Did you know China has lizards? China has lizards.

I came back from KTV one night, fairly drunk. (which, KTV has Gangnam Style now - awesome). I was brushing my teeth when I heard <skitter skitter> from the bathtub. I pull back the curtain and see a lizard who is not excited to see me.

"Huh. Well. That's new."

Lacking any sort of lizard facilities, I put him in a food storage container with water. I decided drunk Weg is an idiot, and that sober Weg will know what to do tomorrow. It would also be a nice surprise for him.

So the next morning, I go to take a shower and I step on a tupperware container. I think "What the deuce?". I look at the lizard inside and it all comes back to me. He was pretty freaked out, probably because I woke him up. Anyway I was going to the lake that day, so I brought him along and gave him his freedom.

The bigger question is why I was going to the lake. I swear to you all of this is true, but I was the token white guy in a ceremony with the vice mayor of Hangzhou.

Seriously.

How did it get to this point? Well let's Tarintino it back to a few days ago. I was in the office, chilling out when a call went out for any teachers wanting to make some extra cash. I thought "Hey, why not?" and volunteered. What I did not know is that myself and another teacher would be the centerpiece of a song and dance welcoming foreigners to Xiaoshan/Hangzhou. I was supposed to look like a tourist, walk onstage holding my "wife's" hand. Then we got to dance, clap our hands, and do a peace sign at the end. Then there was a confetti cannon and a ton of doves being released. For serious.




It turns out this is a pretty godamn big deal. There was a media frenzy there, on account of the tidal bore that goes through Hangzhou each year. We'll be on TV and radio for the next few days.

So after, everyone wanted photos. My favorite though, was the bird guy. The bird guy started talking to me in Chinese listing off all his accomplishments. Did you know he supplies birds for Hangzhou University? Apparently so. So he gave me a card, and was "You know, if you need any birds - give me a shout." Right, so. I have a bird guy now.



On the way out, we ran into him again and he offered to give us a ride back. Nice fellow. His car was a testament to hilarity. The trunk was full of pigeons, and the interior was filled with bird seed and Chinese bird trade magazines. Mister Bird (先生鸟) as I called him, was a pretty hilarious dude.

I swear to you this is all true.

I set a new milestone - furthest from home I've ever been. I have so much to say, but I'm going to try and keep it short.

It was the last week of summer at school, so we decided to end it with a bang. My Chinese teacher, myself, his nephew, and some friends went to a mountain resort for getting in touch with nature. And stuff. I was told we'd be hiking.

"Alright! I need my knife, a multi-tool, food, water, a lighter, some extra clothes... let's do this!"

By "hiking", the Chinese mean travelling on a very well maintained trail with a tour group.

Oh.

But that's not to say it wasn't beautiful. I had a blast, and some of the best eggs I've had in my life - because the things were laid right before I ate them. Anyway my words really don't do this place justice, so I'm going to picture vomit for a bit.

I also got to climb a gorram waterfall. This is one of the more dangerous things I've done, and there is no way you could ever do it in the US without signing a very lengthy waiver. They are pretty serious about safety though - you cannot have a frolic with each other.

(snicker)

But I did triumph, along with a bunch of other kids.

I was asked to be the host for our summer movie courses. So I got an excuse to pull out the ol' suit, hat, and stand on stage and act the fool.

The one in the blue and red is good ol' Sophie, who is leaving us at the end of the week. Miss you!

A new coffee shop opened up on my street, which is pretty much the best thing ever. They were pretty thrilled to have a foreigner spending his day there, so they gave me lots of free coffee and cake. I got to pose for a lot of pictures, and the staff ran out front to get some photos of me. So of course, I snapped some back.

We also went to Shanghai this week for Kyle's going away party. As you can see below, we went to the most classy establishments the city had to offer.

We also went to the museum which had a robot which could solve a Rubicks cube. I thought this was the coolest thing ever. You mess the thing up, give it to him, and bam. Solved. I swear they're taking over the world.

Finally some shopping at the fake market near the museum. Can you spot the amazing 900GB USB stick? Or maybe you'd prefer the camera? As you can see, its a top of the line brand.

Oh China. I'll miss things like this.