I went to Nanjing this weekend. It has stuff like bunny shaped baked goods.

It's National Holiday in China, marking the end date of the Republic of China (AKA Taiwan), and the founding of the People's Republic of China (AKA, the current government). I guess before it didn't belong to the people? Well, whatever. Go big red.

Regardless of circumstances, I get a week off of work, so yay to whomever. Myself and 4 others decided to pop up to see Nanjing, aka the south capital. Seriously, that's what it translates to. Beijing means north capital. Not very inventive with names, the Chinese.

Perhaps known as the actual capital of China during the ROC years (1912-1949), and best known as the place where the Japanese got a bit nasty during WWII. AKA The Rape of Nanjing. Twas a bad time. I went to the Memorial/Museum, but I'd rather do a separate entry just on that to keep this one more upbeat. It's not good.

Anyway, modern Nanjing has a rep as a cool place. I will say this - it was cleaner than Hangzhou, but not as pretty. Does that make sense? Maybe it was just the weather, but the sky was more blue. Overall I honestly didn't care for Nanjing all that much. I mean, the trip was fun. But I wouldn't want to live there. It just seems, somehow, to have less character than Hangzhou. The subway's nice though. The next blog post will be about what we actually did there, but for now, I have to give the finger to Nanjing.

You sit on a flowery throne of lies

On three separate occasions, I/we got cheated pretty badly. I'm used to haggling in China. Honestly I love it. You negotiate, talk everything back and forth, get what you want, you both have a laugh, and go on your way. In Nanjing it's like that, except for the part when you get what you want. I had a nice conversation with a dumpling lady in Chinese that went as follows:

Meat dumplings please.
I only have two left.
No problem, two is fine.
2 RMB, thank you!
<bite>
These are cabbage dumplings.
Oh, I guess I had none left.
Soo... can I have my money back?
No you cannot!.

Other scams were a cab driver suddenly wanting the fare to mean "per person" instead of total. We overpaid a small amount because when we told him to get bent, he of course wouldn't give us change. And a guy who took money for a SIM card we didn't want, and refused to refund it.

So overall, I find Nanjing people to be more rude. Also the girls were not as cute as in Hangzhou/Shanghai. There, I said it Nanjing. Step it up, you're lacking behind in my stupid Chinese city ranking system. I'm on the internet, it's kind of a big deal.

Right, except nobody in Nanjing can see this.

Did you know China has lizards? China has lizards.

I came back from KTV one night, fairly drunk. (which, KTV has Gangnam Style now - awesome). I was brushing my teeth when I heard <skitter skitter> from the bathtub. I pull back the curtain and see a lizard who is not excited to see me.

"Huh. Well. That's new."

Lacking any sort of lizard facilities, I put him in a food storage container with water. I decided drunk Weg is an idiot, and that sober Weg will know what to do tomorrow. It would also be a nice surprise for him.

So the next morning, I go to take a shower and I step on a tupperware container. I think "What the deuce?". I look at the lizard inside and it all comes back to me. He was pretty freaked out, probably because I woke him up. Anyway I was going to the lake that day, so I brought him along and gave him his freedom.

The bigger question is why I was going to the lake. I swear to you all of this is true, but I was the token white guy in a ceremony with the vice mayor of Hangzhou.

Seriously.

How did it get to this point? Well let's Tarintino it back to a few days ago. I was in the office, chilling out when a call went out for any teachers wanting to make some extra cash. I thought "Hey, why not?" and volunteered. What I did not know is that myself and another teacher would be the centerpiece of a song and dance welcoming foreigners to Xiaoshan/Hangzhou. I was supposed to look like a tourist, walk onstage holding my "wife's" hand. Then we got to dance, clap our hands, and do a peace sign at the end. Then there was a confetti cannon and a ton of doves being released. For serious.




It turns out this is a pretty godamn big deal. There was a media frenzy there, on account of the tidal bore that goes through Hangzhou each year. We'll be on TV and radio for the next few days.

So after, everyone wanted photos. My favorite though, was the bird guy. The bird guy started talking to me in Chinese listing off all his accomplishments. Did you know he supplies birds for Hangzhou University? Apparently so. So he gave me a card, and was "You know, if you need any birds - give me a shout." Right, so. I have a bird guy now.



On the way out, we ran into him again and he offered to give us a ride back. Nice fellow. His car was a testament to hilarity. The trunk was full of pigeons, and the interior was filled with bird seed and Chinese bird trade magazines. Mister Bird (先生鸟) as I called him, was a pretty hilarious dude.

I swear to you this is all true.