Hello from Guangzhou!

It's funny, but somehow despite not having work, our time has been really busy. I wonder if this is what retirement is like? Anyway, what have we been up to? Mostly domestic things to be honest with you. But before that, let's rundown what has happened over the past few days.

First, we arrived in Shenzhen. Now, the more astute of you will realize that is NOT Guangzhou. It is however, another massive city (4th largest in China? 5th? It's big ya'll). We also arrived at around 1am, which is of course the best time ever to arrive. We definitely overpaid (well, $20 a night) for a hotel with a... questionable reputation. Not dangerous, but when a hotel charges by the hour, you know you're not in the Presidential Suite. Anyway, we pretty much just passed the hell out immediately, to wake up the next morning and go to the train station.

Guangzhou is about 30-45 minutes north of Shenzhen, and the journey was surprisingly easy. We had planned to meet the coordinator of our school, but she was sick and pregnant that day. (I mean to say she was sick that day - she presumably knew she was pregnant prior. Maybe?) Anyway, she asked if we could meet her tomorrow. That meant one more day in a hotel. We had seen a bunch of hostels next to the train station, but those are actually just private apartments people put on Baidu (China's Google) to make some cash. Ella went looking, and only found a sign that said "These are not hostels - residents are not permitted to rent out their rooms" or something along those lines. Anyway, we stayed in a cheap hotel nearby. I'd like to say we went out for the day and had an amazing time, but nope nope. You know how tiring it is dragging your whole life behind you for the last 2 and a half days? Very. So, we stayed in and just had a much needed day of recovery. We were staying near a 7-11 (yay!), which is less nice than the Thai/Taiwanese versions. However, they do beer right. They have lots of imports, mostly from Germany and Belgium (seriously?). They're also only about $1 each for a tallboy. Don't mind if I do! Domestics are about 40-50 cents for a small can. I've gone on record before, but you could do a lot worse than Harbin for a beer. I am skeptical my liver will survive my time here.

Anyway, the next day we made our way out to the school. We met our coordinator, and perhaps this will come back to bite me if she reads this blog one day... but she was the most aloof coordinator ever. She took us through this massive, massive campus to where our apartment was (mind you, we're still dragging our life), only to find the apartment wasn't ready yet. So she offered us another, on the 9th floor, with no elevator.

No thanks.

So she offered yet another, on the 4th. That sounded better, if only because I don't want to travel 18 flights of stairs a day. And it's where the other foreign teachers live, so why wasn't that option #1? After letting us into our apartment, she immediately took us to meet another higher up at the school. We were just exhausted at that point, and then we were thrust into a giant meal and talking about work. Sheesh. Could we have like, 10 minutes to catch our breath? Especially because after that, everyone said "Ok goodbye - see you in 2 months."

Seriously. It's the summer, so we have our apartment, and the campus is mostly empty. I imagine it's how a king in an empty castle feels. Lonely, a bit creepy at night, with no obligations other than some occasional paperwork for my visa. Jeez, it's like Thailand all over again!

We did get a chance to meet fellow teacher Adam, who just quit after staying here for 8(!) years. He had lots of good things to say, which was encouraging. Also, we got to raid his apartment for things, and got kitchen supplies, furniture, a bike, and even a guitar. So, thanks Adam for making us feel super welcome by... giving us all your stuff I guess.

So staring at 2 months of free-ish time, Ella and I have mostly been getting our place in shape. But not only that, we have of course been exploring our neighborhood and the city at large. We're a bit on the north of town, but still within the metro. The school is across from a small shopping center and village with some pretty good local restaurants (and a KFC, obviously), but it's sort of an island of civilization. Just a ways out is pretty much nothing. It's nice in a way, and I even noticed how much cleaner the air here is compared to anywhere else in China. And not in another way, because if the local village doesn't have what you need you need to take a bus/cab/metro somewhere. Still, it seems the campus has everything you could ever want, sort of like a city in itself (when all the shops open). I'm eager to start.

Now, as far as Gaungzhou itself. Well, it feels like a Chinese city. Crowded for sure, but overall people here are a little more chill than Hangzhou, and especially the north. While the sort-of-amorphous-line-up is still present, people aren't as pushy or nearly as loud. Honestly Beijing folk, do you need to use your outside voice when speaking to the person next to you? However, people still do try to get on trains and elevators before other people get off, which just astounds me with its idiocy. Still, it's diet China.

As far as sights, we've taken a few days to go around. We first went to a pedestrian shopping area called Changshou Road. It's nice, with traditional style architecture, but it's just a walking street. I imagine they appeal more to women, but overall it was nice to see. We got drenched from the rain and cut our visit kind of short, but definitely worth it to go back. We also saw another sight nearby, Shamian Island. It's an island in the loosest of terms, as its more like a moat that separates it from the city. But regardless, it's a strange place. Its sort of like The Bund in Shanghai, but if you limited the buildings to 2 stories tall. Very colonial type of architecture in a very well maintained park. We saw lots of couples taking wedding photos there, and for good reason I suppose. It's full of kitchy shops and old men jogging, which is all I want in life.

Moving on, we saw the Chen Clan Museum. So, this place was when the Chen family, who I guess were a big deal, came to Guangzhou, they had a place to stay. Now it's just an old Chinese style house, similar to the one in Taipei that I forget the name of. But if you needed your fill of intricate wood screens, gardens, and covered walkways, this place was your jam. To fulfill the traditional Chinese quota, we also went to the Banyan Tree Temple (Not to be confused with the Banyan Tree Hotel in Bangkok - I think?) This one was a little disappointing, because they have a giant pagoda that you are not allowed in. Other than that it's just a temple. Nice I guess, but I mean, c'mon. Giant tower! Later when I went to take a picture of it, I noticed it had a pretty substantial tilt to it. So... hmm. Maybe not then. We followed up with a trip to Beijing Street, another pedestrian only area but a bit more upscale. It reminded me a lot of Ximen in Taipei, and seems to be where all the "cool kids" (minus me) hang out.

Now, we went to a few more places, unexpectedly, with new friends - Daniel and Mike. I have always maintained those are some of the best names for folks, and this is no exception. Daniel is a lawyer, and Mike is his assistant. We were put in touch with Daniel because he is eager to learn English, and I may be his teacher. He's a bit older, getting ready for retirement, so I was curious as to why he wanted to learn. His answer is pretty strange, that he thinks Western culture is more civilized than Eastern.

Come again? The people that invented the deep fried twinkie are more civilized? Anyway, he likes to read books a lot and is very well traveled. He took us around for the day in Baiyun Mountain, a beautiful park just a stones throw away from school. We had a giant, and in traditional Chinese fashion, way too large meal about 1/3rd of the way up. Baiyun Mountain is about 400 meters tall, and one day I'll get up to the top. For comparison, the highest one I climbed in Taipei was about 1200 meters. After we went to Yuexiu Park. I don't want to say too much about it because it's full of museums and other attractions, we'll go there another time. But for this outing, it was just to walk around and chat, along with seeing the 5 Ram Statue. You may ask, "What is this statue and why did you see it?" Excellent question, anonymous reader. As the legend goes, Guangzhou used to be pretty shitty, farm-wise. Then some people prayed, and 5 rams came from heaven with bundles of rice in their mouths. Then they said "Baaaa Ram Ewe" and exploded.

Hahaha no, sorry... Warcraft joke. They actually made the land the "most prosperous in China" and then turned into stone. Which, if that's the case, they turned to stone at the most awkward godamn position they could think of. Anyway, this gave Guangzhou the nickname "Ram City", which is also the name of my Techno cover band.

Whew! And that's about it so far! I feel we've barely scratched the surface of Guangzhou. There's a lot more here to do, not to mention all the other cities nearby. I'm especially interested in one of our suburbs, Foshan. It's sort of the "kung fu" birthplace of China, where people like Ip Man and Bruce Lee lived. Who knows when we'll make it there, but it all seems like it's next door. We've started to get our little place together, and it's coming together quite well. I guess I'll end with a few pics of that, and I'm sure there will be more to come soon.

First things first - chili.

What a whirlwind of activity this has been!

So, Ella and I have spent roughly the last month in America. It's actually been quite a stressful experience - job interview after job interview, and lots of getting ducks in a row before our move. Compounded with an unfortunate laundry-passport interaction, I think this month is doing its best to kill us. But, at long last, I can announce Ella and I are both moving to...

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Guangzhou, China!

So a few of my friends have said, "Isn't that where you used to live?" First, thank you for being super observant. But I lived in Hangzhou. Believe it or not, they're pretty damn far apart. Guangzhou is a massive city surrounded by massive cities, just a short distance away from Hong Kong and Macau. So it's a sort of 3-for-one-sort-of-countries kind of deal. Not to mention, we're near Taiwan, Japan, Ella's hometown, and a bunch of other places to visit. I'm especially excited that we both got jobs at the same place. I applied first, and then I mentioned Ella. Turns out they were interested in her as well, so we get to be coworkers. We're going to work at a school attached to Guangdong University, so that's pretty cool overall. Plus, we'll have an apartment on campus. Overall a pretty sweet deal. Let's hope it's actually as cool as it sounds.

As far as America, it's mostly been a lot of eating. We haven't been super adventurous, usually picking 1 or 2 places a day in Cincinnati to hang out at. It's been really fun for me to introduce Ella to all sorts of American food and drink. So far the winner for best meal has been the little old Knuck n Futz in Taylor Mill (really?). If you all are not familiar with it, and I am sure you are not, it's a tiny dive bar/restaurant in a very suburban area. But hey, to each their own. Also Taco Bell, and more authentic Mexican food in general. Asia is a Mexican desert (for shame), so I personally have been eager to fill my quota.

Oh, and the beer. So much beer. We did some bar hoping, and I think Ella is a little overwhelmed at all the choices. She seems to enjoy hoppy beer, so IPAs are consistently winners. I legitimately will miss all the beer options we have in Cincy, but I am sure we'll be able to rustle some up on occasion.

Other than that, what have we been doing? Seeing Cincinnati sights. Some expected, like the zoo and OTR. But we also did some more unusual ones, like horse racing at Belterra (Ella won $1), and the Sign Museum. Ella also found some really off the wall places I had never heard of on a Chinese tourism website. That lead us to the Lucky Cat Museum which was... odd but overall worth the trip. We also went to the Police Museum, which I had not heard of but was really impressed by. Just a bunch of retired cops showing us how things "used to be done", with a lot of local history. It's totally free and next to the casino, so I highly recommend it.

But alas, Cincy is too small to keep one occupied for a month. First we went on a family trip to Central Kentucky. We saw some stuff like the capitol, Shakertown, and Woodford Reserve Distillery. I remember liking the capitol as a kid, and I still do. While I'm sure out of 50 states Kentucky's capitol is not the most impressive, it beats the one in DC IMO. Speaking of DC, with our flight out in July, we decided to take a diversion. That diversion happened to be to Washington DC. First was to visit my cousin Laura and friend Aaron. But also I had not been in a long time, and what better way to experience America than go to the capital - except New York, but that will be for next time.

We did pretty much what you would expect in DC. The Smithsonians, Lincoln Memorial, and all the regular tourist sites you'd come to expect. So instead I'll talk about the more unusual stuff - we visited the-unfortunately-my-Senator's office, ol' Mitchy McConnel to get a gallery pass to the Senate. And when we arrived, wouldn't ya know it, he was speaking about how Obamacare is going to eat our children and lead to armageddon. We had to go through about a billion security scans to get there, and they had very strict rules about no talking, no pointing, no anything. They did not say anything about shoe throwing, but I'd rather not end up on a no-fly list a few days before I leave for Asia. After, Chuck Schumer came out to respond. So we accidentally timed things amazingly well, and saw both speeches later on the news. It was an interesting experience, although I will say the Senate is really tiny. You don't get the same impression on TV, but it's honestly the size of like 2 living rooms.

So for other unusual stuff, we visited the Mexican Cultural Institute. It's definitely not in the tourist part of town, and used to be the Mexican Embassy. Now it's just a really impressive English style house, with even an organ in one of the rooms. We also visited some giant Masonic Temple, which was impressive given that it was entirely made out of stone. The girl who gave us a tour was very eager to point out that we weren't "Illuminati, or some kind of secret organization". Which is exactly what a secret organization would say.

Hmm...

She was very friendly though, but almost too friendly. Like, later she is going to introduce their multi-level marketing sales pitch. Anyway, cool looking place.

The other place of note, and by far the most impressive, was the Society of the Cincinnati. The name was an accidental discovery, as Ella's Chinese website had it listed as The Anderson House. Which, it was, but then the society inherited it. It has no connection to the city, rather just the common root of Cincinnatus. The society itself is dedicated to preserving the memory of the Revolutionary War, and ol' Washington started it. Cool, I guess. I had never learned that. But boring history aside, the house itself was like, ripped straight out of Beauty and the Beast. Massive, 40 bedroom house full of European decorations, with some Asian stuff thrown in (Mr. Anderson was an ambassador to Japan). Certainly a surprise, to say the least.

It's been a while since I toured around DC (I think I was a teenager?), so it was fun to get to see things I hadn't seen in a while, like the Air and Space Museum. But overall, I find that DC is pretty similar to Cincinnati, if you added better infrastructure and more monuments. It feels like 90% of other American cities, and made me think that we really need to get back to New York sometime.

But for now we're looking ahead to Guangzhou. I hope people will get a chance to visit, because it really looks like a cool town to hang out in (if you consider a 'town' a metro area of about 50 million people). I'm excited to start the next chapter of my life, with my best friend along with me.