Hello again, Chinese New Year.

This time, it's especially welcome. After a stressful finish to the semester, I'm eager to throw my life obligations off a mountain and dance with glee as they crash into the rocks below. With Shanghai lacking so much as even a hill, it was off to Yunnan to visit mom and dad. Those trips are always the same, but I'm not complaining - a lot of food, and then more food. And if you didn't eat enough, don't worry. Second breakfast, twosies, linner, and 4th meal are always available.

But saying "I ate a lot and then took a nap" 5 times isn't exactly exciting reading, but rest assured I had my fill. Instead let's talk about where we went after, off to the lovely country of Laos.

Laos holds a place very dear to my heart. I cannot help but be impressed by the people here. Because frankly, they should hate us (Americans). We bombed the heck out of this country during the Vietnam War, making it the most bombed country per capita in history - yes, even more than Germany. In fact, an entire WWII of bombs have been dropped just here. And what's even more messed up, is that the US wasn't even at war with Laos. This was the so-called "Secret War" that even the politicians and public were left in the dark about - only because of Laos's geography, as it provided a workaround for the North Vietnamese to travel to the south.

Yet despite all this, Laotians remain some of the most delightful, happy, and generous people I've ever met traveling. And I don't say that lightly. Only Malaysia has come close for just how darned lovely the people here are. It's one of those rare places where you never have to worry about being cheated, or have to bargain like a madman to avoid paying the "foreigner" price. A price which is really, quite fair. A local meal costs $1-$2, although, there are no shortage of western restaurants. And if you want a $5 pizza, it's here. But will I enjoy it 3 times more than one of the best fried basil chickens and rice you'll ever have? Probably not. And when I see these western places packed with foreigners, I wonder why they bothered to travel to the other side of the world to eat a burger. No, give me a restaurant with plastic chairs, where nobody speaks English, and maybe even the menu is all Laotian writing. Point at something, anything, and you'll probably enjoy it. When we were feeling more discerning, Laotian is very similar to Thai, so we didn't have a problem communicating. But even if you don't speak a word of the local language, just look up how to say something like "pork" or "noodles". You're going to get close enough to something new, delicious, and actually Laotian.

But before we dive into what we did in Laos, we need to talk about how we got there. That's a story itself, taking a trip on the brand new China-built railway. While it was finished around COVID times, it has only been used for freight until very recently. And I do mean "very", with passenger service starting just months ago. Leaving from Kunming South Station, there's a special entrance where they check passports instead of Chinese ID cards. But the train itself is a typical Chinese domestic train until the border, making local stops on the way. At the Chinese terminus of Mohan, everyone gets off the train. Locals exit, and international travelers go through China immigration. Then you get back on the train, ride through a tunnel, and stop again at the Laos station of Boten. Then you get off, go through Laos immigration, and THEN get back on the train. A bit of a pain, but the best they can do I guess. Although it would certainly be more convenient to have Laotian immigration right next to the Chinese, I guess there's weird issues of sovereignty that are above my pay grade. Regardless, this path is very poorly documented outside of China, so I thought I'd post photos of the process if any other internet people happen to stumble on this silly blog:

 

The platform in Mohan, China

 

The exits for domestic and Laos travel

Walking to Chinese Immigration to exit the country

Waiting to get back on the same train to cross the border

Boten, Laos. After going through Laotian Immigration, waiting to get back on the same train again

Love the photobomb, random dude

Our first stop was Luang Prabang, a place I have been to before. Last time I left this place with very positive impressions, and this time is no different. And yet if you ask what there is to do in Luang Prabang, I find it difficult to answer. We saw a temple? A museum? And while they were nice enough, I always have a good time just being in Luang Prabang. It's a town with a lot of energy, with a unique character that makes me think I could retire here some day. Or at least retire here for a year, until the lack of any movie theater, KFC, or really any big city comforts get to me. But until then, I'll have some of the best coffee I've ever had, browse some unique things at the night market, and enjoy a generous amount of Beer Laos, at the same spot where Anthony Bourdain sat years ago. The three days we were there flew by, and honestly, there is still a lot on the "tourist circuit" I never got to this time or last. Which makes it even more likely I'll be back, because this place is something special. So I feel it's only fair to dump a lot of photos, because this place is great.

 

  

 

   

 

 

Despite my love of Luang Prabang, it would be a shame to just visit one place in Laos. Last time, I stopped at Vang Vieng, a midway point between Luang Prabang and the capital, Vientiane. And despite Vang Vieng being quite popular with backpackers, I found it insufferable. Basically take the most obnoxious people in your dorms, make them drunk 24x7, and you have recreated the Vang Vieng experience. Although the old bus route is about 8 hours to Vang Vieng, and 8 hours to Vientiane, so I suppose a stopover was necessary back in the day. Not anymore, though. We got back on the train, cutting that 16 hour trip to Vientiane down to 2, and mercifully skipping douchebag ground zero.

Thank you, China Railways.

As expected, the brand new Vientiane Station is very nice, shiny, and unlike most of the rest of Vientiane. It's changed very little since I came here some 10 years ago. The roads, still dusty. The busses, still from the 70s, proudly displaying the "A gift from the people of Japan" sticker on the side. But despite this, it has the SE Asian charm. Yes, people get their hair cut on a plastic stool, roadside. A karaoke bar on top of a Ford dealership? I mean, where else are you going to put it? Vientiane has a "who cares?" attitude, like most of its neighbors. I love that relaxed approach to life, and is something we could all learn from.

That being said, I don't think Vientiane is all that great.

Which is a shame, because it should be great. But when 75% of your major attractions are Wats (temples), I gotta be honest guys - tourists really only have the patience between one or two. Living a not insignificant portion of my life in Thailand, I have patience for zero. Maybe if I was educated enough to really tell the difference between the Thai Buddhism and Lao Buddhism, I might get something out of it. And to their credit, in one of them, they gave me candles, a flower, and asked me to make an offering. To me, that's lovely, and made Ho Phrakeo the only Wat worth its salt. (fun fact for Bangkok friends - it's named the same as Wat Phraekeo because the Emerald Buddha in the Grand Palace used to be here before Thailand stole it). Anyway, this is Ella's first time in Vientiane, and probably our last, so I thought we should see the sights, lest we run into a Laotian who is shocked we didn't see the lovely stupas of Wat Sisaket. We did climb Patuxay, a monument which has been renovated since I last came. It's also maybe my favorite monument, probably ever. As a recap, Laos said they wanted to build an airport. The US, perhaps feeling a large amount of well-deserved guilt, donated a bunch of concrete. Laos took that concrete and instead built a giant Arc de Triumph, in order to celebrate the communist party's victory. Meanwhile,  the locals have taken to call it "The Vertical Airport".

Well played lads, well played.

We actually had only 24 hours in Vientiane, but to be honest with you - that's enough. Last time I blew through everything by lunch time, and this was mostly the same. What wasn't the same as last time were the aggressive tuk tuk drivers, who did their best to charge the tourist price. But now that apps exist, they're fighting a losing battle - either they charge a fair price, or I wait 3 minutes for the tuk tuk I hailed on my phone. Perhaps that's why they're so desperate, that they know their time is limited. Furthermore, they are not happy about it. More than a few seemed personally offended that you won't pay 4x the amount you'll be charged on Tuk Tuk Uber. But eventually they cave, grumbling the whole time. Very uncharacteristically of the rest of Laos, having this silly bargaining game tarnished the once rosy outlook I had of this place.

But still, let's enjoy Vientiane while we can. A standout though was the night market was hosting a Laos food festival - yes please. We got some larb, a few different kinds of Beer Laos, and a cocktail right along the banks of the Mekong, the same river we just left a day before. Looking across to the Thai border town of Nong Khai, and their night market, I wondered if anyone was looking back. Speaking with a local in Luang Prabang, I was surprised that he had ever been to Thailand, despite it being so close and having mostly the same language. Then again, how many Americans have visited Canada? Still, with Nong Khai so close I imagined flying a drone over there with a note taped to it. I have to imagine the Thai border patrol wouldn't care for that.

In truth, we didn't have to wait long to see Thailand. We actually entered the country for 1 day to catch a flight. Although I love how close Vientiane airport is to the city, it's stupid expensive for some reason. Since I continue to live my life like I'm an impoverished university student, we hopped over the border to fly out from Udon Thani. Funny story there - Ella had read online that the Laos immigration officers have recently taken to asking Chinese folks for bribes when you leave. I didn't give that much credit, and thought "Okay yes, maybe that's happened here and there, but it's probably not widespread or anything."

Ha.

As always, complaining = cat pictures

So as we were waiting, I noticed some Asian girls in another line struggling with their bags, while the officer held up a 20 Thai baht note (~50 cents). They paid up, and I wondered if anyone else was being asked. At the front of our line, western white guy went through no problem. So maybe there was some truth to this, or at least that other line has a corrupt worker. As our turn came, I stood next to Ella and put my arm around her to emphasize we're together, and gestured for her to go first in full view of the officer. I guess that didn't matter, because she tried it with Ella too - holding up a 20 baht note. Ella loudly asked why, and to the officer's credit, this is not her first rodeo. In a flash she swapped it for 10000 Laos Kip (also about 50 cents). Ella again asked why, and then there was a 5 second standoff where they just stared at each other. I poked my head out from behind her with a "What's going on?" look, and then she just waved Ella on. She never asked me. And yeah, let's be honest - 50 cents means nothing to us, and is certainly worth a lot more to them. But I'd rather throw that money on the ground than be a part of funding corruption. I'm disappointed in you, Laos (or Vientiane). Either I really lucked out last time, or you've changed. I hope you can remember to be your once cool, fair self. Because I don't mind if a meal costs $1.50 instead of a $1 - but I certainly do mind when you try the old switcheroo. Laos, I am provisionally removing you from the top spot of the friendliest people I've met traveling. Malaysia, you're back on top. Congratulations.

Now in Udon Thani on the Thai side, it's nice to be back "home", even if it's just for 24 hours. For dinner we managed to go to a night market nearby, so I'm happy I got just a little taste of Thailand. But early in the morning it's off to Vietnam for more adventures, this time in the south.