Hello Bangkok!

I arrived Friday night with a hassle free flight. I decided to request a special meal on the plane for the hell of it, Kosher. I don't really know what Kosher means except it's Jewish. I got salmon with a mushroom sauce, mixed veggies, and some crackers with an apple dipping sauce, thing. I don't usually like fish, but this food was really good! I'm going to request a special meal always from now on, as it was a big improvement over what everyone else got.

Suvarnabhumi Airport wins the "Craziest Airport Name" award. But it's also a really easy airport to get around, and everything was very hassle free. This is the first time I flew to a country in Asia where my luggage wasn't lost or destroyed, so they already have my undying love. It was super easy to get to my hostel as well, because they have a train that goes right to the middle of the city. I'd estimate I was in my room about 1 hour after landing, which is just amazing. And it turns out, my hostel is in a rather infamous area called Patpong. I didn't know what Patpong was. Now I do. More on that later.

My school program doesn't start until Monday, which gave me the weekend to go around the city. First off, the protests and whatnot? Totally overblown by the media. Everything is normal, and while there are gatherings, they're just like, sit ins. People have basically cordoned off random streets with makeshift barriers, sit there, and play music. And of course there are a billion vendors hocking food and trinkets to all the people who are kind of living there. It's not so much a protest, as it is a festival. Everyone just walks through them as normal, though it is inconvenient when driving. As I learned. More on that later.

Anyway after walking around the city, I am unsure where in the world Bangkok is, because it's certainly not in Thailand. Here is the list of the most common languages used in Bangkok, as heard by me:

1) Chinese (yup)
2) Thai
3) French
4) Russian
5) German
6) English

In fact, the title of this blog should be "C'mon, Chinese again? Really?" There are an absurd number of Chinese tourists here. It seems to be half the people in the city. The other 25% are Thai, and the last 25% are white folk. I thought I would pretty much leave my Chinese behind in Taiwan, but I've been using it here more than I ever did. Like, when I met my hostel mate. I asked her name, which she understood, but she said she doesn't speak English. I ask where she's from. Shanghai.

GREAT! MORE CHINESE!

Then, I go out for dinner and saw a restaurant with beef noodle. They have pictures for me to point at, but they're high up the wall and unclear. They had Chinese characters on them, so I tried saying that. Yup, turns out they're from Beijing.

GREAT! MORE CHINESE!

And then much later, I'm at a bar with 3 Japanese guys I met (more on that later) when a girl approaches us. She doesn't speak English or Japanese. But she was born in Hangzhou (my former home).

GREAT! MORE CHINESE!

But I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's back up to Saturday.

I set out and got some amazing chicken and rice from a roadside stall. I went on the Skytrain, basically Bangkok's version of a metro. I got off at a station near the river, which is Bangkok's other metro. It's actually quite amazing, but every river or canal is a proper metro line. They have stations everywhere along them, with their own advertising and ticket system. Also, the driver will lower the roof a touch when they go under bridges, as I quickly found out. Just riding that thing is an amazing experience, this boat chock full of people speeding through these seaside neighborhoods that look more like Venice than Asia.

I got off at a junction in the river to see the Golden Mount. Basically a temple on top of a hill, it's a bit touristy. But it's quite impressive nonetheless, and gives a good view of the area. Across the street is Mahakan Fort. It's quite small, and as is the theme here, you have to take your shoes off to go inside. I got a nice view from the top. After that I stopped and got fried rice at a roadside stand, and Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

This is the best fried rice I've had in my life. It had giant chunks of carrots and tomatoes in it, along with chicken. It was super hearty, stick-to-your-ribs kind of food. I am a huge fan of this place, and I will try to find it again.

Anyway after an orgasmic lunch, down the road is the very large Democracy Monument in the middle of a roundabout. It's impressive to look at, but after you do that's all there is to it. I went along to Bangkok's National Museum, and learned quite a bit about the country.

First of all, Thailand has a king, and it seems that everyone likes him a lot. To be honest, he seems like a really cool guy. He was born in America, finished his education in Europe, and then moved to Thailand to run the place. He seems to have brought a lot of good parts of western civilization, while leaving out the bad. This seems to be the theme in Thailand, as they are the only country in SE Asia to have never been colonized. When European nations did come, and said "Look, we have all this cool stuff! Take it, and be our colony!", Thailand said "Thanks for the cool stuff! But, no thank you!" I think this is awesome. Really the museum didn't seem overly propaganday like in China, it was pretty down to Earth and I'm inclined to believe what they said. I especially like that the king would sneak out of the palace in regular clothes to go hang out with common people for a few days. This probably wouldn't happen today, but I wish more world leaders could/would do that.

As far as the rest of the museum, it was pretty cool. They had a lot of really, really old stuff, as is expected, but it wasn't behind glass. It was just, there. You could just go right up to it, and even touch some of it. Like, some carved stone that was like 1000 years old. That is totally awesome. Mostly I liked getting selfies with the statues.

After that I visited Wat Pho, which is, meh. A big temple. Kinda pretty but nothing amazing. I was near the infamous Khaosan Road, which honestly deserves its own blog entry. If backpacking is a religion, Khaosan Road is Mecca. There are hostels every 2 steps, and the roads are filled with cheap, cheap food and essential travel things. Laundry services, power adapters, backpacks, clothes, that kind of stuff. It's actually an amazing shopping place, and I got an hour long foot massage for pennies. I also had pad thai from a street side stall. It was good, but I'm gonna say it - My Thai in Florence, KY is still better.

While eating I ran into Renald, or however you spell his name. He's an older guy, maybe in his 50s that has decided work sucks and lives on Khaosan Road. It seems easy to do. You know how you hear statistics that so much of the world lives on the international poverty line of $1 a day or something? You could almost do that at Khaosan. I exaggerate but I think a few dollars a day would give you a very comfortable life there, including lodging.

I picked up a T-shirt and saw a roadside bar that said "Cheap Cheap Strong Strong Cocktails". Those are all the things I like about cocktails. So I got a Black Russian, which, was, kind of cheapish. But it was definitely strong. Wow. After that along with a gin and tonic I was pretty gone. I met another guy there, Aseem. Aseem is from Kuwait, and retired. He lives in Southern Thailand with his wife 30 years his younger. Go Aseem. He told me how in Kuwait, alcohol is illegal and the only place to get it is the black market. A small bottle of vodka is about $500.

Not Thai $500. US $500. Screw you, Kuwait. He said you can't drink alcohol according to Islam, and I pointed out he was drinking a beer.

"Well... I'm a bad Muslim." Touche, Aseem. He left shortly after that.

Here is where things get blurry. Next to me were three Japanese students, here on holiday. I don't remember their names, but they rhymed - which I swear they must've done to mess with me. They just arrived, and had never had alcohol before. Clearly the best place to start a drinking career is at a place called "Cheap Cheap Strong Strong Cocktails". Yeah, this'll go down well. They asked for recommendations, and I suggested some lighter drinks. Based on the taste, they were made with a very heavy hand. It wasn't long before they were quite lit and couldn't even stand. We moved onto another bar, I guess more like a club. There were a lot of girls there, all clearly pros. One approached us, and didn't speak English or Japanese. But, she was born in China so spoke Chinese. I asked where, and she said Hangzhou. GOD, CHINESE AGAIN?! So we hung out for like an hour, and I got to translate everything to the best of my ability. Which, I think my Chinese gets better when I'm drunk. Or I care less. Probably that one.

I tried to get a cab back to my hostel, but they wanted an outrageous $5 US to get there. I told them to get bent, and to just use the meter. "Oh sir, it's broken." Sure it is. How convenient every driver in the area has a broken meter. All jokes aside, I love that banter, the haggling. It's back, baby! Just like China! I walked to get away from the area and get a legit cab, but really had to pee. I was in a quiet area with no bathroom around, so I found a corner to take care of things. Then when I turn around, no joke, there were two taxis and a tuk tuk waiting. "Sir, taxi?" So, advice for Bangkok: If you ever need a lift, just start peeing somewhere. They assume you're drunk and will pay anything. The taxis had broken meters (shock!), but I worked out an agreeable rate with the tuk tuk.

That was day 1 in Bangkok.

Day 2 was much more chill. I was tired and hungover, and set out to see the Grand Palace. It's quite impressive, and I'm glad I saw it, but it's a little expensive to get in. For foreigners, at least. It's totally free for Thai citizens. Which, it feels unfair, but it actually makes sense. This is their kings place, they pay taxes, they should be able to see it for free. Travelers should foot the bill also. I asked a Chinese tour group to help me out with taking my photo (yup, more Chinese), and then went on to Wat Arun by boat.

Wat Arun is a very impressive monument that's in a bunch of photos of Bangkok. You can climb to the top, and those stairs are steep. About knee high, and very narrow. My legs hurt by the time I got up there. Which, it looks cool, but that's all there is. After, I stopped off at a streetside market to get some food. Green Curry, this time. Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. God.

Oh. My. Freaking. God.

As if the fried rice couldn't be topped, this green curry gave it quite a run for the money. It was amazing, and I will try to remember this place as well. But I can't be that lucky, more than likely all the food here is just amazeballs.

I hoofed it to the north to find a Medical Oddities Museum. Hey, it was nearby and heard it was "Not for the faint of heart". Unfortunately it's closed on weekends, so I'm not sure when I'll get a chance to see it. Further north is the Royal Barge Museum, which was the hardest thing in the world to find. Look at this photo - would you ever see that? The entrance was hilarious, it criss-crossed through this shanty town along the river through all these back alleys. It was 100 baht to get in. Fine. Then he said if you want to take photos, its another 100 baht.

For real?

I said no thanks and took photos anyway. I'm there, seeing this stuff with my eyes. I don't see why I should pay you to save what my eyes see. Anyway after that I went to the river and found a pier (seriously, they're everywhere), and took a boat back south to the MRT. On the way I met two ladies who were probably in their 70s, from Chicago here on holiday. Which, I'm really amazed at how touristy the Bangkok crowd is. It's not like everyone is young like in other exotic locations, there's an amazing number of western families. With small children, no less.

I took the MRT back to the hostel, and that brings us to now. This city is absolutely amazing. I mean, really amazing. I know why it attracts so many expats, because it is the place to be. I know my unofficial rule is "One year per country", but god, I don't know if one year will be enough time here. I'm ready to retire, now. I hope in a way I'll tire of it by the end, just so I have a desire to see other places. But for the time being, everyone reading, seriously. Find some time this year to come to Bangkok. Start picking out days off now. It's a phenomenal place, and I want to share it with everyone.