don't line up. I got a selfie and a Facebook friend though, cause monks are all about Facebook. I asked him what he called this country. He said Myanmar (the military's new name) because Burmese is an ethnic group, and there are more groups than just Burmese. Fair enough. It seems the younger people say Myanmar, while the older ones stick to Burma.

Back at the hostel, I ran into my companions. We ate at a local restaurant, and I joked with the girl I wanted that face paint stuff all the girls have. Turns out it's quite an ordeal. They mix this powder and water on a stone plate, then use a piece of sandalwood to grind it. Finally they use a brush to put it on. It got some laughs from the girl, her mom, and the patrons. It felt very cooling, almost minty. After it dried it felt fine, but before it itched a bit. Still, not the most uncomfortable thing. If it does protect like sunscreen I'd imagine it's much cheaper.

The last stop was back to Chinatown, because it was St. Patrick's Day. I started to explain to the locals what today was, but then I realized I don't even really know what it is. Something about leading snakes out of Ireland? Eventually I settled on "An Irish holiday where people drink and stuff is green." In celebration one drunk Chinese guy bought us a round of beers. Now I'm thinking I can just make up western holidays when talking to Chinese people and hopefully get free beers out of it.  Anyway, after a few I headed back. With so much of Yangon to discover, I didn't want to spend it hungover. Onto the next day!