So I had my first day of work.

Here's the thing about Thailand - things are never done as they should be. I've beaten the "public transportation is never on time" thing to death before. But things like the construction of new subway lines. Granted I know these things usually go over schedule, but not like, 10 years over deadline. And speaking of, when you get on the MRT and BTS they're supposed to check your bags. I've never seen anyone manning the BTS security. The MRT one, they literally just stand there and do nothing when the metal detector goes off. If you open your bag, they maybe will apathetically glance inside for a quarter second.

Nothing is ever done as it should be at work either. I had planned to teach the lesson I, you know, planned. Just before the start they said "Ok, you're doing that lesson Thursday. Do this worksheet today." I tried to liven it up, but this was a massive worksheet we just had to power through. It was boring. I didn't like it. But it was finished. Also, I walked into a class of 50 students. Surprise? Because I was originally told around 20. You know how hard it is to learn the names of 50 students? Damn near impossible. They were surprisingly well behaved though. Lecturing the finer points of word order in what I would consider, a stadium was weird. It's a very different style than I'm used to, and I really have to relearn how to teach, as I have no experience with such a large class.

Anyway, after work I got to head out and pick up some cooking stuff I found on Craigslist. Yes, that is a thing here, and some people use it. Anywho, I met a Northern Irish guy who hooked me up with a kettle and toaster for almost nothing. I asked him if he had any more stuff, so he said I could help myself. I basically stripped his kitchen, and he let almost everything go for pennies. Thanks, Northern Irish guy whose name I forgot. You are awesome, and the first Northern Irish guy I have met. Thus, all of Northern Ireland is awesome. Congratulations, guys.

I also had to get a rice cooker from somewhere near there. Or so I thought. I typed in the name of the apartment complex, and Google said "Ey brah, it's right over here." Thanks Google! I get there though, and it is totally not there. I take a more careful look at the address, and it's 2 subway stops away. God damnit. So I get to the street, and ask "Where is blahblah apartments?" "Oh, it's down the road that way." So I walk. And walk. I ask again "Still down that way." I walk some more, carrying pots and pans sticking halfway out of my backpack. Finally I arrive, almost an hour late. The woman gave me a free sandwich maker also (score? I never thought making a sandwich requires some sort of utility). Anyway, I decided no way in hell am I walking that again. So I hail a cab, tell him to go to the nearest MRT station. He drives like 100 meters, then stops. Looks back at me and says, "No, no."
The hell? "No no?"
"No, no..."

So suddenly cab driver has decided he doesn't want to go there. I wanted to punch him. That's actually illegal here, but good luck getting it enforced. Not wanting to mess with that, I got out. Next was a bike taxi, which I deemed impossible given my armfulls of stuff. But the guy insisted, and dropped his price to 30 baht. Alright, then. Your (our?) funeral. So we zipped along, and, I can say this with pride, I hit a bus with a frying pan. Not intentionally, of course. But have you done that? I didn't think so. Suddenly he stops and says "We're here!" We are definitely not there.

"No no... the MRT station."
"Huh?"
"That thing you said you know where it was... and quoted me a price. WTF are you thinking?"
"Oh oh, MRT!"

So he drives to the MRT, stops. It was a little further than he thought, so whatever. I'll give him 40 baht, I think, and I hand him 2 20s.

"60 baht!"
"How about no? Because you said 30, but I was a pain, so I'll do you a solid with 40."
"(angrily) 60 baht!"
"Uhh... I'll give you 45 I guess?"
"60 BAHT!"

I had put down my rice cooker to get my wallet, so this dude decides he's just going to steal it. The hell he is, I just went through hell to get that! So he reaches for it, and starts to drive off. I grab the other end of the bag. Being plastic, it rips. He nearly falls off the bike when it does, and the rice cooker crashes into the street. He shouts at me angrily. I pick up my rice cooker from the street, yell an obscenity back, and go to the MRT station. Screw him. Now with the bag ripped and useless, I was walking through the train hugging this rice cooker like a maniac. But, home. Finally. Rice cooker in hand, frying pan slightly dented from a bus, and 20 baht richer.

Sad to leave Chiang Rai, I caught a bus to Sukhothai. Sukhothai is the original capital of Thailand, back when the Kingdom of Siam began in 1238. (Thanks, Wikipedia). After that, it was moved to Ayutthaya in 1351. So, despite being the original, it was only around for 100ish years. Still, wanted to see it.

The bus left quite early in the morning - 6:30am, which meant I had to be up at 5:30. It was supposed to get me into Sukhothai at 1:30pm. My plan was, see the ruins, see some more in the morning, be back in Bangkok for the evening. That all quickly fell apart. First of all, we stopped at this crazy weird rest stop for lunch, despite only being about 1 hour from the destination. It was like this resort in the middle of nowhere, and we were all encouraged off the bus to eat. I didn't want to get stranded, so I stuck close to the driver. Constantly, monitoring him to see when he was going back to the bus. They made a pretty mean Khao Soi though.

So, after the 1 hour jaunt, my 1:30pm arrival time was now 4:00pm. Because, in this country it is impossible to have anything run on time, the people included. That pretty much killed my half day, as I didn't see the point to drive out there and pay admission to have an hour to look around. Instead I ran into, I swear this is true, Mr. Taiwan in the bus station. Mr. Taiwan is not from Taiwan, but he does run the hostel I was thinking about staying it. He offered to drive me there, so why not? It was a very cheap, but very plain hostel. Still, he was nice, and it was only 1 night. I decided I'm going to get up super early to get to the Old City when it opens at 6:00am, so I can knock it and another set of ruins out in 1 day. He said it couldn't be done, I would need 2 days. They clearly don't know how I travel - challenge accepted. I asked them to book me a sleeper bus ticket for the following evening, rented a motorcycle, then went out to the night market. It's a very small market, but I did share a table and several beers with some French guy whose name escapes me. He lives in France with his Korean wife. His wife's inlaws are visiting, so she told him to get out of the house for a while. He took that to mean, get out of the country for a little while. In truth he says he's been to Thailand many many times. He actually had a lot to say about what Thailand was like back in 1960. But per his words, in places like Sukhothai, nothing has changed. I can believe it. Anyway we had a lot of beer, and I went back to the hostel for an early day.

The advantage of getting there at park opening, is that like the buses, all Thais are late - including ticket clerks. There was a security guard, and since it was 6:00, he let me go in for free. Score! I have nothing much to say about the place except there are a lot of really, really old buildings. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves. It's divided into 3 zones, and I managed to finish zone 1 and 2 before any ticket people showed up for work. Unfortunately by the time I hit zone 3, it had become late enough in the day that someone arrived. I had to pay 110 baht, but meh, I got two freebies already. Zone 3 was actually my favorite, a lot of old temples that the forest has started to overtake. Also I found a big line of army ants, and I missed with them by putting rocks on their path.

With Sukhothai finished before most people wake up, the other thing to see was a bigger deal. Si Satchinalai was the "sister city" of Sukhothai, and it has its own set of ruins. It's a 60km drive north, so I saddled up the bike, and saw a really big buddha on the way. While smaller that Sukhothai, I found that this place was much better. Not a tourist in sight, I got full reign of the place. Also it was like Zone 3 in Sukhothai, in that it was pretty much a lot of old temples in the forest. Really felt like something out of Zelda. So I'm glad I made the trip, even though it only took about an hour to finish. So, back I went, and at around 3pm, turned in the bike, and asked about my bus ticket.

"Oh, you can't book those. You have to go to the station."
"ARGH! Then why did you say you would do it?"
"I suddenly choose not to understand English."


So I had to pay to get to the bus station, and drug the worker from the hostel with me. The ticket was still available, and had him ensure it was a sleeper ticket. He said yes yes, you can sleep on the bus. More on that later. So I went to get a drink, and this guy just knocked off. I don't know where he went, but I walked around the station for a while to try and find him. No clue. I figure he'll survive in his own country, and left.

Now I had 7 hours to kill before my bus. I went to Phra Mae Ya Shrine, pretty much the only tourist attraction in the city. It's pretty. The guy working there sold me a big can of Coke Zero for 10 baht, so I like him and his shrine a lot. Other than that, I just chilled out. I've never had such a large amount of time with 0 to do, so I made a list of things I learned about being stuck in a rural Thai city with nothing to do:

• Google, travel sites, etc often incredibly inaccurate. Specifically the movie theatre, electronic store, and temple I wanted to go to simply did not exist.
• If you don't move, you sweat. God, the weather here. Without even the little wind from walking, your face becomes like a river.
• Tripadvisor is for the desperate. There's a lot of stuff on there, but most of it is incredibly mundane and stupid. In fact, 99% of it is stupid.
• Bathrooms and power outlets are like winning the lottery.
• People think you are lost. In fact, everyone in the city is like "We have foreigners now?"
• The sun is your enemy. If he can see you, you are losing the game.
• If you're outside, you'll get dehydrated and not realize. Especially when you're tired and on "autopilot". Occasionally sit down and drink a bottle of water, even if you don't think you need to. You'll notice yourself thinking much more clearly afterwards.
• Kids are fearless. At Phra Mae Ya Shrine, one just walked up and poked me for no reason. When I poked him back, he looked shocked and ran away.
• Its hard to stay clean. Seriously, I wouldn't want to be next to me.
• Spread out your dumb activities. When you think "I'll go to the pet shop, then to 7-11, then look at the market", do those things with 30 minute or longer breaks inbetween them.

So basically I walked around the city and sat on a bench by the river for a long time. I finally found a coffee shop with Wifi and electricity, so that let me download some TV to watch later. I went to the station, got on my bus, and quickly realize this is definitely not a sleeper bus. God damnit. I managed to sleep for about 5 hours anyway. This bus was to arrive in Bangkok at 5:30am. Because nothing can run on time, it actually arrived around 4:45am. What the hell, guys? I went back to my old hostel to pick up my luggage, but since they weren't open yet, I fell asleep on the couch to round out my crazy tour across north Thailand.

And now, pretty much moved into my apartment, I had a crazy first day at work. Like, really crazy. But, that's a story for next time.

In the battle of the Chiangs, Chiang Rai wins by a landslide over Chiang Mai.

For one, it's not filled with douchey foreigners. For two, there are taxis everywhere who won't scam you. For three, there's an awesome night market in the center of town with a beer garden. For four, you can actually walk to places.

The first stop was to the only real tourist thing of note, The White Palace. Or at least, the only thing I cared to see. The White Palace is weird in all the good ways. It was started by some artist back in the 90s, and is scheduled to be completed in 2070. That's not an exaggeration. So after arriving in Chiang Rai I immediately went to the platform going there - a blistering hot local bus with no ventilation. After arriving I met two Spanish girls also on holiday, so we explored together.

The White Palace is part art installation, part temple. The temple part was fine, and you'll have to take my word for it, but the walls of the temple were painted with Doreamon, The WTC Twin Towers, Angry Birds, and Star Wars. I say take my word for it cause they were super bitchy about pictures. Anyways, the rest of the temple away from prying guards was easier to snap shots of. It's actually one of the most impressively intricate things I've ever seen, so here are some photos.

 

After, I went back to my hostel which is super, super nice. I don't ask much from a hostel. I want soap in the shower, good WiFi, and electricity. This one passes with flying colors. It's also super clean, has free breakfast, and everything looks brand new. I met two people there, from Poland and Switzerland. We went out for a beer, and everyone was so awesome in fact, we decided to rent motorcycles together and biker gang it up to the Golden Triangle the following day.

The Golden Triangle is where Laos, Myanmar, and Thailand meet on the Meekong. It used to be a huge opium growing area, now its basically a tourist trap. Albeit an interesting one. It was about a 3 hour drive to get there, which is probably double the amount of experience I've ever had on a motorcycle. We stopped at a town first to see this old ruin. Then we had lunch at a restaurant overlooking the river. I asked for Khao Soi - 1 for me, 1 for Sandra. Marek ordered a salad. We got a pot of fish soup with rice.
Oooookay. Just roll with it? It actually was pretty good soup. After that it was onto the Golden Triangle itself. Basically, full of cheesy tourist souvenirs. You could also take a boat to an island with even more souvenirs, because that's fantastic? We declined, and walked around taking photos of this weird place.

On the road again, we passed a giiiiiant museum called the Hall of Opium. Markek heard it was cool. It was cool actually. An incredibly ornate facility designed by the Queen to educate people about the history and dangers of opium and other illegal drugs. Also I got to see real opium. It's a weird looking plant. They said no picture inside again, and there were security people in almost every room to enforce it. Why do you do this, Thailand? Why do you care if people take photos? So I got a selfie with this girl statue near the bathroom.

Anyway, the last stop was Mae Sai. A border town with a lot of character, we parked our bikes under the bridge to Myanmar. So it's for reals the furthest you can go in Thailand. It had a bustling market selling all sorts of trinkets, unusual food, and a steady stream of people coming and going. Myanmar seems interesting. Maybe that's next years destination.

And now after several hours of bike riding, I'm back at the hostel. The final destination is Sukhothai, the original capital of Thailand. Suck it, Ayutthaya.

Fuck you, Chiang Mai.

I don't like this city. It's too big to walk, but finding a taxi is like finding a unicorn. There are plenty of tuk tuks though, more than happy to rip you off. Songkran is in full swing here, celebrated predominantly by foreigners. I got a taste of Songkran in Pai - you know, a water gun here and there. Chiang Mai's Songkran goal is to get you as wet as possible. You know how you can't push people in pools anymore because everyone has a several hundred dollar phone in their pocket? They never got that memo here. I thought my poor phone had been killed when someone, literally, stuck a hose in the window crack of the taxi. I was pissed. The driver was pissed. I know you want to have fun but by ruining a car's interior? Luckily a night in a bowl of rice seems to have saved my little S3. Furthermore I've had 2 meals ruined by assholes, and saw some drunk foreigners ruin an old lady's cart of sausages. Why would you do that? Have fun, but let's keep the property damage to a minimum.

So I don't have a high opinion of Chiang Mai, and am cutting my stay short by 1 day to get the hell out of here. Which also because there's nothing to do that doesn't involve getting soaked. The only real point of interest is this temple far up on the hill. It's a pain to get to, but I'm glad I did. Its a beautiful place, and I met this Chinese couple on their honeymoon on the way up. They said my Chinese pronunciation was really good, so that made me happy. Then as we were walking around a monk offered to bless me. After, he softly spoke "Wait wait..." and pulled out a little piece of rope from his pocket. He braided it into some sort of knot in half a second, then tied it around my wrist. It's simple, cool, and I like it. I'm going to keep this a long time.

The only other thing of note was when I arrived. I had a crazy night out with some guys from the hostel. There was a Thai kid at this club, and he asked me to give him a piggy back ride. So that was fun. After he challenged drunk people to arm wrestle. But he blatantly cheated by putting all his weight on his arm. After he asked for 100 baht. I wasn't even mad, that kid was hilarious. If this is his "job", he's making more money than I am.

And that's it for Chiang Mai. With the extra day I'm cutting out from here I'm going to Sukhotai, a city halfway back to Bangkok. But the next destination is up north, to Chiang Rai!

So, I'm in Northern Thailand.

It was a sudden decision. I got an apartment, then was looking what to do for the next few weeks until work. I was planning to go to south for a Full Moon Party. Unfortunately this time it also falls on the day after a Jungle Party, and Songkran. I'm sure this weekend on Koh Phangan will be insane. That is, if you have a way to get there, as everything is already booked or are at a crazy price from scalpers.

So leaving the hostel, I ran into Tony. He's been at the hostel before, and was going to Chiang Mai today. Also in a crazy stroke of luck there are tickets available. Alrighty then. Off I go on a 14 hour train ride for a few weeks after learning about it moments before - my life is silly. Actually the train was pretty nice. You leave in the evening, and by the time you get bored it's time to sleep. Wake up and boom, on the other side of the country.

It was a short stay though, as we met a guy on the train, Serge. Serge was headed to Pai, a town about 3 further hours north near Myanmar. Sounded good to us. So off we went on another trip, winding through the mountains. I was quite ill by the end, and thankful to get out of that stupid van.

Pai is weird. Its like Woodstock never ended and everyone moved to northern Thailand. The population is 90% bearded, rastafarian foreigner hippies. It is cheap to live here though. All you can eat buffets for $3, hotels for $2. It's ridiculous. Anyway Tony wanted to rest after his trip, and Serge and I wanted to see this big buddha statue we saw on the mountain.

So we hike to the top, and there's this overlook with chairs. We sit down next to this girl, and she looks very familiar. Turns out I met her in Manila 2 months ago. Crazy how that works! Of all the places in the world, we meet again on mountain overlooking a hippy commune in Northern Thailand.

So the next day, I said goodbye to my travel companions to go to Lod Cave. I met up with my partners for the day, a group of 8 girls from the US on vacation. They were very "cliquish" and I pretty much was forced to keep to myself. I got some amusement though, because before we got to the cave one of the girs said "Guys, do you think there are bats there? God, I HATE bats." I'm thinking "It's a cave, I'm pretty sure there will be bats."

Lod Cave is supposedly the largest cave in Thailand. Outside I saw a few bats flying around, which the girl somehow convinced herself were birds. Anyway we got our guides, then we had to take a bamboo raft to get inside. There were tons of fish, and then the guide turned on a flashlight towards the ceiling. It was completely black, covered in bats. The girl screamed and started crying, which I quite enjoyed. Other than that it's a pretty impressive cave - although the rock structures really only looked like "elephants" or "tigers" if you had an *extremely* vivid imagination. After wading through pounds of guano, we came to the back of the cave. There were some old coffins there. I don't really know the story of these, but still, kinda creepy.

On the way back we stopped at Mor Peang waterfall. Pretty, but kind of a pain to get to. There were a lot of people swimming, but meh, not really my jam.

As soon as we got pack to Pai I rented a scooter for the next part of my trip - to Pai Canyon. This is more my thing. Pai Canyon is a very pretty place full of sheer rock faces, nice views, and this godamn super fine yellow sand that gets everywhere. But I hiked  for a while, having to scale places more suited to a rope and harness rather than just my hands and feet. The end result was some amazing views, and after the sunset I went back to Pai for a few beers. It was an early night though, because the next day was...

Hill Tribes! I met two others interested in getting off the beaten path, and we hired this guy in town to take us up to the border of Myanmar. There's a group of people I wanted to check out, the Longnecks. Literally that's their name. Cause they use rings to make their neck longer. Don't judge, you've never tried it.

Anyway, it's a 3 hour drive and then a bit of a trek, so I don't think they get too many visitors. But they get enough that they sell stuff. Overall though it was interesting. This is as villagey as villages get. The kids were playing around, catching crickets on a stick. Good eating, those crickets. For such a small village there wasn't much to do. Take some photos, browse their wares (which included ivory and tiger's teeth - eesh!), play with the kids, and back to Pai. After another night out of drinking, and eating at an amazing buffet, I was up bright and early in the morning to go back to Chiang Mai. My driver was certifiably crazy. It takes 3 hours to get there, he made it in a little over 2. Winding through all those mountain roads at breakneck speeds, I thought for sure I would die. One of the girls started to get really sick, and shouted from the back "Can you stop please?" The guy held up his hand immediately, and said "No, no stop!" She asked again. He said "Stop, 20 minutes!" Well she started dry heaving, and suddenly the van screeched to a halt. He opened the door, said "Go go!" and waited by for her to finish outside. I was in the front so I lucked out in the motion sickness department, but man that dude was in a hurry.

Whew! Back to Chiang Mai, and a touch of civilization - there are malls here! I need to see what I can do at this crazy city.

So first of all, I'm employed.

I landed a gig at a state school of Thailand. The thing I like most about it is that it's in a nice area of town - still on the MRT/Skytrain, but also cheap rent. The fun with that starts at the end of April, so I have some much needed time off until then.

The problem is I'm kind of limited in that fun. First of all, my passport is out of pages (#firstworldproblems). Well, aside from the ones I'm going to need for my work visa. I could go to the embassy to get more, but its like $90 for some stupid pieces of paper. Also my passport expires next year, and a renewal is $120. So, I might as well just renew it. Except that takes 4-6 weeks. Definitely getting the extra pages one this time.

The other thing is that Songkran is coming up. Songkran is basically the Thai version of Chinese New Year, where everyone in the country tries to get somewhere they're not. As a result, travel is quite limited during that time. Also, everyone shoots/throws water everywhere. It's kind of their thing. 7-11 has started to sell water pistols and water proof bags. I have heard foreigners specifically get targeted, because screw you. I'm actually quite excited about a city-wide water gun fight. It'll be fun to walk around being armed.

For my most recent outing though, I went to finish Ayutthaya, with the same friend I went to Nong Nooch with. Kinaree was nice enough to show me around and use her Thai skills to save us from dying. Learning from my previous mistake, we rented a motor scooter. The first stop was Chantharkasem Palace. It was a palace. It had old statues. Not much else to say.

The next stop was to visit some more elephants. There was supposedly a place a little out of town called the Elephant Kraal Pavilion with tons of them. It was hard as hell to find, after backtracking 3 times and asking multiple people. But eventually we prevailed, to find the most un-organized park ever. We drove around for a while, trying to find any sort of visitors center, or place to park, as it was not marked in any way. Finally we found some cars, so we stopped next to them. Then some guy came out and said this is employee parking only, so we have to leave. Okay... so he pointed us in another area. We went over there and parked. Some shop keeper came out and yelled at us, that we're blocking whatever. Well make up your godamned mind. He said we could go park over by this elephant pen. FINE. So I move the bike over there, and start to meet the elephants. These guys were super friendly, and quite curious. Eventually some Brit came over, and told us we were too close to the elephants and to step back. Well then why the hell did you tell me to park NEXT TO THE ELEPHANTS?! So I commented on how disorganized this entire place is, which he conceded. After he recommend we check out the babies, so we did. Then they offered us baskets of food for 50 baht. I only had 100, and they were not willing to give me change. "Ah, 50s are hard to come by. But you can apply for a photographers license for 50 as well, so that'll be 100 total." At the time, I think "Why would I apply for a license? Will they mail it to me or something?", but I realize now this is their way of getting money. I don't really get this Thai photo license thing. Around many sites in Thailand, they charge you extra if you want to take photos. I refuse to pay this. Either charge admission or not, but I'm not going to pay just to save what I already see. Anyway, since they wouldn't break my 100 we just decided to leave. On the way out some other Brit said to us "You guys are fucking assholes, you come here to see our elephants and don't even put $2 in the donation box."

Well first of all, if it's a donation box, I don't think you know what the word donation means. Also, your camp is run like a disorganized mess. If you would just put up a sign and charge 100 baht to get in, I'd be happy to pay it. But you already pissed me off making me move my bike twice, and then scolding me for parking where you said to park. And cursing at your visitors is a great PR move. So, avoid the Elephant Kraal Pavilion in Ayutthaya. The owners are assholes who don't know what they're doing.

The next stop is something that historically is very important, but I had ulterior motives. Being a giant nerd, I like Street Fighter II. There's this big reclining buddha that's Sagat's stage. I was being a full posing for Sho Ryu Kens and whatnot, and I didn't think anyone got it. Until one Thai guy who sold trinkets there finally laughed and said "Ohhh, Hadouken!" So thank god SOMEONE got it.

At this time I was dying of hunger, and fortunately there was a market next to Wat Phra Si Sanphet. There's a big buddha inside. Who cares. The ruins outside were more interesting. There was also this stray dog puppy who take to following us around after I gave him some water. He was pretty adorable, and followed us with great difficulty up the steep stairs, and back down. After a walk around a bunch of stone structures four times older than my country, and a drive to a park to relax by a lake, the last stop was Wat Rat Praditthan. No buddha this time, it's actually the burial site of some king. They had stairs going down, down, way down. I don't know if they were meant for tourists, but I felt like Indiana Jones climbing down into this 1000 some year old crypt. When we got to the bottom, we found some trash from some homeless person maybe, and a door to the crypt itself. Of course, sealed shut. But still felt awesome to be there.

And that was the end of the day in Ayutthaya. I'm glad I "finished" the city now. It's a fun time, but I think you need an early start or 2 days to hit all the stuff. Now I need to plan my next excursion.

So, as I did when I arrived in Taiwan (read that entry here), this is a random collection of thoughts and observations during my first month-ish in Bangkok.

• Random things are more expensive here, but on the whole everything is about 10-15% less than in Taiwan. Fortunately, 30 Taiwan dollars equals 31 Thai Baht, so the conversion is no issue for me. But, there are some exceptions like...

• Fast food. I don't know why, but fast food is stupidly expensive. Actually, any proper restaurant is a bit more pricey than its Taiwanese counterpart. Maybe 30% or so. Unlike the rest of Asia, KFC and Subway are the cheapest, and McDonalds is the most expensive. A Big Mac combo is nearly twice what it costs in Taiwan!

• Public transportation. The metro system is about 20% more expensive than Taiwan's. There are a wide variety of systems available - the Skytrain, MRT, river boat, canal boat, airport link, and bus rapid transit. They all are not integrated and each have their own fare system. Cause it makes sense to build two identical stations next to each other.

• Buses cost nothing (8 baht), but the system makes no sense at all. It's just a number without any listing of origin and destination. Also, buses of the same number but of different color will take slightly different routes. Thais just call a number and ask an operator which to take. Or you could maybe not pay an army of people to stand by the phone and have the system not be retarded?

• But, taxis are about half as much as Taiwan's. Bike taxis are even less. Tuk tuks are always more expensive because they're assholes.

• The intercity trains are hilariously cheap. It's 20 baht to a city an hour and a half to the north. For comparison, going one station on the subway is like 16 baht. I don't know how they stay in business. Maybe because their trains are super old and crappy. But hey, they bring you where you need to go, albeit with frequent delays.

• Internet. 1.5GB/mo of 3G is 400 baht a month - less than half of Taiwan's, and America... please. Get your shit together. Outside Bangkok the coverage is a bit spotty, though. After you use the 1.5GB, you still have unlimited internet, just at Edge network speeds.

• Bangkok is dirty. It's pretty much on par with China. After seeing places like Japan and Taiwan, it makes you appreciate how clean those places are. It is nowhere near as bad as Manila. I wanted to burn my shoes after walking around there for a day.

• People are more relaxed, less hard working here. It's nice that people don't work themselves to death like in China and Taiwan. They have a much more leisurely "when it's done it's done" kind of attitude.

• That being said, I hate walking in Thai crowds. It is the most infuriating thing imaginable. They don't walk anywhere with conviction, they just kind of wander. Slowly. It's like an entire country on ADD, they will just stop suddenly, in the middle of the walkway, to look at something that catches their eye. And they will block escalators by standing wherever they want, because screw you, "person in a hurry."

• Almost all food here is spicy. I'm getting used to it. But c'mon guys, there's also sweet, sour, savory... you're really only focusing on one part of the flavor spectrum here. Though I understand why you go for spicy, because it's not like you get a chance to sweat in 40 degree heat all day.

• Speaking of which, an exception is ice cream. They love ice cream. Maybe it's because of ALL THE SPICY FOOD?!

• They dig foreigners more than Taiwan, but less than China. You're not a rockstar, just a minor celebrity.

• Which, there are a lot of foreigners. Like, a stupid amount. I like this country and all, but the fact that like 1/5 people aren't from here is kind of weird. And I feel it really hurts Thailand, culturally. In order to appeal to them they kind of lose their identity.

• ...but they will still use that to cheat you. Having a white face means the price of things suddenly jumps. Maybe a little. Maybe a lot. They seem to have no shame in doing it. Unlike other places, when you prove you're not a dumb tourist and cite the correct rate, they will give up and say "Alright alright, fine." Here, it's more like "No, you're a white person. Of course you pay the premium... duh?" In general you have to try more than one before you get a fair deal.

• Which, speaking as someone looking for a job, there are a lot of jobs out there preying on desperate foreigners passing through. Poverty level wages for a work visa. It's a bit disgusting. Even more so that people will take them.

• There are a lot of 7-11s in Bangkok, thank god. But they don't have seats like in other countries! Lame. Where else are you supposed to hang out at 2am?

• Outside of Bangkok, stuff gets really rural really fast. I don't really know of the reasons why, but if you're an hour from the city you basically live with pigs and sheep. Which is why jobs outside of the city aren't even on my radar.

That being said, this is a great city. If I end up staying here, I hope to get the time to enjoy it. And if I end up moving on, I'll be sure to give travelling around a shot before I end up in who-knows-where.