I've got some friends from the states visiting me this week. We have done lots of stuff, and I'd like to tell you all about it. But there are more pressing matters.

As I like to do when I go to Shanghai, there are a large number of people selling pirated movies. I quite like the foreign ones based on titles alone, and for a few kuai apiece, it's hard to go wrong. Last time I hit paydirt with "Nunchucks". Here's my catch this time:

That's right, its the movie classic "We didn't make a rocket but... rocket has launched!" I was quite stoked to check this bad boy out. Shannon also told me my next blog post has to be a review of this movie.

As to be expected, this is an epic tale of underground rocket construction, sneaking it across country lines, with a bit of action and romance thrown in for good measure. Just kidding! Much to my dismay, there are no rockets, rocketry, rocks, rock candy, or Rocko's Modern Life. It is a movie about some guys who own a clothing store, and another group of guys who don't like them, but never actually do anything about it.

O rly?

Ya, rly, suspicious Korean guy. I don't even know why you opened the movie. You're in it for all of 5 minutes. Most of it is about these kids who have the bright aspiration to sell second hand clothing. Just look at that spirit!

NPH: It's a brand new day, yeah the sun is high!

He quickly meets his business partner, and in overacting fashion, decide it is time. The day has come for them to open their shop, and sell the shit out of some jeans.

Kim? Kim.

Let's get this party started!

The hitch in this plan though, is 80s biker Korean! He has learned of the brothers plan to sell discount clothing at low, low, low prices! Of course, he can't have any of that. He rides over post haste, wearing the same sunglasses I do.

Ima kill any mofo that sells underpants!

After arriving at the shop, his goons threaten the brothers by smashing the model airplanes they have on the ceiling, and having a "who can look like the bigger douche" contest. My money is on "Inconveniently tilted hat guy".

Why is it so shady in here?

 Of course the brothers Kim stand no chance, and a chase ensues.

We hate your sock selection!!!

Of special note during the chase, is the amazing "Knife cam". Now you too can see what a knife sees while chasing Korean dudes.

Why did my agent even book me for this movie?

The gang does eventually catch up to the brothers, but fortunately it is stopped before any violence occurs. How? Well, the director of the movie yells at them through a megaphone.

Seriously guys, this scene doesn't happen for much later.

Then everyone notices they're in front of a business called "Panty House", and go their separate ways.

Let's go home, I guess?

Then this guy shows up, for some reason. He plays pool.

I can sink the 9 ball if I act just a little more asian!

Then it flash fowards to him getting drunk at dinner.

I'm a kid who doesn't know what being drunk is actually like.

At that point, the director has decided all plot points have been resolved, but he needs to fill 10 minutes to get to the 90 minute mark. So he decrees the screen size be reduced, steps into the movie, and yells at the actors for a bit.

You know I'm not paying you for this, right?

Aaaaaand scene. " We didn't make a rocket but... rocket has launched!" (Or, WDMARBRHL) has proved to me that it is possible for a movie to be so bad it's good, and then loop right back again to terrible. I want that 90 minutes of my life back.