Hello Thailand!

We just finished a month of work in Bangkok, which seems like an odd way to spend a "holiday". Like I mentioned last time, the main point of going back there was for Ella to get her CELTA. And for some reason, a flight to Thailand is cheaper than one to Shanghai - not to mention the CELTA is about $600 cheaper there. Weird. Anyway, Ella finished with a Pass B, which is not an easy thing to do. About 80% get a regular Pass, and only the top 1% pull off a Pass A, so it's a pretty big deal. Proud of her.

And what did I do with myself? I am now a Google Certified Educator (which is not a huge deal - just a few hours of study and $10 to take a test), but it should like nice on a CV. I also took my hopefully final exam for my US Teaching License. The results come about a month later, so as of time of writing, I have no idea if I passed or not. It was pretty difficult, and one of the longest tests I've ever taken - about 3.5 hours. So I'd rather to not do it again.

The project which is far more interesting, that I hinted about last time, is that I am writing a book. I debated if I should mention it at all on this blog, because if it becomes a project that goes nowhere, I would just feel silly. But at the same time, it's not like anyone really reads this, and maybe putting it down on "paper" will attach some obligation for me to finish it. It's sort of like an "Teaching English Abroad for Dummies" book, with how to get started, countries to work in, how to teach, how to cope, things like that. Right now it's around 150 pages, but I still have more work to do - mostly on countries I have never worked in. If for some reason you are desperate (how?) some of the content is adapted from my other "professional" blog - link on the right side. I actually was a lot busier than I thought this month, so I wasn't able to work on it as much as I would like. I don't really have any high aspirations, even if a few friends read it that would be great. My hope is to one day Amazon e-publish it, and if 20 people read it, I would be thrilled. I have no idea when it will be done, or if it will be done.

Anyway, always nice to see Bangkok again, especially old friends. It really is an amazing city to be in, but being there reminded me of just how bad my work-life balance was while there. Everything costs about the same as it does in China, I was making about 1/3rd as much, and working twice as hard. So for a holiday, it's great. As a place to live, I don't know... I would like to feel less poor. But after our busy month of cramming, we wanted our proper holiday. So hello, Indonesia. It's one of the few countries in the region I've never been to, so let's see what it has to offer.

We started in Bali, and so would begin our constant displeasure with transport. We arrived around 1am, and agreed to pay a high amount (well, $7, which is a kings ransom in some parts of the world) to go 5km. But without much of a choice, we turned in ready to start the next day at Kuta, a place we had repeatedly been told is a shitty place Australians have ruined.

Well, they're not wrong. It's sort of like Pattaya without the adult entertainment, just bar after bar and old men who are definitely not pulling off... whatever it is they are trying to pull off. It's a crowded place, but at the same time we were in "holiday mode" and were fine with eating pizza and sleeping all day. But one day we gathered the strength and went south to the Bukit, which might as well be a different country. Suddenly things are super rural, chickens everywhere, with not a KFC in sight - not that there's anything wrong with that. The first place of interest was Gunung Payung, a small beach so far off the tourist path even our driver went and took photos. It's a very secluded cove, too rocky to swim but was cool for some photos.

We had a late start, so the only other place we had time for was Uluwatu Temple. This place was really cool. Set on top of a high cliff overlooking the sea, it had some great views. Unfortunately you couldn't go all the way in the temple, but still it was impressive. We had a nice walk, got some great photos, and saw a monkey opening a Sprite - clever little guy.

After dinner at the very nice Poppies restaurant (thanks for the tip, Joe), that was about it for Kuta. Yeah, short one this time. Partially because we mostly just slept and ate the first few days, and partially because I have few nice things to say about Kuta. If you're 22 and have never left your hometown, it is probably interesting. If you have been to any tourist trap of a beach ever, you know what to expect. So the next stop is Ubud, up north in the "mountains". Hopefully it has more to offer, without all the frat boys.

I got married!

I figured I should lead with that, since that's definitely the most important thing to happen in my life. This was something Ella and I have been sort of considering for 3ish years now, but just a combination of life and wanting to be really, really sure sort of delayed it. But a few months ago, we started to really consider it. We ordered some simple rings online, because who wants to blow a lot of money on a fancy ring? I'd rather blow it on airline tickets. Anyway, mine is a simple silver loop, and Ella's is a set of cat ears with paws on the other side.

Because that's actually a thing.

The deal was that I was to propose to her sometime during May, but not tell her when. I had been wanting to go to the top of the IFC Tower in Guangzhou, because 1) There's a skybar, and 2) There's a BAR IN THE SKY, and 3) It's currently the highest you can go until they finish the taller neighboring building. I finally convinced her to, and after spending a not unreasonable amount on some drinks, I thought it was a good time to pop the question.

So now we needed to find an officiant and venue. Honestly we would have taken any Joe off the street who was willing to get an online ordination, because the legal process is pretty... unsexy? Just signing a piece of paper. Turns out my neighbor and friend is pretty versed in this kind of thing, and even studied ministry in school. So, hats off to you Miles. You're the best.

The weekend before, we went around some of the parks to find a place to do it. We found this really cute gazebo in a children's park, of all places, not too far from school. It was pretty far from the playground area, so that seemed good enough for us. We got our friends together and went out there on a Tuesday - not the most convenient day for sure, but we wanted to do it then because it was the 4 year anniversary of when Ella and I met. Mostly everything went off without a hitch.

Mostly.

So, we arrived after work, because nothing puts you in the wedding mood by giving students their final exam. It's a children's park, so it actually closes at dusk. As we were kicking off the ceremony, a security guard walking by saw a group of foreigners conducting some sort of ritual, and I imagine was quite confused. So he called for backup. A few minutes later, a golf cart (the most intimidating of vehicles) with 4 other guards rolls up. Now, because of how we are situated, I am the only one facing the road, and am probably the only one seeing all of this unfold behind Ella. Everyone else is looking at us, of course. I was standing up there, as Miles said all these nice things about love, loyalty, etc., but the whole time I am thinking "Hm. So. The cops are going to break up my wedding." I tried to signal some people to turn around as they started to approach. One of the guests sort of blocked their path, and explained to them whats going on. Guard #1 wasn't having it. But fortunately the head guard was cooler, and said more or less "No problem, but we're closing in 10 minutes." Whew! Thanks everyone!

So after a Vietnamese dinner with far too much wine, the next day was a bit rough. But honestly everything worked out exactly as we had hoped. Something really low key, small, and inexpensive. I'm glad that people who want to do big weddings have that opportunity, but for me it just seems like a lot of fuss for no reason. I'd rather spend that money on a trip, such as to the beautiful city of Dongguaaaaaaan!

So for the... zero people reading this who know China, Dongguan has a reputation as being a blue collar, sin-city of China with lots of "working girls" in karaoke bars. However like Pattaya in Thailand, it also is trying to change its image and be more of a family-friendly tourist destination. With it being right next door to Guangzhou (like, literally the next city over), I've been wanting to make it out there. So we did a 2-days 1-night trip over extended weekend, first seeing sights in the city, then a historical area to the south. In the city, we kicked it off by going to the Dongguan Museum. One of the cooler small museums I've been in, they had some really neat stuff. A few impressive dioramas, but really, their ivory exhibit was really cool. I don't even know what this was supposed to be, but wow. Not that I'm in favor of ivory - sorry, elephants. At least take comfort in that it was all very old.

But the really amazing place in Dongguan is Keyuan Garden. It used to be some rich person's house, but now is just sort of like a Mulan, Crouching Tiger sort of playground. A giant sprawling house with a garden, nothing much to say about this place except that I felt like an emperor walking around in it. They had a few mini-museums, but overall it was just beautiful. I don't know if its worth the few hour detour if you're in Guangzhou, but it is impressive nonetheless. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

 

We had a detour to the world largest mall, the South China Mall. Err, really unimpressive, not much to see. But that evening we went to another interesting place, Xiabafang. How to describe this... imagine a 100 years ago, a bunch of people with no zoning laws wanted to build houses and live in a very small area. And then those people left and their houses were converted into bars/restaurants. So you have this network of alleyways, and 3/4-story houses with rooftop terraces. Its sort of a maze to go up each floor, twisting through passageways before you come out on this small section of a roof immediately against another roof. We had some Tibetan beef curry and then bar hopped for a bit, and if you're in the area it's worth a look. It was Friday night and a World Cup game was going on, and even then it wasn't very crowded. Chinese folk just don't like bars that much. Their loss.

The next morning we went to the southern part of the city, near the Shenzhen border. Called Humen, this is the mouth of the river that eventually flows to Guangzhou. There's a lot of history here, as this was the main battlefield of the Opium Wars. It all started when some fellow, who was mad at the British, threw a bunch of their trade goods into the river. Then the British got angry and had their navy pay a visit.

Stop me if you've heard this story before.

Anyway this kicked off a big fuss that eventually wound up with Hong Kong being given to the UK. Now, there is an opium museum that was alright, but not amazing. What is also not amazing is the scam taxi that we took to the next museum. He had a rigged meter that charged us about 3x what it should be. And people wonder why Didi (Uber) is killing the taxi business? Anyway, it was a short trip so it wasn't the end of the world (about $9 instead of $3). Learned my lesson.

But what was amazing is the next museum, the Naval History Museum. I can honestly say, this is one of the coolest museums I have ever been to. And it's just tucked under a bridge in rural Dongguan. It was one of the cleanest, most detailed, and packed full of amazing stuff place I've ever been. If you put this next to the Smithsonians in DC, it would not be out of place. It discussed naval warfare not just from China, but around the world with exhibits from a bunch of different countries. It had these really amazing, floor to ceiling paintings depicting battles, and large model displays that went into detail about them. So, let's throw some pictures up here. Man, this place is cool.

Outside we took a walk in Humen Fort, which the British sort of blew up. While it made for a few cool photos, we set out back across the river to Guangzhou to see the next place, Tianhou Temple. I know, temples. But this one was different, being built into the side of a mountain. Maybe the best example of a Chinese Temple out there, although Zhinan in Taipei comes close. I love the photos from this place, so I'm just going to let them do the talking.

 

And that was it for our little excursion. We had some crawfish on the way back, and then back to work. We're almost done, because as of writing there are only 2 days left this semester. That means a 2ish-month long holiday is right around the corner. Awwww yeah! We're not jetting off to some beach right away though. We need to get some things in order before we go back home. That's right, we're going home to Bangkok!

Ha, see what I did there? Bangkok does sort of feel like home though. We actually didn't intend to go there at all. Ella wanted to get her CELTA (teaching certification - sort of a big deal). It's a month long program and is super intense. I did it a few years ago, and looking back on that post I sounded a bit sour on the program. Maybe I've changed my mind, but honestly I felt it was the most I ever developed in a month, professionally. It was crazy intense, and I worked about 60-80 hours a week on it. Ella's going in with more experience than I did, which is nice, but also having to do all the work in her second language. So, it's going to be a lot of work for her.

As for me? I've got a few things on my plate, but mostly it's a month off. I have a big project I'm going to start that I'm pretty excited about. I don't want to talk about it yet, because I've never done anything like this before. Maybe I'll finish it in this month, but who knows? Otherwise, the road to getting my teaching license continues, and I have my (hopefully) final test in July. That should open up some more opportunities. After Ella's program, we're going to jet off to some other country for a bit for some R&R. Where? Who knows? My wife and I are always looking for suggestions.