So, check this - I went to buy a chicken sandwich. There's this small place near work that sells them, and I heard they were pretty good. The guy working there, this kid about 18 or so, was really happy to see a foreigner. Unfortunately he spoke no English, but no matter. I pointed, said "this", "one", "to go", "Pepsi". He gave me some sort of egg pot pie tart thing. I was confused. This is not a chicken sandwich. You see your problem was that you started the process to early. This egg was supposed to grow up, become a chicken, then you're supposed to sandwichafy it. You jumped the gun, chief.
Anyway I still wanted a chicken sandwich, so I pointed again. This time he understood, and placed the order. While we're waiting, and waiting... (for the egg to hatch?), he pulls out a string of beads. I'm thinking "Oh, well, this is new wait, he's offering the beads to me?" So now I have a string of beads in my hand. I'm baffled. Is this part of the chicken sandwich eating experience in China? Did I order these? He gestures to pick one off the string and eat it. Hey, why not? I pop it in my mouth and he starts laughing. I stop chewing when my brain concludes "Okay. I wasn't supposed to actually eat that." He picks one off, then removes the shell and eats it. Ya know, this is essential information that should be shared before mouth - nut interaction (The name of my new cover band). Well too late now, I just swallow it and the shell. He laughs again.
So I get my food. He goes to get my drink, which was... not a Pepsi. Before continuing just take a look at what I got:
I get some sort of hot milkshake thing, with Pikachu's knockoff brother on top telling me to "Have a good time!" Have a good time drinking it? Have a good time washing my hands with it? WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME, CHINA?! I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IS HAPPENING!
So I start to drink the Pikadrink, and it's a milky tea. Then one of the little dark spots barely visible at the bottom come surging up through the straw. It turns out, they are not part of the cups coloring. It was... something. Maybe a bean? I don't know. But I did find out something squishy unexpectedly coming up a straw and into your mouth is one of the scariest experiences you can have.
Went to get a chicken sandwich. Came back with an egg, string of nuts, and Pikaspooge. What the hell happened?
oh man, this is the awesomest thing yet.
ReplyDeleteLOL have you never had bubble tea?! Altho now that I think about it... I think Cincy is seriously lacking a good bubble tea place... But no worries. Those bubbles are good candied surprises and are ok to eat :P
ReplyDeleteDam you now I'm on a mission to find a bubble tea place here for when you get back!
seriously you've never had bubble tea? many times in truly Chinese places in the states they call it boba. its balls of tapioca. I've never found it in Cincinnati (not for lack of trying).
ReplyDeleteI am addicted to the stuff!